[KHEmmi] Emmie's version

[KHEmmi]

Herbs has gone off to work today and I've gone tons of stuff to get done here at home.
It's miserable and raining so getting as many jobs as possible out of the way makes sense.
Herbi, warm and dry in his office, isn't missing anything interesting either.
A day of slog for both of us then.

He's still wearing his newest cage, the “small” HoD and is all settled with it. No problems to report.
He wore it a few days before his last release, and was straight back into it afterwards so, what it that, about 10 or 11 days now.
He'll be in it for a while longer yet.

When home, he is required to report any problems immediately and the same is true when he's at work.
On top of that, when he's at work, he has to send general status updates, morning and afternoon usually, just so that I know.

After telling me how his day was going (by text) and that he was about to go into a meeting, he added his first report of the day: “Cage fine, all secure and comfortable. Doing its job admirably”.
Nice to know that he's happy.

[KHEmmi]

Herbi has taken to his new little cage well. He openly admitted that it was comfortable and not causing any problems.
The only problem that I see is that he's over-thinking things.
Such as when he's next going to be unlocked.

I've not given him an end date.
But last time he managed 35 nights straight (but not in the new short cage).
Maybe he'd like to know how long it will be this time, but I've not said anything because, really, I haven't even decided myself.

He's right about one thing.
It will be longer than the 35 nights record.
Another 35 would take us to 12th August. Maybe I could push that into September without causing too much distress?

A whole calendar month without an orgasm would get the average down a bit.

I think it's time to settle down in that little thing, relax, and stop thinking about it.

[slave d]

Miss Emmie. Personally I think you are correct in not deciding on or providing a scheduled end date or unlock date. Scheduled cleaning dates if needed are fine but I for one am happiest locked without any expectations of unlocking. The idea imo is to concentrate on your needs and pleasure so those become much more important to him than his own. Men become very self-centred and that’s why many end up in chastity to stop excessive self pleasuring. Also anticipation is the greatest arousal and part of the journey in my view is to allow that anticipation to reach new heights by having no control or knowledge of the “end game”. Again it’s only my 2c worth but all your thoughts seem perfectly on track.

MsM’s ld

[KHEmmi]

Thanks for that, slave d.
You might call it only your 2c worth but I like to hear your thoughts. Plus those from everyone else of course.

Glad you think I'm on track. I feel lucky to have had good advice, but also I think luck has played a part in my decisions.
I've just gone with “what feels right” to me so perhaps my intuition, if that's what it is, has been right too.

I've got my own plan for cleaning and changeover (from one cage to another) dates, and also ideas (but not a final decision) for an end date.
Keeping those to myself for now though.
He's nicely focused on my needs these days, which of course, is lovely for me. Tough on him maybe? Third week and cage fever ahead perhaps.

Over the summer I'll be visiting my parents. Not sure when yet.
Herbi might be busy with work and have to stay at home.
I'll be leaving him locked of course, so there'll be none of that self pleasuring that you mention while I'm away. I wonder how he'll cope with that?

[Rufusstone]

Yes, I think it’s not important to focus on end dates because that’s not the point of the KH dynamic- the focus should be Miss Emmis pleasure, whether that is directly via orgasm or from the deep satisfaction that Herbie is completely focused on her.
Chastity and denial is a means to an end (although pleasurable in itself once accustomed to it).
Likewise, simply counting the number of orgasm she has before he can be unlocked makes it into a target again.
Herbie has enough information already- it won’t be before 35 days and might not be until September or later. That’s for MissE to decide, probably nearer the time.
His job is to relax about it and change his mindset so that her orgasms become his… many report that the sight of the KH having an orgasm is almost as releasing/exciting as having one themselves.
Having said that, it’s important that he is not “locked and forgotten “.
Miss Emmi needs to give him some attention too as he still needs a reward for his devotion- short term as well as longer term (such as release after 2 months).
There’s lots of suggestions available about that so I won’t dwell but common ones include nipple play, attempting to cum in his, cage, pegging etc.
And the converse, some sort of punishment for behaviour, is also important. Carrot and the stick essentially. Not necessarily adding days specifically except as a general admonishment otherwise it becomes date focused again.

[KHEmmi]

Yes, I think it’s not important to focus on end dates because that’s not the point of the KH dynamic- the focus should be Miss Emmis pleasure, whether that is directly via orgasm or from the deep satisfaction that Herbie is completely focused on her.
Chastity and denial is a means to an end (although pleasurable in itself once accustomed to it).
Likewise, simply counting the number of orgasm she has before he can be unlocked makes it into a target again.
Herbie has enough information already- it won’t be before 35 days and might not be until September or later. That’s for MissE to decide, probably nearer the time.
His job is to relax about it and change his mindset so that her orgasms become his… many report that the sight of the KH having an orgasm is almost as releasing/exciting as having one themselves.
Having said that, it’s important that he is not “locked and forgotten “.
Miss Emmi needs to give him some attention too as he still needs a reward for his devotion- short term as well as longer term (such as release after 2 months).
There’s lots of suggestions available about that so I won’t dwell but common ones include nipple play, attempting to cum in his, cage, pegging etc.
And the converse, some sort of punishment for behaviour, is also important. Carrot and the stick essentially. Not necessarily adding days specifically except as a general admonishment otherwise it becomes date focused again.

Thank you for your thoughts, which make interesting reading.
The little phrase “Chastity and denial is a means to an end” puts it in a way that I hadn't quite thought of it before but you're right.

I like the idea of not making targets of things.
It's reassuring to read that you think Herbi has enough information already. "At least 35 days" and "Maybe September" etc.

He will get positive attention too so definitely won't be “locked and forgotten”.

But now that adding days isn't really an option, as it doesn't make sense to add to an unknown end date, I am trying to think of other punishments. (I paused before typing that word feeling as if I didn't really want to use it, but that is what I am meaning. A punishment for behaviour issues)
I've used a riding crop on him a few times now, but don't want to make it a one-tool-fix-for-everything.
Carrot and stick.
I've got plenty of carrots, but what can be substituted for stick? Ideas will be welcomed.

[Rufusstone]

I think admonished for minor misdemeanours and punishment for something more serious? The distinction between those words might help you?
So touching his balls without permission, is minor but needs admonishment but might just be doing extra chores for a day.
Punishment for more serious disobedience requires the cane or something else actually painful (physical or psychological).
What punishment is involved depends on whether you are drawn to BDSM or not? Not everyone is and I am sure there are many variations that would suit you.

[ARK]

An old school punishment: stand in the corner and think about his inappropriate behavior.

[KHEmmi]

So touching his balls without permission, is minor...
Punishment for more serious disobedience requires the cane...
What punishment is involved depends on whether you are drawn to BDSM or not? Not everyone is and I am sure there are many variations that would suit you.

Interesting example of a minor misdemeanour - because I'm am still trying to cure him of that one.

As you might have read, we have a crop and a paddle from pre-chastity days. He used to use them on me for 'fun' so I know they hurt.
Not adverse to using the same, plus the cane option that you have raised, on him.

[Rufusstone]

Up to you of course, what you call minor…
Answering back aggressively, refusal, rude etc would be serious in my book.
Ball feeling only minor. But if he got caught, say three times, then maybe it could be three strikes and then proper punishment. Appropriately, might be ball spanking needed!