Free days

[Boater38]

Hi everybody! I/we have a question that maybe can help us with. My lovely Keyholder wife and I use the Jail Bird device. I stay in the belt pretty much 24/7, she unlocks for shaving, sex, teasing etc. There are those rare days when I need to be "out" of my belt and she feels uncomfortable. We have total trust and I would never do anything to step outside our marriage, but she just fells uncomfortable with me being out of it. She does not understand why she feels that way.
I have read before other keyholders have this going on and maybe you can enlighten us belt wearing males about that. Our question is, what do other couples do to help with this problem? What can I do to help her?
Some suggestions so far has been, wear very frilly undies and on demand text pic to make sure they are on, Kali's teeth. This is an amazing group of folks here at the Chastiy Forums and I thought I would ask you for any advice/suggestions you might have.
Thank you
Boater38.

[thumper]

My wife has gotten to the point that she feels more comfortable with me in rather than out, but I wouldn't say it's to the point that she's *un*comfortable about it. How big of a deal is this? If you're already in 24/7-ish anyway, how often does the issue come up? Also, regardless of what you do about it, I think it's necessary to really get to the what makes her uneasy about you being free.

[Boater38]

Hi Thumper,
Thanks for the reply. It's not a huge problem, but one that has come up from time to time. Like your wife mine is just more comfortable when I am in the belt as opposed to being out. When I am out I get a more than the usual amount of texts about when I thought I would be putting the belt back on.
Just thought I would see if anybody had any insights about this.
Thanks again Thumper.
Boater38

[Blaeu]

You really need to address the core issue here, and that issue is why she feels uncomfortable when you are out of your chastity device.

For example, lets say she worries about you having sex with another woman. If this is the case, your problem has nothing to do with you being out of your device, rather, it is about the trust between you and your wife.

Regardless of the reason to why she feels uncomfortable, I am willing to bet is has very little to do with the fact you are unlock, and more to do with what she thinks you might do while you are unlocked. Although chastity is a great (and fun) means to alter how a relationship plays out, it should not be used as a solution to a problem (such as infidelity, masturbation issues, etc.). Although many key holders may prefer their man locked up, they do not become so uncomfortable while their man is unlocked to warrant a post about it.

My point is, ignore the chastity device and ask her what she is afraid of happening while you are not locked up. Address this issue directly and look for a solution that does not go back to your jailbird. Remember, chastity is supposed to be fun for both partners and in its own, special way, is a sexual experience by denying that very thing.

[Celtic Queen]

Gentlemen, allow me to give you a KH point of view - naturally, this is worth exactly what you've paid for it and your wife may have a completely different view.

Hub hasnt worn his device for weeks due to some complications arising after a vasectomy. My observation is that he is actively missing it and doesnt feel connected in the same way now there is no jailbird constantly reminding him that he has handed sexual control over to me. Being a loving couple, his unhappiness affects me too so I am keen to see him back in his device because I know that makes him feel centred and happy. Additionally, his behaviour IS different without that control. I absolutely trust him but all the focus on me is diluted a little bit by the pull of his dick (pun incidental but funny I thought ) and I imagine that can be quite a titanic struggle at times.

Now interestingly, when we discuss it, he is unaware of a change in his behaviour and at the moment, I'm leaving him to heal rather than stepping up control and re enforcement - he's got enough on his plate.
So in conclusion, whilst you may be unaware of it, perhaps your chaste behaviour is preferable to your unchaste behaviour. Maybe if you need to be out, try wearing a glans ring. It doesn't stop handling etc but it is still a physical connection, a reminder and that may make both of you happier.

[thumper]

Insightful, as usual. The truth, you speak.

[Boater38]

I think you nailed it. Thank you for your input, I will look for a "glans ring".