Ruined orgasm... ruined lust!?

[ME's_hubby]

Hi, Just want to give a short background first. Me and my wife are pretty new to MC, but we have been into T&D for quite some time. We started MC a few months ago and the longest I've gone so far is about 12 days. We both are having lots of fun with it so far, and Mrs is starting to enjoy herself quite a bit. I have little experience with ruined orgasms, but the few I have had so far has been OK. I have so far not experienced the usual mood swing that I experience after having a regular orgasm, that is until yesterday. Here is an excerpt from my diary about the episode.

“Sunday 14 Okt. Day 12 A5+, F3
Have a hard time separating arousal and frustration, but still think I'm more aroused than frustrated. At the moment of denial I get frustrated of course, but it wears off pretty quickly. I'm also very easily aroused, a look, smile or brief touch by Mrs is just electric to me and immediately gets me going! Mrs edged me at bed time I got close a few times, and then she said it was time to go to sleep. I tried to bargain for an orgasm, but she just told me to shut up and go to sleep. So I tried to relax and the sexual tension wore of. Then she turned on me and started over again, now I knew I was in it for an orgasm. She edged me and I got to close and I had to stop one, I stopped it because I thought she did not mean for me to cum that fast, and also because I did not want it to end. I think it qualified as a ruined one, at least I did not get that orgasmic feeling. But then when she tried to start over I could not get back in the mood, I went soft on her twice which has never happened to me before. At this point I really started to seriously regret having stopped that orgasm! We decided to give it a rest. Why did I go soft on her? Was it not properly ruined? It sure felt like it was ruined properly. Was it because I knew I was about to get an orgasm? I think I would have liked the idea of having an orgasm even if told so, I'm confused. I know I got a bit anxious after having stopped the orgasm, I had to pinch it below the head, as I felt like I could not stop it by just clamping down, and it was pulsing quite a bit. I have just had a few ruined orgasms before in and never tried to resume sex afterwards. Maybe I have a short refractory period after a ruined O. I started thinking to much I think ....and just fell out of it. At least Mrs says that I think to much sometimes and that she would not at all be surprised if that's what did it!”

I felt very bad about not getting it up afterwards, I wanted to so badly but it was not going to happen. Any idea or thoughts on this, what are your experiences?

[TwistedMister]

I know I got a bit anxious after having stopped the orgasm, I had to pinch it below the head, as I felt like I could not stop it by just clamping down, and it was pulsing quite a bit.

Sounds like you may have had a retrograde ejaculation. The 'pinching' may have decreased/eliminated the 'orgasmic' feeling but not the ejaculation, which, because the urethra was pinched shut had nowhere to go except backward into the bladder.

[ME's_hubby]

Sounds like you may have had a retrograde ejaculation...

Thanks TwistedMister! It must have been! What a bummer, release without any orgasmic feeling and on top of that a part of the drop in mood as after a normal orgasm. I'm quite sure I do not want to experience it again any time soon...

[Finn]

An ejaculation without orgasm without orgasm will still usually result in a refractory period and for me, the usual drop that I get, post orgasm. I have managed to get the hang of squeezing the pc muscle to stop (usually) an orgasm and, if I hold it long enough, the ejaculation as well. If I manage to stop the orgasm in time, and hold off the ejaculation, without relaxing too early and having it, or most of it, I usually do stay erect. My cock will swell up, bob around and try to orgasm and spurt semen, but if I do it right, I can keep going. I have heard that manually blocking the ejaculation can cause semen to get into the urine/bladder, but I've never had that with the pc muscle technique. If I let go of the pc muscle while I can feel the contractions of an ejaculation trying to happen, even after the most intense ones have died down, I will generally have the usual drop and refractory period.

[ME's_hubby]

...I have managed to get the hang of squeezing the pc muscle to stop (usually) an orgasm and, if I hold it long enough, the ejaculation as well. If I manage to stop the orgasm in time, and hold off the ejaculation, without relaxing too early and having it, or most of it, I usually do stay erect...

Ok, I'm going to stick to using the pc muscle, guess I need some practice... it sounds better to me than the experience I had blocking...

So, I rebounded pretty quickly from this episode and was back in the groove already by lunch time the following day. With some perspective on things, I think it was not that bad after all at least it was a good learning experience. Got a real orgasm yesterday, and in comparison it got me down even more. I know ME can tell that I'm down, and she really does not deserve the negative energy that I'm projecting at the moment. Gonna try my best today but I can feel that I'm not motivated...

[Finn]

Everyone may be different, but I find I am best able to use the pc muscle technique when I sit up. If I feel like Im going to have a big orgasm or have one happen suddenly, I sit up during the edging, or if Im caught off guard, just as I start squeezing the pc muscle. I also struggle to control it if stimulation isnt stopped. If I'm sitting up and getting no further simulation, I have about a 98% success rate at completely stopping the orgasm and ejaculation, which results in zero emotional/energy drop.