This issue of Control

[mistress_lae32]

On the subject of Male Chastity.. Do you ladies who are keyholders.. find that you are more in control if:

1. You tell your SO, partner or husband that you will not have an orgasm for 10 days.. and he complies..

or

2. You lock on his CD device and say.. You Can't have an orgasm for 10 days - and of course he can't..

Is it the same level of control in both cases?...

Is verbal chastity more powerful than having to rely on a piece of steel or plastic for submission?.. I use submission as submitting to her wishes..

Would love to hear from the males too.. this wasn't meant as a ladies only questions.. sorry...

[Belle]

I think the verbal or "honor system" makes the control seem more prevalent. With a device in place you know that they have a physical barrier that may be attributing to the lack of orgasms. With no device, you know that the only thing stopping them is you.

[mikecb]

On the subject of Male Chastity.. Do you ladies who are keyholders.. find that you are more in control if:...

My personal opinion is that most chastity devices make orgasm more difficult, but not impossible. So, with respect to strictly orgasm control, I don't think the device significantly changes the ability of the male to orgasm if he really wants to.

That said, the device does a LOT of other things. It is an object on the man's genitals that is difficult if not impossible to remove without detection. For me, that's a big deal. It almost feels like "staking a claim" on the penis, as has been discussed in a separate thread.

Further, as a man, I personally find the wearing of the device very erotic. I'm generally more aroused, and conscious of my sexuality when I'm locked than when I'm not. At the same time, I have less ability to masturbate at will. So, I would imagine for the KH, this could enhance the sense of power. She has made the man more horny and excited, with no outlet.

I think a KH may also enjoy the sense of control/power in knowing that the wearer is inconvenienced by wearing the device. Perhaps he has to sit to pee, or has to hide the device at the gym. These might be little thoughts that provide joy to the KH.

From a male perspective, and as a willing wearer, I think being asked to wear the device makes me feel more cared about, and more intimately connected with my KH. Tease and denial makes that connection even stronger, though that seems so counter-intuitive.

I know some women on this forum have also posted about a sense of anxiety when the man is NOT wearing the device. So, in those cases, I suppose the woman is feeling less in control because their man is not locked up.

mikecb

[David]

I think when the honour system works for both partners it shows there is trust in the relationship and that the man has sufficient self control. To me there is something a little bit weak (sorry I don't mean to offend device wearers) about needing a device to avoid temptation. (I know really there are many more reasons for wearing a device than that.) It strikes me a bit like a gastric band for those unable to control their eating!

But that is interlectually. Emotionally I find the idea rather hot and so does my wife who hints that she might want to "imprison" my penis, so I might be joining the device wearers yet.

[Atone]

I don't mean to offend device wearers.

I'm not offended. I don't know if I could keep my hands off myself if I wasn't wearing a device. I guess I am weak.

This does bring up another point though - what do you desire to get out of being in chastity? In addition to being denied orgasm I am also denied all access to my penis. Well maybe not all access but there is really very little pleasurable access. There is no way I could get that without wearing a device. This is actually something that came about after we started with a device. A nice little add-on benefit.

-A

[Dev]

Wearing a device makes it explicit. To me, it's key to our chastity experience. I am one of those people who gets anxious when he's out of his device. That anxiety often manifests as grumpiness so he's pretty quick to put it back on.

D

[justplaying]

I agree with mikecb. I really find that wearing the device is erotic. It is a turn on, knowing that only me and my key holder know that I have it on. I also find that it makes me feel more submissive. I can't actually explain why. Maybe just the fact that I cannot get an erection while wearing it, or get any pleasure in touching it is a very powerful example of handing over control. I don't have he will power to not masturbate if my wife is not in the mood. Now it's not just my choice, it's really hers. That is really what I love the most...she now has control over my orgasm. It's not the same as being told, not now honey I'm not in the mood. Now I am forced to find something else to do and go on wanting it for as long as she wants. AND to make sure it does come (no pun intended, oh wait, yes it is intended), I do everything I can think of to win her approval and get her attention in a positive way. It is mind blowing for me. I have never experienced this in any of my earlier relationships.

[mistress_lae32]

Wearing a device makes it explicit. To me, it's key to our chastity experience. I am one of those people who gets anxious when he's out of his device. That anxiety often manifests as grumpiness so he's pretty quick to put it back on.

D

Interesting.. What causes the anxiety when he is unlocked??..

[Dev]

Interesting.. What causes the anxiety when he is unlocked??..

That's a good question. I am not entirely sure. The feeling that I don't have complete control? Whatever...I definitely feel anxious and not in a good way. But once I get his WM or JB back on and locked, I settle right down.

D

[Atone]

My wife has a little anxiety if she thinks the doors might be unlocked when we go to bed. I can only imagine how much more so if something as important as Ab's cock is left unlocked

-A