Doesn't like cunnilingus

[velcrofist]

How are you supposed to have a proper femdom relationship if she doesn't like cunnilingus?
I know there's other stuff we can do when the pene is imprisoned that she quite likes but I so love going down and I truly miss it. I've been with her for 15 years and I could count on one hand the number of times she's let me go the munch. I'm not happy at all with this situation but what's the point in me doing it if she doesn't like it anyway?

I'd never heard of a woman not liking it before I met her. Who the hell says no to a blowie anyway?

[TwistedMister]

Maybe she has a hangup about it being 'dirty'?

Have you ever asked her why she doesn't like it?

[hot_toddy_dog]

Hygiene, religious upbringing, unfamiliarity are some possible reasons, but more likely are over / under sensitivity, being uncomfortable about general appearance, smell, odor, etc and also importantly, previous expectations. Maybe a bunch of previous lovers went down on her and all told her she was disgusting. Maybe she wants you to fuck the shit out of her and you not wanting to do that makes her think she doesn't turn you on. Maybe she only gets off while smoking crack and bathing in goat blood.

Communication FTW. You'll never know if you don't communicate.

[practicinghetero]

Ask what does make her happy. For my princess, it's getting fingered while I tell her dirty stories about helpless damsels who are roughly taken by a cunning man or small groups of men.

I wish I could go down on her, but there's some over senstitivity that doesn't really make it workable, at least for now. I'm hopeful that we might find some ways, but i try to not get impatient about it or put pressure on her.

As long as she is getting what she wants in a way that steers the relationship...that's femdom.

Now, if you're not happy with a lack of it...that's a separate issue. You can talk it out, but frankly, chastity isn't a coupon. You can't trade it for something that she doesn't want. If it's a deal breaker for you, then its a deal breaker.

[Harry Haversackers]

I'm one too, who would love to give my bride orgasm after orgasm with my mouth, while locked up, but unfortunately, she just can't handle it. She tries, but as soon as my tongue touches her, it's over. She's just too sensitive to it. She does allow me to lie between her legs, inhale her musky scent, and nudge her lady parts with my nose, so not all is lost. Once in a blue moon, when she is crazy horny, she'll sit on my face, and ride me, but it happens sooo infrequently. If I do happen to get my face coated with her juices, I avoid washing it for as long as possible afterwards.

She is able to have some pretty spectacular orgasms from G-spot and breast stimulation, so getting her off while I'm locked up is still lots of fun for both of us.

[Tom Allen]

How are you supposed to have a proper femdom relationship if she doesn't like cunnilingus?

Maybe you could start by not assuming what makes a "proper" femdom relationship.

[celticqueens_sub]

She is the Domme not you. If she doesn't like, neither do you. A femdom relationship is about her not you. Adjusting your view to hers and serving her needs is how you have a "proper" femdom relationship. Whatever the fuck that is. Each and every relationship is different.

[velcrofist]

Thanks guys. Yeah, she doesn't have anything against it as such, and on those rare occasions when she does allow it she does enjoy it. She's just super-sensitive/ticklish as hell most of the time. I hadn't come across this before with other women I've been with and I read so much about "most women" complaining that their men won't do it or don't do it often enough so I was wondering how common it was I guess. Getting two responses above with the same issue in this particular forum could indicate it's actually quite common.

[poor]

Put me down for a Third on this.

When we used to do this Chatelaine would cum so hard that she'd lose control, sometimes pass out briefly, pull muscles and be sore for days afterwards. Great stuff you'd think but actually it scared her and more often as not it would be finished off by me entering her as she was done and riding her all the way to soresville. Who wouldn't want that?!

Since she took control we had one go at it and she had the chutzpah to literally kick me away at the salient point and threaten terrible things if I came anywhere near her for the next 5 minutes. Watching her bring herself down was something else but again the intensity (which I commonly seek from sex) had fried her. She likes to remain in control is probably the easiest way of putting it.

As to 'proper' femdom; you'll find that when you are doing stuff that isn't really your bag because it pleases her. Getting rid of all the exaggerations of the sexual media is just one of those challenges and it's a burden to all of us. My Dad probably didn't know what the female orgasm was, I fear my son may feel a failure if each of his mandatory fuckbuddies don't multiple-ejaculate!

[TwistedMister]

Mrs. Twisted says that if I've been there too long, bringing her to the edge and backing off too many times, she actually gets *less* sensitive (and then she's pushing my head out of the way and going at it with her fingers, hard and fast).

Alternatively, if I've gotten her off this way she becomes extremely sensitive *afterward* and pushes my head away...but, in this case, if I stay away from her clit for a little while and focus on the vagina itself for a bit the sensitivity calms down, then a gentle, gradual return to her clit gets her going again and she can get off one or more additional times.

Also, immediately after orgasm (before she's completely done), if I massage her thighs and belly it seems to intensify and extend her orgasm. She says it 'spreads' it throughout her body. Try it, she might like it.

I'm sure that not all women are the same , it's a matter of finding the patterns and techniques that work for her. Even Mrs. Twisted doesn't always respond the same from one time to the next, I just pay attention to how she is responding at any given time and vary my attentions to suit. You just have to get 'tuned in' to what's 'doing it' for her at the time.