Used to be a game, now she's serious

[lockedbywife]

When you say bed restraints, what position is he in? Usually I have my arms directly sideways to the side of a queen mattress. Sometimes cuffed to the headboard. I feel like in either position, after a few hours it gets uncomfortable. Is the purpose of the mitts to keep arms at the side? Do you combine the mitts with some other type of bondage?

[Cagedrosie]

Bed restraints are the better choice for longer term play. As a medical restraint collector vintage and new. I can say by far bed restraints are the better choice. They generally are padded for that comfort needed for those longer times. Leave alil slack as real medical restraints are normally lockable, even the straps too. Most state hospitals have now only used the 5 point bed restraints for claiming patients.

We have started playing with the straitjacket over night too. Completely different animal that takes time to get comfortable but sometimes she will restrain me as per the instructions by the mfg but as kinda a escape artist, sometimes the lock goes on. In which then, I'm f'ed till morning.

[Michele]

When you say bed restraints, what position is he in? Usually I have my arms directly sideways to the side of a queen mattress. Sometimes cuffed to the headboard. I feel like in either position, after a few hours it gets uncomfortable. Is the purpose of the mitts to keep arms at the side? Do you combine the mitts with some other type of bondage?

The mitts we have are locking, so they go around the wrist and buckle and lock. Then I leave him and he's unable to touch himself. He's not restrained to the bed while using the mitts and can move his joints around.

With that said, when I use the bed restraints in a normal bondage situation I secure him spread eagle tight to the bed but when I'm locking him up while sleeping (we have an under the bed restraint system) I pull the sides up to the top of the bed and loosen the straps enough that he can move a little, can turn over but can not get down past his chest at all. This way he's not cramping up but he's unable to reach to touch my toy. If I have him tied up there sleeping for 6+ hours I want him to be semi comfortable and able to function when he wakes up.

Hopefully you understand what I described here! (hopefully not too many typos haha)

[Michele]

Oh, one of the toys in going to save up for is a "sleep sack" or "body bag"

[ptharv]

Have done overnites in a sleepsack several times. Usually no problem sleeping. Room has to be very cool though. After about an hour encased in leather it can get too warm. With our a/c on last evening, I was only able to do 2 hours before getting too hot. Room was set for 71 degrees. Add ear plugs, gag, and leather hood, and you are in for an interesting nite. If you wake up, you have no idea of the time. Is it 1am or 7am?

[lockedbywife]

Really appreciate all the info!

[lockedbywife]

So as I kind of feared, we've definitely hit a lull this week. The high intensity of our interactions lasted quite a while, but yesterday I really think we came close to a point where this all stopped being worth it.

From my perspective, in order for this interaction to work there have to be some regular basic contributions from both of us. The challenge is understanding each other. I have no doubt whatsoever she has every intention of withholding my orgasms for a lengthy amount of time. That said, if we are alone together and things are too "normal" where there is little to no acknowledgment of my predicament, that's where things kind of go off the tracks. I have no problem with her blowing me off when she has my key (for a reasonable amount of time at least). That's dominant even if I don't like it. When she leaves me unattended for lengthy amounts of time where I could easily sneak one in, that's comes off more to me as neglect of the situation.

Don't get me wrong, I don't expect her to be all over me every second of the day, and on some days I fully expect she won't want to tease me or play at all. The bare minimum though is that when I get home and the opportunity presents itself, from my perspective she kind of needs to dictate that the device goes on and she takes the key. She was great about this for quite a while but Tuesday came and went with very little interaction, and I kind of figured Wednesday might be different. Not only was it not different, but I came home to her napping, so I worked out. She was still asleep when I got done so I hung around and patiently waited while watching TV. I wanted to get in the shower but that's the one place that she knows I'm most likely to take care of myself and we have a general agreement that I don't shower unsupervised or without being locked up. After all that waiting she got up, came downstairs and played around on her phone for at least an hour without really saying a word while the evening just ran out on us. I'm waiting for something, anything, even just a command to put my device on so I could go take a shower. I finally got frustrated enough to say something. Truly, I don't want to try and dictate our interaction in this department on a day to day basis. I just want some direction.

We got into a semi-heated war of words and I definitely got my point across. She kept saying she didn't care and she could do whatever she feels like doing, which may be true. However, a mere promise not to orgasm isn't going to cut it for me. If we're going to be that lax this won't be an exciting experience. I need a little more to truly get the sense she's in control and wants to be in control, and that this isn't just a game I'm playing with myself.

Maybe I'm just being a whiny little bitch, but I told her I felt like we were about done and just didn't feel like she was as convincing about her drive to do this any more. On some level that was a challenge, but truly if she's not then we need to wrap this up because my mind is on how backed up I am every day and something has to happen.

She held strong through all that, cuffed me down and messed with me for a bit after all that tension, then put the device on me. Today she made it pretty clear today that the device needed to be on and to her credit she refuses to give up on it at this point, and continues to threaten a long period of frustration for me. I guess I'm just not sure if I believe her any more the day I did only a week or two ago. Time will tell.

So there, it's not all a big storybook fantasy like my first post. Hopefully we get back on the same page and this continues in a fun way.

[ptharv]

You are trying to get her to play the way you think she should play. If you want her to dominate, then let her do it. First of all, you need to do more to help. Start wearing the device 24 hours a day. You don't state a reason for not wearing it to work, unless I missed it. And get a device you cannot get out of. Get a pa if you have to. And maybe you could draw up a contract to take some of the decision making away from her. Make the contract the way you want things to be, such as, orgasms allowed no sooner than every 6 months, or whatever. Of course she has to be in agreement. And if you are into the punishment thing, then have consequences for certain behaviors, such as yelling at her, not doing your share around the house, etc. Her obligation would be to let you know when she is not happy with your behavior, telling you that a punishment is due, and make requests of you to make her happy, such as a foot massage, giving her an orgasm, or whatever she wants. She may not feel like playing the chastity game everyday, but if you are locked up 24 hours a day, then you are playing the game all the time.

[slave d]

Yep i'm afraid the only thing that comes to mind for me is "topping from the bottom". Time for you to realise this had nothing to do with what "you" want in the end !! i think many KeyHolders would simply leave you unlocked and tell you to do whatever you want but not to bother Them with it !!! i really think you're rushing into this and you're very likely to put your KeyHolder totally off the idea if you don't get down off your your high horse !!! This isn't about you !!!!

d

[lockedbywife]

Yeah guys I totally get where you're coming from and to be completely honest these are the types of responses I expected. As a matter of fact I'd have been willing to bet a pretty large sum somebody would have thrown the "topping from the bottom" term out there. And that's fine, I'll even admit that's what's happening on some level. Being frank, had I not at least taken that tact at some point, she'd have never opened up to the ideas of domination or chastity in the first place. She wouldn't have discovered this on her own, and especially not to the level at which I eventually wanted to take it. The real challenge is getting to that point AND having her enjoy it at the same time. In a weird kind of way I think we're actually getting there. A lot has happened over the past several days and I'll follow up with some further details shortly. Now that we've reached the place we have, we still have a long way to go and that's part of the excitement. These recent issues are after a pretty long evolution in our sexual relationship.

It's very clear I'm not in quite the same place in my relationship as the two of you, at least not at this point, and I think I'm ok with that. At least understand that this is a relationship where we've been together 13 years and we do understand each other really well in most ways. We can both get away with being a little shitty to each other once in a while while knowing the reasons for it and neither of us take it too personally. The way she's handled things this weekend lead me to believe she's finally starting to enjoy the control, and whether I like it or not this is something I'm going to have to deal with on some level. She's really enjoyed the physical interaction of late which was sparked by the recent time period in chastity. She may continue this if for no other reason than it keeps a certain amount of sexual tension between us.

As for not wearing the device 24/7, I'm definitely not comfortable wearing it while playing competitive sports, which I do a few times a week. I also just have a huge fear of it showing through my pants at work. Maybe one day it's something I can experiment with but I'm not in a place yet where I'm comfortable taking it outside the house.