Honor system vs. wearing a device

Living the real life under lock and key
EDAS
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by EDAS »

I am not locked up, but I do enjoy NOT having orgasms. What I do enjoy is to give my wife orgasms -- three or four, sometimes more -- via cunnilingus (she will quite often masturbate at the same time). After this, I usually penetrate her. She may at this point have one or a few more orgasms, but not always. I, on the other hand, do not orgasm. I will in the end pull out, my c**k still hard, and allow my erection to subside. It is this whole process -- my giving her orgasms, my penetrating her without orgasm for me -- that I find terribly erotic.

I can then go to sleep -- and sleep well I do!
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thumper
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by thumper »

It's OK to say "cock". FYI.
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Mayhew
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by Mayhew »

Dev wrote: My husband tells me that it gives him great pleasure to give me an orgasm. He tells me that he's felt this way for years but I am not sure I totally believed it. I always thought he needed to have an orgasm to be satisfied. Now that he has been locked up and orgasm free for 6 weeks, I realize I was wrong.
D
This is really interesting.

I had been telling my wife for YEARS that I got great enjoyment out of her pleasure, and that in many cases my own orgasm was a bit of a sideshow.

Yet still, the idea persisted in her mind that all sex had to end with me having an orgasm otherwise I wouldn't be satisfied.

She was very relieved when I became chaste and she finally worked out that she didn't actually have to give me one at all, and that sex could end whenever she wanted.

Before that, it was like there was this strong, persistent image of male needs, and it stuck fast, even though the man in question kept telling her I wasn't really like that.

Of course, if she wants to give me a nice big orgasm for her own satisfaction, I'm all for it.

But if she's trying to make me come because she feels it is some kind of duty? Meh. I don't need that at all.
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EDAS
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by EDAS »

So... we are a number of males, it seems, who put our wife's or our girl friend's orgasm ahead of our own -- to a point where our (male) orgasm can be seen, by ourselves, as a side-show and little else. I am of this creed I guess (as I have stated in a previous message). As was Casanova who, in the 18th century, said something like this: "More three quarters of my pleasure is derived from the giving of pleasure to a woman"..
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Atone
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by Atone »

Mayhew wrote: But if she's trying to make me come because she feels it is some kind of duty? Meh. I don't need that at all.
I agree, that is the worst. I have had times with my wife where I could tell that was happening. It was a real turn off. In the past I would just stop and take care of myself by masturbating. It is much better now that we don't play that game.

-A
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Celtic Queen wrote: Some stuff works for some people, other stuff doesn't and you just have to adapt the lifestyle to what works for you both.

Unremarkable Jamie
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by Unremarkable Jamie »

Atone wrote:I am curious what makes your anatomy not conducive to trapped ball devices. ... You said the rings don't fit, not sure what that means. Too small maybe?
-A
Not to get too graphic about it, but those of us whose anatomy is "high and tight" don't have enough slack for the balls to hang comfortably below the rings. I have a very old CB-2000 and never could wear it because the "B" ring (the one connected to the cage, closest to the body) is too big. I could put on a small "A" ring, but without a smaller "B" ring, the effect is more about crushing (ouch!) than trapping.

I haven't seen a device with different size "B" rings, and the "the boys" are Houdini-like in their ability to slip through things after a while.

I suppose I should go over to the "devices" section and see whether there's any advice about all this, since *I'd* be interested in playing with such a device, even if perhaps it doesn't do much for my beloved.

Jamie
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Unremarkable Jamie
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by Unremarkable Jamie »

EDAS wrote:So... we are a number of males, it seems, who put our wife's or our girl friend's orgasm ahead of our own -- to a point where our (male) orgasm can be seen, by ourselves, as a side-show and little else. I am of this creed I guess (as I have stated in a previous message). As was Casanova who, in the 18th century, said something like this: "More three quarters of my pleasure is derived from the giving of pleasure to a woman"..
That's my experience. I wrote that it started as a submissive "trope" (as I seem to be more in to submission than many here). But as our sex lives have evolved to be more about her pleasure and less about my orgasm, I've found that it really is true. "A good time is had by all" and there's none of that post-orgasmic let-down for me.

Jamie
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Atone
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by Atone »

Unremarkable Jamie wrote: I haven't seen a device with different size "B" rings, and the "the boys" are Houdini-like in their ability to slip through things after a while.
That makes sense. You can get a custom made device with different size B rings. The problem would be figuring out what size A ring, B ring, and gap without having different devices to try. It is unfortunate that there is so much trial and error involved. That is the great thing about the CB series, you can make so many of those adjustments to at least get close. Unfortunately the are no adjustable B rings.

-A
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Celtic Queen wrote: Some stuff works for some people, other stuff doesn't and you just have to adapt the lifestyle to what works for you both.

David
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by David »

My wife and I have been using the honour system for about 6 months and it seems to work (no mishaps), but I sometimes wonder whether having a device would be extra fun, or whether it isn't worth the hassle people seem to have getting one that's comfortable, hygenic and reasonably secure.

To address the point about the constant reminder of the situation and as a guarantee of my commitment to the arrangement, I wear a steel cock ring all the time. We both enjoy this and it gives her a sense of particular ownership over that part of my body, being a form of intimate wedding ring.

David
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Atone
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by Atone »

David wrote:My wife and I have been using the honour system for about 6 months and it seems to work
welcome to the forum David. If the honor system is working for you then you should be happy with that and see where it leads. I can understand the concerns you have about fit, comfort, hygiene, etc.... Why introduce problems if they don't also add benefit? I think for many the idea of being locked, and the physical manifestation of that is what makes it really hot. Some also just wouldn't have the will power to not pleasure themselves.

For me the idea that my wife is in some way enforcing this is really hot. If it was only done verbally I think I would need her to remind me of that much more often to keep it fresh. I am pretty sure that wouldn't work for her, therefore it wouldn't work for me either.

-A
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Celtic Queen wrote: Some stuff works for some people, other stuff doesn't and you just have to adapt the lifestyle to what works for you both.

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