Released - is this normal?!

[NormasMan]

Probably going to sound like an odd question after reading about "Edging" but here goes...

Background: My wife and I have only been playing with chastity for a week or so, and for us it's more a case of me controlling masturbation, and her having assurance that I'm succeeding.

Wednesday The wife took the key to work with her... and when she got home we went to bed for "atta-boy" time, for some reason I couldn't cum...? I was right on the edge several times, once for several minutes, but just couldn't seem to ejaculate. No problem staying erect... in fact quite the opposite...

Is this normal?!

[Michele]

Haha I'm going to go with yes, it could be totally normal and go even further to say you thunk yourself out of an orgasm. I'm guessing you were so excited maybe that you were trying so so so hard that you caused yourself not to be able? The brain truly can have a physical effect.

[LockedandLoved]

I have heard of this problem. My KH edges me and I am quite sure I would orgasm if She continued.

I would see if the problem continues. I wonder if the "congestion" (blue balls) gets so severe that it's impossible for you to ejaculate.

[notbeinfringed85]

If I'm edged about 5 times, I seem not to be able to cum, especially if she lets it go a little soft between edges.

[belocked]

I wouldn't say it's "normal" but I've had suffered this too, usually because I'm just trying too hard instead of relaxing and enjoying the moment. Performance anxiety can be a real issue.

[Michele]

The whole thinking too much or trying too hard thing happens to women a lot. We try try try to give you guys that feeling of accomplishment from giving us an orgasm... and it makes a chick sometimes not be able to... some women take that opportunity to fake an orgasm.

It's so much easier on everyone when the focus is not on the actual orgasm but the good feelings that lead up to one.

Anyway just spewing my thoughts.

[LOCKED HUSBAND]

The whole thinking too much or trying too hard thing happens to women a lot. We try try try to give you guys that feeling of accomplishment from giving us an orgasm... and it makes a chick sometimes not be able to... some women take that opportunity to fake an orgasm.

It's so much easier on everyone when the focus is not on the actual orgasm but the good feelings that lead up to one.

Anyway just spewing my thoughts.

Well put Lady M

Stop over thinking and enjoy when my sperm level seem get high enough I will leak uncontrollably , could happen just from something she says , or even a non sexual touch.

[Lockedchef]

The whole thinking too much or trying too hard thing happens to women a lot. We try try try to give you guys that feeling of accomplishment from giving us an orgasm... and it makes a chick sometimes not be able to... some women take that opportunity to fake an orgasm.

It's so much easier on everyone when the focus is not on the actual orgasm but the good feelings that lead up to one.

Anyway just spewing my thoughts.

My wife used to have the same problem too. She would intentionally hold out at the beginning because she didn't want to cum to quickly because she thought I wanted it to last longer. Meanwhile we would just drag out sex to the point she couldn't cum, I would get frustrated because she would over think it. Meanwhile I've been holding myself back and would almost get a bit numb from over working everything. So we got caught in this strange cycle of holding out for the other person to finish. Then before you know it nobody was having a good time.

Needless to say we don't have those problems any more. After a couple good years of marriage, lots of communication about what we both like and learning to just relax and enjoy things problem solved.

[NormasMan]

Thanks for the advice everybody!

We are a bit of an odd couple when it comes to orgasms...

She: Cums once, not interested again for a few hours / days.
Me: Cums first time, and after a few minutes to get over the initial sensitivity, can (and happily will) go again.

She: Wants me to cum quickly, doesn't feel her orgasm is necessary.
Me: Very important that we both orgasm... I feel "the mission is incomplete" if she isn't satisfied.