kunst wrote:LockedandLoved wrote:
The rule follower cannot be the rule maker. It's like letting the inmates run the asylum.
Unless the keyholder has no idea on how to set rules... which is my case!
Listen, one day when I was supposed not to cum, after a long PIV session I asked my wife: if we had not set rules, tonight would you allow me to cum? She said: yes, because you are very horny. She admits that without rules she would have no idea on how to decide when I can cum. Maybe after some months with the rules she will have a clue...
I agree, in situations where the male introduces the concept to a female who has no previous experience or knowledge of it, it can be necessary to 'prime the pump'. I had to do the same, in the beginning. However, I took care to write most of them as *suggestions*, both because Mrs. Twisted was not real keen on the idea of 'rules' that *she* had to follow, AND because *I* am not keen on the idea of *me* trying to tell *her* what to do- that would be 'topping from the bottom' and does not fit the scenarios of my fantasies. It doesn't turn me on to be in a situation where she is simply doing what I tell her to do, so most of my 'rule writing' was in the format of "The Mistress has the RIGHT to..." or "The Mistress is ENTITLED to..."
In my opinion, this format is a good method of providing some education and knowledge without taking the form of a set of instructions that she must follow. It provides her with the freedom to choose what it is that *she* wants to do, and leaves some element of surprise for the male. Of course, when I wrote such 'rules' they naturally pandered to my fantasy ideas of what the experience should be like and the sort of things that turned me on, but there was no requirement that she *had* to do what was written so I would have no idea of what she might actually do. I felt that this was the most ideal method of providing her with some idea of what she *could* do if she wished to but still giving her the freedom to pick and choose, to be free to expand the scope in the future, and to make up new rules of her own as she became more experienced and comfortable and came to understand what it was that *she* enjoyed.
And, it provided *me* with the opportunity to be surprised and to *not* be 'in control'. To truly not be in control is the root of the eroticism of my fantasies, not simply having a woman do x, y, or z to me. The only form of 'control' that I want to retain is in the relatively short list of 'Hard Limits'- those things that I absolutely do not want to occur (and, actually, several of these become available as 'penalty options' in the event of certain forms of 'disobedience', and since I absolutely don't want them to happen they can be very effective in her implementation of control and power).
Do I think it would be exciting if she were to do everything that I wrote down? Of course. But do I want her to do it just because I wrote it? Nope, absolutely not. I want her to do what she wants, because *she* wants to do it, not because *I* might 'want' her to do it (is that clear as mud, or what?).
The exception to this is that at certain times she might give me a 'gift' of following the guidelines of a fantasy scenario I have written. This has actually provided her, on at least on occasion, with the ability to discover something that has turned *her* on, that she would not previously have thought was something she might want to do.
04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted
