either or?

[happyman1]

I am curious as to what percentage do we men in chasitity practice submissiveness and what percentage of us are in chasitity and have an otherwise a vanilla relationship? I am in the latter. Though the missus holds the key, and all that goes with it, we are rather vanilla in the other aspects of our lives. She controls when/how often I get to orgasm but other than that, we are a pretty bland normal couple. No BDSM, just the chasitity aspects of our lives, which works for both of us. Thoughts?

[Tom Allen]

I think that you will find that this is the norm on this particular board, but we are a self-selecting group in that sense.

[RegularJoe]

Other than in the bedroom, or wherever else we engage in sex, I'm not submissive....it's not a 'female led household' by any means. Sexually though, my wife is quite dominant and aggressive...and employs plenty of BDSM elements in our love life. We both get what we need, I guess. She definitely controls my orgasms...though I'm not caged...and I have no trouble refraining from masturbation...though her periods of denial don't amount to much compared to you guys. Jerking off would be too big a risk...I don't know when she'll demand it...and I'd better be able to perform. Maybe a week T&D max...and by then she seriously needs hard cock (doesn't like a strapon as a substitute) as badly as I need to give it....if not more, despite almost daily oral gratification.

[locked4her55]

Though the missus holds the key, and all that goes with it, we are rather vanilla in the other aspects of our lives. She controls when/how often I get to orgasm but other than that, we are a pretty bland normal couple. No BDSM, just the chasitity aspects of our lives

Yup, That's pretty much us too!

[poor]

Chatelaine said today that chastity has introduced a vulnerability to my character that she quite likes. Apparently I can be 'a tough nut to crack' at times and can (still) bottle things up, which she has concerns about. I can also be very methodical and appear hard-hearted at times.

I have no issues with my submissiveness. It provides a counterbalance to the rest of my life and it works for us as a couple. Vanilla FLR is exactly what we do.

[kept4her]

Happyman1-Though the missus holds the key, and all that goes with it, we are rather vanilla in the other aspects of our lives. She controls when/how often I get to orgasm but other than that, we are a pretty bland normal couple. No BDSM, just the chastity aspects of our lives

You pretty much described our relationship exactly... to take the guessing out of it for my wife we came up with a dice game to determine my chance for a release. Other than that vanilla all the way, king size bed, snuggling is a option only when cold...lol

[TwistedMister]

Chatelaine said today that chastity has introduced a vulnerability to my character that she quite likes. Apparently I can be 'a tough nut to crack' at times and can (still) bottle things up, which she has concerns about. I can also be very methodical and appear hard-hearted at times.

That description could apply to me as well.

I have no issues with my submissiveness. It provides a counterbalance to the rest of my life and it works for us as a couple. Vanilla FLR is exactly what we do.

While not FLR by any means, and control technically limited to sexual activities and certain 'personal services', there *is* a subtle shift in the balance of power in every-day life. I tend to think more about my responses to words, actions and situations, and be more moderate in my reactions than I might be otherwise.

I'm also 'turned-on' by various kinks and BDSM, and consider chastity to be a form of bondage.

[RegularJoe]

My wife's take on FLR's is that it would, for her, just entail a lot more work...she doesn't want to take on additional responsibilities...paying bills, keeping track of family finances, etc. We always made major financial decisions together...and once made...it has been my responsibility to execute those decisions.

The whole FLR thing doesn't do anything for me, or her.

My wife is pretty kinky, but I think (in general) it's a good thing women's level of 'kinkiness' is less than most men's....women can ALWAYS find an outlet for sexual satisfaction. Over the years I've had a few acquaintances with extremely promiscuous wives....and it never ended well. Some had 'open' marriages, where basically all it meant was that the wife was hooking up constantly...and the husband was going without.

It's assumed, and largely true, that men think with their dicks....I'm glad that most women don't 'think with their clits'.

[luckylocked]

We too are pretty vanilla. She has taken control in the bedroom and occasionally will take control out of the bedroom, but really only for fun. Nothing important is controlled by chastity and she doesn't try and control my life.

I do certainly behave more submissively, but it would be fair to say mainly when it suits me. One thing she has done though is put the lions share of the daily chores onto me. As she pointed out though she had probably been doing the lions share before so this is pay back for me being possibly not as supportive as I should have been.

I do love watching her dominant side working its way out and she does like to assert a bit of authority now and then, but mostly I love the cheekiness she displays. We reached 6 weeks yesterday for me and her comment was telling me not to get too excited as I am not even half way yet. Then she joked that she couldn't even remember how many orgasms she had had in that time and how many more she would be enjoying till the end of January.

I felt pretty submissive then

[Anymouse]

I am curious as to what percentage do we men in chasitity practice submissiveness and what percentage of us are in chasitity and have an otherwise a vanilla relationship?

Our relationship is what my wife and I term the "Vanilla Female-Led Relationship."

Though I edit mommy porn erotic Romance novels (Fifty Shades of Grey is vanilla for my company), my wife has the head for running a household and financial system, I do not.

Our intimate lives would be considered (other than the chastity part) to be quite vanilla.