How do you spot a chastity candidate in the wild?

[poor]

There's a guy from work who has recently moved into our neighbourhood. It's long been established that his wife wears the trousers in their marriage but on New Years Eve they were both a bit tipsy and she made statements that suggested (at least) orgasm denial & cross dressing taking place between them. He didn't challenge her once over this.

Now I'm paying a little more attention to them at work socials, BBQs etc. to see if this is the case or whether I'm just reading too much into what was said.

[Sub Cy]

But what I see in several responses is the assumption that I'm inserting myself into his chastity or D/s play. Oh no! We've successfully reached that lovely Jerry/Elaine stage where there's no residual sexual chemistry between us. Plus, I'm already in another relationship (the one that got me on this forum). But I can see how this would be confusing and that's actually the real landmine here.

Real and VERY major. I mean I don't know how "into you" he still is or anything, even with you being in a relationship now... But if he IS that way it wouldn't be hard for him to take that the total wrong way.

Again going back to the comparison to me here (sorry but like I said it sounds really similar... like to the point if I'd been at a movie around the time you'd posted that I woulda been like "wait....") I'm in a relationship right now, but if I wasn't and this old GF of mine whom I'm like that with now came up and went "hey are you submissive?" Whoa boy could my mind start running and that ever so itsy bitsy teeny tiny spark there could start back into a fire.

[DocSwitch]

I'd have to say that over the years I've done a lot of research and reading on D/s through forums, books, a play party or two, and serious psych research papers. The verdict in my opinion on spotting chastity candidates or subs in at all for that matter is: You can't. There are subtle signs sure but the bottom line is you never really know. I for instance am a switch, enjoy both roles GREATLY, however in my everyday life I am a total alpha with an alpha job and combat training. I'm a gentleman and very polite but also very much a leader and from what I've been told God help the person who crosses me.

Some subs are "walk all over me, I'm a doormat" type subs while others (like me) are what I like the describe as "The Knight". We serve our queens with loyalty, honor, and obey them however if they let us off our leashes and point to something while uttering "Destroy" you better believe whatever they just pointed at will be dust in a matter of moments. The same goes for dominants and kinksters in general. If you saw my SO in public you'd think "Wow...what a lovely, reserved, and well mannered woman." Behind closed doors...well she's just awesome and I'll leave it at that.

[TwistedMister]

There are subtle signs sure but the bottom line is you never really know. I for instance am a switch, enjoy both roles GREATLY, however in my everyday life I am a total alpha with an alpha job and combat training. I'm a gentleman and very polite but also very much a leader and from what I've been told God help the person who crosses me.

Some subs are "walk all over me, I'm a doormat" type subs while others (like me) are what I like the describe as "The Knight". We serve our queens with loyalty, honor, and obey them however if they let us off our leashes and point to something while uttering "Destroy" you better believe whatever they just pointed at will be dust in a matter of moments.

This almost mirrors me as well, and as at least several assholes have discovered, I am perfectly willing and able to end or ruin the life of anyone who tries to hurt or abuse my 'Lady'.