Writing a chastity contract

[KH jetzs]

Hi, KH jetzs here, my hub and I are new to male chastity and would like to start off with clear understanding of expections by writing a contract. I know the contract is a very personal but would love to hear from anyone who has used a contract.

I can think of about 50 things I would like to put it in for him to do (or not do!) but I have no idea what needs to be in there on his side. I would like to make it more than just a list he must abide by.

Any ideas are greatly appreciated!

[Michele]

Hi, KH jetzs here, my hub and I are new to male chastity and would like to start off with clear understanding of expections by writing a contract. I know the contract is a very personal but would love to hear from anyone who has used a contract.

I can think of about 50 things I would like to put it in for him to do (or not do!) but I have no idea what needs to be in there on his side. I would like to make it more than just a list he must abide by.

Any ideas are greatly appreciated!

PM me and I can email you the template I made

[wishful4]

There are a ton of posts regarding Chastity contracts. Simply use the forum search function with the word "contract" and you can review them one by one to hopefully give you some ideas.

[KH jetzs]

Wishful4, Thanks so much I'll do that!

[LongTimeComing]

Right at the top of our contract is a paragraph saying what the aim of the Chastity contract is. Why are you (plural, as in both of you) doing this? Our contract goes on to say that anything that ceases to support the goal needs to either change or be zapped. I mention this only because it helped us to not get sucked into endless scenario definitions, punishments, rewards, timetables, duties etc etc . Wishful4 is right, there are loads of contracts out there if you care to look. We all agree that 95% of them are crap but there is no consensus as to which 5% are not

It's your contract. Own it.

[KH jetzs]

Briefly, I ordered a device because I thought my husband wanted it as an occasional toy. I have now realized he would like to wear one all the time and so I am trying to oblige him with t&d and phsycological teasing. He has been for the most part very nice to me lately (non of the old, "I'm the man, what I say goes", and no more being negative at everything I say).

The device I got is uncomfortable so he ordered a custom one. While we are waiting for it to arrive, I thought it would be fun to have a pre-contract to try things out. So, I made one up and I showed it to him when we went out to dinner over the weekend. He didn't sign it and said he was concerned about keeping everything positive. He tried to explain but his explainations were really vague and I am not sure if it is code for, "I plan to act however I want".

Things were horrible yesterday--I asked him to eat some soup I prepared for the family and he made excuses and things went down hill from there. I told him I thought he might not be truly submissive and may only want to be submissive under "certain" circumstances. He ultimately apologized for everything but this does not seem like the right attitude for someone requesting lock up.

Any of you that have been at this for a while, I would be grateful for your perspective or any advice you can give. Thanks for reading.

[LongTimeComing]

Well spotted! Although she has her share of detractors, Sarah Jameson (or Lady Whisky: Share a Jameson. Geddit?) has some wisdom to impart ("Be careful what you wish for" is the title of her somewhat overpriced publication) on what you have come across: control from the bottom up. I did mention in my last post on this thread that you both need to agree why you are doing this MCL (Male Chastity Lifestyle). It would seem that a consensus is yet to be reached. What do you want out of it? What does he want out of it. Where is the common ground? Is there any common ground (I hope so). This whole MCL thing can only work if you are both prepared to put in the effort.

It's not easy wearing a CD. Its not easy being a Key Holder. You can't force him and he can't force you. Work together and the magic will start

Go for it!

[KH jetzs]

LTC,

Thanks so much for your reply. I think you bring up some points that we have missed in all the excitement. We talked about it and he says that his primary goal is to be a better person for me. He says he views CDL as a tool to bring us closer together. I agree but I also think his intentions may not be totally altruistic which is okay too. I still wonder about his submissiveness but he says he is working on his issues and really wants to continue with the CDL.

Since he has decided to adopt the CDL he has turned into a person who no longer purposefully pushes my buttons, he is in a good mood most of the time, and usually willing to do anything I ask. When he has "flashbacks" like the other day it scares the heck out of me because I know I can't go back to the way used to be. After we got married I gave up a lot (I had a PhD and a promising career ahead of me) and basically became his servant. As a stay-at-home mom with a grumpy and uncooperative husband, I was unhappy and didn't know it. I really hope this ends up being a permanent change.

Thanks so much for your advice!

[LongTimeComing]

As, when and if your hubby finds a device he can wear 24x7xWhatever and the absence makes his dick grow ever fonder, just remember the contract, don't give in, don't bend the rules and enjoy the resulting magic. You and he will change, your circumstances will change - so make sure that the contract remains a living thing and able to change with you both. It sounds like you have adopted CDL for all the right reasons, I wish you both well.