Wife Hates Device-What Should We Do?

[Devotional Sex]

In the blog A Spanking Marriage Susan writes about deciding that her husband can, when he wishes, wear a chastity device when he is not with her and it is his responsibility - he manages the key.

You can read this particular blog entry here.

I'm no expert on chastity devices so perhaps it is no surprise that this is the first time I've ever heard of such an arrangement. Has this way of doing things been talked about before in this forum?

[RegularJoe]

Thank you to all who commented. Sorry i was not able to read or respond earlier but I was not allowed to go back on this CF site until yesterday when She wanted to see the comments. They were helpful, especially seeing that other women had initial reluctance.

We continue to struggle with it so any further thoughts, especially from women, would be greatly appreciated.

Yes, it is not the idea of chastity but the fact of a device. And it does not a matter if plastic versus metal - in fact we chose the CB because She disliked metal more.

A while after Her initial reaction, She has allowed me intermittent use, as s a reward for good service, but never in a way She can see it. It is off whenever She wants access to Her Toy. We continue to talk about "Claire" (She has named it, perhaps to become more comfortable with it.), my desire for being locked, and Her concerns - which is all good.

Bottom line: She wants me to be happy but does not want to feel "pressured" into doing anything - a fine line to walk.

Trust me, it is amazing what a wife and husband can adapt to, given enough time and patience. Beth was once adamantly opposed to my wearing of a device....and now demands that I wear it.

[TwistedMister]

Thank you to all who commented. Sorry i was not able to read or respond earlier but I was not allowed to go back on this CF site until yesterday when She wanted to see the comments. They were helpful, especially seeing that other women had initial reluctance.

We continue to struggle with it so any further thoughts, especially from women, would be greatly appreciated.

Yes, it is not the idea of chastity but the fact of a device. And it does not a matter if plastic versus metal - in fact we chose the CB because She disliked metal more.

A while after Her initial reaction, She has allowed me intermittent use, as s a reward for good service, but never in a way She can see it. It is off whenever She wants access to Her Toy. We continue to talk about "Claire" (She has named it, perhaps to become more comfortable with it.), my desire for being locked, and Her concerns - which is all good.

Bottom line: She wants me to be happy but does not want to feel "pressured" into doing anything - a fine line to walk.

She may yet grow to like the idea of a physical barrier to prevent you from touching "Her" toy, and then it would be *her* desire, not yours...another aspect of control, in which you no longer have a choice in the matter.

We went through a long 'dry' spell, years actually, when it was put away and never mentioned. Then it went on for 18 months, her decision. Less than a year after that ended, it's on again, and Mrs. Twisted *really* seems to be enjoying the 'control' that she has...

[locked4her55]

Though it took many months to accumulate this data, my wife will tell you that I have a whole different attitude when locked-up. She says when I'm in my device I'm more attentive, more sexually willing to please, she receives more back rubs and foot rubs. Overall I'm just more focused on her. What partner wouldn't want that in a relationship?

Maybe it will just take time for her to realize the benefits. Then again I can imagine not all of us out there are responding to their KH the same as me.

As I glance into the kitchen I can see she is wearing a tank-top tee shirt that has printed on the front "His Lock, My Key" Yea, I've got to say she's all in.

[Linus]

Though it took many months to accumulate this data, my wife will tell you that I have a whole different attitude when locked-up. She says when I'm in my device I'm more attentive, more sexually willing to please, she receives more back rubs and foot rubs. Overall I'm just more focused on her.

Same here! In the last 1.5 years, my wife has come to the conclusion that all positive changes (which make her happy) in my behaviour are purely because she has chastised me 24x7. That's precisely why she is strongly against giving me a release, if it's not for sex.

[happyman1]

If you are pleasing her, and you enjoy CD play, then it's not a barrier at all. Most women at first don't understand our desire to be locked up. That we may actually get pleasure from just satisfying them. They don't comprehend the fact that we don't need the big O for us. Not every man is a "must have an orgasm every time" type of guy. I'm not. I enjoy the denial. My wife was pretty much ambivalent about CD play at first. Now she doesn't mind it. She was afraid she would somehow end up being a BDSM femdom type, which she doesn't like, but she soon discovered that is far from the truth. We're pretty vanilla when it comes to sex. She is in control of my orgasms is all. My goal in life with my wife is to try and please her both physically and emotionally. It was that way before MC, and it's that way now. The chastity part just adds to it. It's going to be what you both want out of it. Communicate.