Didn't Want To Go Back In

[wishful4]

We are into another locked cycle since last Monday following an orgasm and a week unlocked. I was unlocked by my spouse yesterday for a lunch outing to our favorite Mexican restaurant with relatives. She is still adamant that I not wear my chastity device while driving and relock upon our return home. For some reason, I just didn't lock back up when I returned home. I don't know if I thought I would get a chance to wank(I couldn't with her here) or I just wanted to see if she would notice. She was involved in some projects and didn't notice until much later in the evening and insisted I relock then. We haven't talked about the occurrence but I'm sure it will be brought up sometime soon. I really do love wearing the device once I'm locked, but when I'm released, I am sometimes hesitant to go back in. I sleep in it every night with no problems. I guess the truth is, I feel like I'm doing this all by myself sometimes and I wonder why I'm doing it. It's a rotten attitude and I shouldn't feel this way, but I get in this rut sometimes even though I've been at this for a while. My spouse has come a long way with MC and I'm much too impatient and seem to always wish for more. Happen to anyone else? How do you defeat these "all about me" feelings even though you know better.

[Atone]

I'm much too impatient and seem to always wish for more.

no, that never happens to any of the rest of us.

[kept4her]

I can understand what your saying. Just like fantasies when masturbating, I think of things that soon as I orgasm I think back and say "no no, couldn't ever do that" but before hand I am thinking "oh yes please". I fear the idea that I might not want to go back in after a release. Specially when we are still working out the kinks and comfort for my wife. I think there will always be times where the idea of "I am alone" with the chastity will come up. I know some mornings when getting rid of the morning erection, I sit there on the toilet thinking, "why bother"...

It takes just a little time and my mind is back to the happier side of chastity but if my wife doesn't show interest or any comfort with the idea it would crush my focus and ability to really go back in.

I would say there are a lot of us here that have the same feelings you do and those of us that will find those feelings out.

[locked4her55]

if my wife doesn't show interest or any comfort with the idea it would crush my focus and ability to really go back in.

I'm very lucky here. Rarely a day goes by that my wife doesn't show me any attention, be it physical or verbal to let me know that she is still interested in this journey. Our 20+ year marriage was very good before MC but now she has stated that it's great and I agree. I get something I want and she gets more of what she didn't always get, an attentative and focused husband. Life is GOOD

[wishful4]

We had a discussion today about my failure to lock back up on our return home recently. She has decided that, each time we return home, I am to ask whether I am to immediately lock back up. If we are leaving again later in the day, she may allow me to remain unlocked as long as she is there. If she doesn't anticipate us leaving again she will tell me to relock and I am to do so immediately. It may seem a bit of a pain, but it will keep her in the game and that is a good thing. I have also asked her to reconsider joining the forum as a new keyholder. I'm hopeful she will give it serious consideration.

[Atone]

It may seem a bit of a pain, but it will keep her in the game and that is a good thing.

yes, that is a good thing.

I'm not clear though, is it your desire to be locked up when at home or not be locked up when at home?

I'm not suggesting you do this but my approach was a little different. When we started I only locked at home but not while out. When I came home I just locked up (as that was my desire). I would unlock before going to work but other than that I stayed locked unless she wanted me out. My goal was to make it "normal" to be locked up and not something that was discussed a lot. Then I just decided not to unlock one day before work and that was that. Been locked almost constantly ever since.

[wishful4]

I'm not clear though, is it your desire to be locked up when at home or not be locked up when at home?

Atone,

I prefer to be locked 24/7. It is my spouse that requires removal if we leave the house. She is not yet comfortable with me wearing the device in public. So, she unlocks me and I remove the device. However, I usually take it on myself to relock when we return home except for the episode I spoke of in this thread. It seems to become a part of you when you remain in it as I do. I miss it when I'm unlocked which made the occurrence so unusual.

[Anymouse]

Atone,

I prefer to be locked 24/7. It is my spouse that requires removal if we leave the house. She is not yet comfortable with me wearing the device in public. So, she unlocks me and I remove the device. However, I usually take it on myself to relock when we return home except for the episode I spoke of in this thread. It seems to become a part of you when you remain in it as I do. I miss it when I'm unlocked which made the occurrence so unusual.

My spouse was a bit concerned about it too. She is not anymore.

I started gradually with the idea, doing things like hanging laundry or mowing the lawn. Then such things as quickly popping over to the store in the car (it is only two blocks away and I normally walk, the point was to show I could drive with a chastity belt).

Eventually that lead to the first actual outing in a public setting, the village board meeting followed by the post-game show (the community centre/bar). That pretty much did it for her; she could see it was not a problem.

Then a trip with the dog to the vet. (That was sixty miles one way.) And most recently our concert in the next town over - and she forgot her keychain, which means she didn't have the key. On stage for ninety minutes. Her response when I placidly noted she'd left her keychain at home:

"Oops."

It has gotten to the point where she no longer thinks about the chastity belt (except when she wants it off for tease). Now it is more a part of me. She will occasionally reach out and grab my crotch, though, and say "mine." - James.

Last O: June 18 - sixty-eight days, with a promise of one on our anniversary, though the year was not specified.