Simply, why?

[KHEmmi]

I seem to have started something with this topic!
What splendid answers and points are being made though.

I will need to read properly tomorrow as I've only just picked up on how much has been written.

Noted some points about 'the drop' though. Something I'm only just beginning to realise is such a big thing. Perhaps only realising it since keeping Herbi locked and denied for longer?

I like @waki86 words
<<But when I came, it was something I didn't really want.
I got frustrated about that again and the desire to please Miss R disappeared.
It also took a long time before it came back.>>

Also liked Tom's 'birthday analogy. About the "wanting being better than having".

I've learnt a few things in this thread. Thanks to all who have contributed.

[denied_one]

"wanting being better than having"

is so mind-bendy

[FinlandLocked]

I may say similar things than others have made, like I also do experience "the drop" after "happy moment". -And at least for a week I´m lazy.
This in my case is not a good thing for me or my wife. She don´t like when I´m lazy and I do like to make things and be active.

On the better things for me, when I´m locked, I´m much more creative and I get things done. And as I play guitar, mostly acoustic but also electric, I´m more focused to practice and learn locked. -But to get that focus I need at least a week or two locked to have that energy and focus...

So as I am locked, I don´t really want to get out since I lose that energy and focus for couple of weeks.
Sometimes I feel that it´s strange to be locked, but we both know that it´s best for both of us.

[denied_one]

Sometimes I feel that it´s strange to be locked, but we both know that it´s best for both of us.

This is the part, right here.

[KnownAsHerbert]

Sometimes I feel that it´s strange to be locked, but we both know that it´s best for both of us.

This is the part, right here.

It might have taken me over a year to realise it but I think I've arrived at the same conclusion. Best for both of us when I remain locked. Strange but true.

[KHEmmi]

Sometimes I feel that it´s strange to be locked, but we both know that it´s best for both of us.

This is the part, right here.

It might have taken me over a year to realise it but I think I've arrived at the same conclusion. Best for both of us when I remain locked. Strange but true.

We're all on the same page, then!

[Tongue+groove]

. We're all on the same page, then!

Oh miss. Emmi. You are always so keen with your comments. I must say we all enjoy your input.

[Dan_Lock]

This thread is really eye-opening. I'm still new to all of this, and honestly, I never thought I’d read so many people say not cumming makes them feel more connected. It goes against everything I assumed about sex and pleasure.

[KHEmmi]

This thread is really eye-opening. I'm still new to all of this, and honestly, I never thought I’d read so many people say not cumming makes them feel more connected. It goes against everything I assumed about sex and pleasure.

It's counter-intuitive, isn't it?
But those that say this aren't exaggerating as far as I can tell.

I didn't know if it would work out the way it did for us and I know for sure that what Herbi now has is not what he expected, but we are more connected, definitely, since he's been restricted in when he can orgasm.

Funny really that his expectation was that we would continue to have normal, regular sex just like in the past (like 2 or 3 times a week or whatever) and he'd be locked in the cage in between times. Locked to prevent masturbation but also to give control to me about when we have sex.

But I had read a lot and had my own ideas.
Yes, it would be up to me when we had sex, but it wasn't going to be 2 or 3 times a week.

So far in 2025 he has cum twice.
He's got used to servicing my needs without being allowed out.
No orgasms until I say. Aroused but unable to get erect.
And I get all the attention that I want, not just orgasms but kindness and care and thoughtfulness all of the time.

Defintely more connected now.

[Immaterial Penis]

The whole scenario is a mind-bend for me. I have not had an orgasm for 225 days today, and am now at the point where I am almost scared to, even if I was allowed.
I think it's the possibility of the 'drop' after that I fear?
My wife has no desire for sex anyway, so it is not really an issue.
The menopause really messed her libido up and we have agreed that my penis is immaterial to our relationship (hence the username).
We are however closer than ever. We discuss sex a lot more and are more open with each other about everything.
Since being locked, I feel that I can actually tell her anything without any judgement.
Being caged is a wonderful thing and she said yesterday that she is "very happy".
The pressure of her feeling guilty about not wanting sex is lifted as I am happily locked and have no desire to orgasm.
It may change over time, but our relationship is so good and so open now that I don't want that to change and if that means that I wear a lump of stainless steel locked on my penis and don't ever orgasm again, I am really good with it.