How did your kh get into this

[tom19800]

Hi I've read through the majority of the topics on here.
I'm just wondering if there is something specific you said to your kh that suddenly made her realise what this is all about. And made her think this might be worth a try for the sake of the kh. Not just pleasing the sub.

At the moment when I try explaining I can never explain the same way that I had tried to, maybe I panick mumble and just get flustered. I have ordered the keyholders guide maybe this will help somewhat.

I've had the CD on for 3 days now but didn't orgasm 3 days prior so 6 days now. I'm starting to realise she does so much more than me around the house and allot of other stuff too, yesterday and today I'm making allot more effort to be more useful and it's not just for the sake of getting her into key holding. I genuinely feel me trying this out is making me a better partner maybe she will realise this too.

Anyway I would love to hear anyone's approach to getting there partner in to key holding

Thanks Tom

[Tom Allen]

I'm just wondering if there is something specific you said to your kh that suddenly made her realise what this is all about. And made her think this might be worth a try for the sake of the kh. Not just pleasing the sub.

Responsible opposing viewpoint here.

I think that when you try to say things like "Locking me up will make me more helpful around the house," or 'I want this to be all about you," then you're really sending the wrong message. First of all, most women would say "You jerk, why can't you be more helpful *now*, without the kinky sex?" Secondly, it's really *not* all about her - it's about you having a kink and wanting to explore it.

Instead, be open and upfront about this. Explain that you have a kink, that you're like to try and get her to participate in, and in return for her loving participation, that the both of you will work to find an aspect that makes it fun and enjoyable for her. Neither of you know what that would be, so let it develop.

[locked4her55]

Hi I've read through the majority of the topics on here.
I'm just wondering if there is something specific you said to your kh that suddenly made her realise what this is all about. And made her think this might be worth a try for the sake of the kh. Not just pleasing the sub.

Here's a case where "actions speak louder than words".

I began with telling my wife that I had a problem. Excessive masturbation on my part was hindering our sexual experience in bed. Wasn't a problem in my 30's but in my late 50's I wasn't as responsive. So. . this was a solution I came up with to make our lovemaking more pleasurable when it did happen.

Little did we know the benefits we both would derive from this experience.

We still communicate our feelings but there wasn't something overnight that was said that made this all work.

[jeromecaged]

First not speaking from years of experience - we're new at this and still learning.
I've always been into pleasing her orally. And I can honestly say she has had the vast majority of orgasms. It's not on my priority list to cum during every encounter even before we started the Chastity thing. Her only complaint is that I tend to jump into the sex quicker than she would like and I like the cuddle after. She likes the cuddle first and then falling asleep after. Fairly vanilla sex otherwise. My problem recently is not being able to stay hard ( 52 years old ). And the occasional jerking off worsens that problem later on.

I've started exercising more and have an increase in staying power. I told my wife I wanted to try a variety of things to make the staying power even greater. Going to an urologist later this week to get real medical advice, exercising, and told the truth about masturbating and that I wanted to stop that. I told her weeks before I was thinking of ordering one.

We're still in the learning stage - got slightly hurt with a wrong fit. Recently out for 5 days because of a long motorcycle trip. But we're looking forward to long term (Me mostly).

So far - I know I have to cuddle lots more before sex to even get a chance to get out. That's a plus for her. And putting me back on after keeps her awake after so that's good for me.

She is not a dirty talker - but now our communication is a lot better and she has actually started saying very erotic things lately seemingly by accident.

Here's the drawback - I'm constantly thinking about her and sex with the device on me 24x7. She is not thinking about it 24x7. I am learning to back off acting like a dog happy to see his owner come home with my tongue hanging out. I believe we are in a good position if I can stop my begging until she is ready for me to beg.

[mellyshubby]

When we started about a year ago, neither of us knew much about chastity. We saw the devices on various internet stores and I suggested to her that we might be able to have some fun with it. She agreed and we ordered our first device. It turned out to be so much more exciting than we thought it would be. No regrets.

[Locked by LRC]

We were in the phase of trying different things. I showed LRC the CB2000 in a Stockroom magazine. We decided to order it. It started as a weekend sex game. This went on for about six months. The first long stint was when LRC and her sister were going away together for three days. She wanted me caged before she left.

When she came back I asked "Do want the cage off?" She replied "I'll let you know later. Don't bug me about it." It was the following weekend before it came off. And so, our chastity lifestyle was off to a start.

[LockedandLoved]

My KH is my gf. I told Her early on that I am a sex addict. I wanted Her to help manage my addiction and chastity was one of the methods. I have to admit it started more as a kink than an aid to a problem but it has evolved. She has seen the benefit to our relationship. She has grown as a keyholder.

It hasn't been without its stops and starts though.

It's dificult to do and very cliche advice but you really must start slowly and let her find her way

[Tame Lion]

I agree with Tom. I don't think it is ever a very good argument to say you want to get into this because it will make you a better.....(fill in the blank). You should do that without locking your cock up. My approach was more direct. I told Mrs. Lion that I have wanted to try enforced chastity for a long time. I asked her if she would indulge my kink. That simple. She said, "Yes" after asking a bunch of questions, the answer to which was usually, "I don't know. We will have to figure that out as we go."

I've been locked over 7 months and we are figuring it out as we go.

[Grizzly228]

Mine isn't so much into being a keyholder perse but does enjoy the power trip of saying that I can't cum and teasing me. I brought it up during a talk about what we liked sexually and said that enjoyed going several days without cumming as it made it much more intense and I felt more connected to my partner. So she agreed to try it. She quickly realized (after having 6 orgasms that night and 2 the next morning) that my desire was through the roof and without a letdown phase she could benefit. And has done so. In a month I've had 4 orgasms, 2 with her and two alone.

Anyway I think the best way is to focus on how it benefits them and let them decide the parameters. Most women are not going to be dominant and understand why we want to be denied. But focusing on how it helps the relationship and her, she will probably be willing to try it. And like mine, they may not want to be keyholders physically or use a cb6000 24/7, but at least to me having to ask someone for permission is usually enough as I want the "game" to continue I will play by her rules. Afterall, if we are the ones making all the rules and experiencing our own fantasies only what's in it for her?