Tom Allen wrote: ↑
Thu Apr 09, 2020 4:37 pm
https://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/2008/ ... real-life/
Anybody can do it for a few days or a week, mainly because you’ve got the arousal to keep you going. Even if you’re not getting an orgasm – or even sex – for a few days, most men can deal with the little inconveniences because they’re focused on the mind-blowing orgasm that they’re expecting on Saturday night.
When you don’t know when you’ll be allowed out of the device, or even if you’ll be allowed an orgasm when you are, you no longer have something to look forward to “at the end of the week;” that arousal is no longer enough to keep you going, or to distract you from the little inconveniences and annoyances of wearing a device that squashes your wabbly bits into a small, confined space. Ever have a cast on an arm or ankle? Remember how annoying it was, how you couldn’t scratch when it got itchy, how you had to remember to wear accommodating clothes? That’s the same concept here: once you get over the “Oooh, I’m in a device!” rush of arousal, you have to figure out how to live with it, all day, every day.
Tom thanks for writing this. Its striking a lot of chords.
1 month in honor system chastity has already proven to be far different than i thought since my entire knowledge base was fap captions and my own imagination. Trying to wear a device for 2 days was extremely uncomfortable and not how i imagined it. I remain hopeful that diaing in a few adjustments will make long term wear tolerable. I trust myself to behave and honor my promise to my wife to not masturbate but my hope is a cage worn most of the time will make masturbating far too inconvenient to want to try. Of course a small padlock is easily cut off, but the hassle isnt worth it and i hope that will be enough to keep me submissive and chaste. All cages really are just enhanced honor system as they're all removable with determination. Just like the locks on our doors dont keep a truly determined home invader out...the just make it more difficult. A more realistic ideal is finding the device that makes escape too painful to want to try or just too inconvenient.
What you wrote about needs and communication really hits home. My wife and i have a good marriage and no trust issues so im not worried there. Where it has been tough though is that her life hasnt changed and mine has. It's awesome when we play and edge but when a few days go by where she has no interest in sex [like this whole period week for her] it has been much harder on me. Neglect is a good word choice and its not that she does it intentionally but a week with 0 touching whatsoever leaves me with feelings that fap chastity porn doesnt prepare you for! At the beginning of the week it was hot when she told me i will get zero touches this week but 5 days later and insanely frustrated it is a lonely feeling! And that says nothing about what could happen with stressful work weeks colds and flu amd just running our lives and family with kids and all that comes with them (schedules and sports and school obligations etc etc)
I do sincerely want chastity to be much more than weekend play. I want this to be a long term dynamic in my marriage. To me lifestyle is the right word but im realizing that to get there or [sincere play] is going to take a whole lot more resolve than anticipated. I like the challenge but can't underestimate it. Just a few days in a cage i realized i really do have to sit to pee. There are hygiene issues...and we are still in covid19 lock down. What will this really be like having to sit to pee at work...to go out for drinks with coworkers and have to sit to pee in a nasty bar bathroom...to go camping and not be able to piss in the woods without possibly spraying my pants? To have escape plans for an emergency? Etc.
There certainly are a zillion things to think about to make this a real thing and not just a weekend play fantasy. Luckily knowing i can be denied cumming for a month is a good first hurdle clearence but i suspect that's probably the easiest challemge to overcome especially if a device is going to be seriously used and enforced.
I really enjoyed your blog post though and wanted to express my gratitude as a newbie that its been very helpful and grounding.