Chastity Goals

[Breed36]

Thought it might be interesting to see what everyone's goals are with their chastity. Goals can be anything (periods of denial or staying locked up, orgasms for KHs, etc).

Anyway mine are as follows....

1) experience long lock up period (30 days +)
2) experience long period of denial (30 days +)
3) 100-1 orgasm ratio for my KH

[locknload]

My only goal, since this is my first experience being locked up, is 31 days without cumming. That started as 5 days, then 14, and now 31.

[poor]

Seriously, after over 2 years of having my wife as my KH my only goal is not to screw it up. I consider myself a very lucky man.

[Breed36]

Seriously, after over 2 years of having my wife as my KH my only goal is not to screw it up. I consider myself a very lucky man.

Haha. So what would you consider "screwing up?"

[locked4her55]

I'm with poor on this one. For almost three years now I have set some goals for myself and achieved many of them with regards to length of lock-ups and putting my wife's pleasure before mine. It's not that chastity is getting "old" for us it's just a comfortable feeling. I too feel very luck to have a KH/wife who is vested in this.

[poor]

Seriously, after over 2 years of having my wife as my KH my only goal is not to screw it up. I consider myself a very lucky man.

Haha. So what would you consider "screwing up?"

Getting the key back.

[Finn]

After some issues with skin inflammation, I only wear my CB less than a week a month. Instead, we focus on maintaining a chastity state, even though I'm unlocked. The real goal is to re-program my approach to sex and pleasure. I have been masturbation free for 7 months. I have not had anything more than some ruined orgasms in 7 months as well. My wife and I got into Tantric many years back, and although we don't use most of it, we have focused on needing male orgasm less, and sharing female orgasm more. This has gotten to the point of my abstaining from having a full orgasm. I've reached a point where arousal creates a desire to give an orgasm before wanting my own...which I still do, just not as much. There are 2 women in my life. With my girl, my wife has had us agree to never allow our genitals to touch, and I'm not to have orgasms. We do have/share oral, and I use toys and my hands on her. She also provides the 1-2 ruined orgasms a month. With my wife, we have recently started having me wear a strap-on for sex. My wife provides no genital stimulation, and I get relief from sharing her orgasm. So, the goal is to ensure that I don't masturbate, don't orgasm (fully) and to have me adapt to not using my penis for penetrative sex. Tantrically, I'm preserving my energy. Technically, I'm staying kinda horny, and my wife likes me locked up for a few days during her period.

[hot_toddy_dog]

Well yeah, poor is right here. I still can't believe I'm lucky enough to have gotten the misses to accept this. Now I just have to not screw it up.

As far as personal goals, this is what I have achieved so far:

We gave up having penetrative sex. No PIV. No dildos, strap-ons or vibrators. Already had a baby, not having another, so this is a permanent deal. I will never be fucking her or anyone else ever again.

We gave up on any male stimulation. No oral, no handjobs, no playing with the penis for either of us.

We agreed I should wear CB every time we make love.

Goals I would like to achieve:

Stop having orgasms entirely. I can still have "ruined" orgasms in the CB. I say "ruined" in quotes because despite having a little pain to go along with it, orgasms like that are far more intense than any normal ejaculatory orgasm I've ever had. I've already sized down to a smaller tube twice, and will be doing so again in the hope that this may actually make orgasm impossible. I kind of doubt it will (4th device here, after the birdlocked POS, a smaller metal one each time, and it was possible in every other one), but one can hope. I did get two different smaller sized base rings, which may help.

Ideally, I would like for us to only share female orgasm, or to only orgasm with her (rarely if ever given) permission, but that hasn't been my experience with chastity so far. Over time I have gotten so much more aroused by pleasuring my wife that it seems to be impossible to contain my own excitement and orgasm if we keep at it long enough. At least it is only on her third or fourth orgasm now, instead of her first or second, or worse, even before her first.

I guess in the end, I don't really mind, since I get to orgasm now about once a week, when I do orgasm, it usually occurs simultaneously with hers, and it is in my absolute favorite sexual position, lapping in between her thighs. If I have to still be orgasmic, that is the only way I'll take it.

One thing I have noticed that the chastity helps greatly with is building the desire back up immediately. Previously, when I was doing pure tantric exercises and with no device, it would take about two weeks for the intensity of full sexual arousal to return. With a CB, I can just put it on, and the intensity is back to full almost instantly. So I guess I would be okay being occasionally orgasmic with a CB, this is certainly to me far preferable to being frequently orgasmic without one - it really did get so bad, to the point that I would orgasm every time I went down on her.

Oh, and a note to Finn, since we have pursued similar paths... I did an 18 months stint once without a device. Despite my best intentions, I had two accidents. Once was masturbating, I was edging and went just a little too far, that was about 6 months in. If you engage in male stimulation of any kind, it is likely this will happen eventually despite you and your partners best intention. At that point I resolved to give up masturbation (at least using my penis). This worked until I had the second accident, which was in a dream state (lucid dreaming / yoga nidra), at which point I felt an enormous kundalini surge, and proceeded to have the absolute most intense and powerful orgasmic sensation I have ever felt. Since I was in a dream state, time was passing incredibly slow and I felt this timeless sensation that I could prolong indefinitely, as if as long as I wanted it to continue, it would never end. Eventually after what felt like many minutes, I began to become frightened that there could be something physically wrong with me and I began to let it go - slowly.

After experiencing a pleasure that intense I decided two things - one, I didn't need to orgasm anymore, all I wanted to do now was to help my lover feel like that. It really was an orgasm so good that if you only got to have one in your entire life, that would be it. Two, I really needed to look into a chastity device. BTW, that was after about a year of not having any orgasm, ruined or otherwise.

Just wanted to let you know that even despite your best intentions, there are good reasons to consider giving up male genital stimulation entirely (though that was a difficult bridge to cross, very glad I did), and also to wear a CB to bed..

[Finn]

Neat to see someone doing very similar stuff! I've been really lucky that after years of edging and tantric, I'm pretty good at avoiding accidents. I have had to squeeze the pc muscle a few times, but generally, I've managed. My sub/pet has really gotten into edging me since I gave up masturbating, and she's got really good instincts for when I'm about to go off. I hardly have to say "stop!" much of the time. My wife has never been big on foreplay, either giving or getting, which makes using a strap-on extra useful, as it's always hard and ready to go. My girl does all the more intense tease and denial, which is intended to help keep me ready and willing when my wife wants me. I've found that I am able to share the orgasm energy of both women, even though what we do is different. I do have a cheaper strap-on that I sometimes use with my sub (we beta tested how it would go, before buying a quality one for use with my wife. I didn't anticipate that she'd decide to go strap-on only though!) but mostly it's hands and mouth. I am totally blown away that I am in synch enough with both to get some sexual relief from giving and sharing their orgasms, rather than having my own. Most people wouldnt get that, or how it works, but it does, if one can reach and maintain the right headspace. At some point I had to ask myself "Can I have a good sex life without orgasm or penetrative sex? and if so, could I make a commitment to it? Glad to see I'm not the only one! If I could wear a cb 24/7 again, I probably would, as I enjoy it very much. We may look at the silicone model and see if it would work better. Security isnt an issue here as it's mostly for symbolic and anti-sensation purposes.

[hot_toddy_dog]

Yeah, security isn't an issue here either. I hold the keys, wife would never want to manage that.

I eventually found that the longer I went without orgasm, not only the better the tantric bond I felt with my partner was, the more afraid I was of losing it, and thus, the more I wanted to stay in that state. Willpower at that point was no longer an issue, I wanted to remain orgasm-free for life. Unfortunately, it ended up being ended at first by a couple of accidents, and then shortly after (directly due to the last accident) by a lapse of judgement, as I was not back in that headspace again yet.

Since then, I have gotten over the need for having any physical stimulation myself, but still can't quite kick the O habit. Would love to get back on the wagon.

You're quite lucky to have two women to share that space with, the only thing that ever discouraged me before was when there was an interruption of sexual activity for a while (period or just temporary disinterest). With two partners, I imagine that is much less of an issue.