Is It Ok For the Keyholder to Masturbate?

[Tom Allen]

Exit To Eden totally sucked as a movie, but oh Dana...

The movie played things for laughs, but the book was actually pretty decent.

[LadyDs_alex]

Exit To Eden totally sucked as a movie, but oh Dana...

Couldn't agree more! I had the hots for Dana Delaney before she played a dominatrix, but after. . . !

But yes, the movie sucked. It wasn't just that they played it for laughs. I don't mind a little of that, because sex in general is funny, and the more layers and complications you lay over top of just plain vanilla sex, the more potential for humor -- and passion, of course.

{I'm fond of saying that the only thing funnier than sex is death. This is why Stanley Kubrick's Dr.Strangelove is the funniest movie ever made. It is about everyone on Earth, er, um. . . dying. What could be more hilarious than that?}

But getting back to the movie Exit to Eden, the thing that bugged me the most about it, was that after Mistress Dana got the male lead character to embrace his submissive desires, (you will like it! I give you permission to like it!) they instantly turned into this boring vanilla couple. They left the island, went to some fucking bed-and-breakfast dressed in "normal" clothes, and the most intimate thing we saw them doing from then on was holding hands.

I'm watching this and thinking "What the hell?" What happened to Mistress Dana? You know -- the woman of his dreams, who unleashed his deepest desires? She just has to disappear now?

Sigh! Well maybe someday Hollywood will get S&M right. Which reminds me, did anyone see Fifty Shades of Grey? ( I haven't). If you saw it, what did you think? I tried to listen to it on Audible, but the writing was so godawful I gave up before I even got to the sex scenes.

[Tom Allen]

Dan Ackroyd and Rosie O'Donnell were so, so stereotypically uncomfortable that nothing they did seemed either funny or believable. Totally killed the boner... er, mood.

[carolina cyclist]

Sigh! Well maybe someday Hollywood will get S&M right. Which reminds me, did anyone see Fifty Shades of Grey? ( I haven't). If you saw it, what did you think? I tried to listen to it on Audible, but the writing was so godawful I gave up before I even got to the sex scenes.

MrsL and I watched it at home when it came out On Demand. It was boring and uneventful. Most of the S&M was "off camera" and left to the imagination. We won't be watching the other two.

[LadyDs_alex]

Dan Ackroyd and Rosie O'Donnell were so, so stereotypically uncomfortable that nothing they did seemed either funny or believable. Totally killed the boner... er, mood.

Oh yea, Dan Ackroyd and Rosie O'Donnell were in that movie too. That stupid sub-plot about. . . what was it? A jewel heist or something. I forgot.

I guess Mistress Dana was the only thing about that movie that I found worth remembering!

[nervous newb]

I had commented earlier, and this post had gotten me thinking of admitting to my wife that I was addicted to masturbating. We have been playing with chastity on/off for a couple weeks now. It was a tough conversation, I expected her to freak out on me and get mad at me.
What actually happened: She responded with "that's a very difficult thing to admit, and now I have to confess that while you were traveling a lot for work I was addicted to soft-porn and masturbating." I may have actually posted somewhere on here that my wife would NEVER do that! How wrong I was.
We talked about it for awhile, and I said I wanted to stop it (I had tried many times using many methods in the past except chastity.) We agreed it was bad if we were doing it sneaking around behind each other's backs. But it wasn't bad as long as we were thinking of each other and we knew it was happening - as in exactly when and where it was happening. So I asked if I could as long as I let her know, and she said no, she doesn't want to know if I am, and she doesn't want me to if I'm doing it without her knowledge, so she doesn't want me to ever again. I told her she could as long as I got to watch. She laughed, I don't know if that will ever happen, but I've been wrong before. She'd had me locked up for the long weekend for play, and when I told her that it was the longest I'd gone without masturbating since puberty, she helped us decide (read between the lines) that chastity WAS effective and we should use it to prevent me from ever masturbating again. (8 days and counting!)
Since we still have sex fairly regularly - before chastity it was once or twice a week, since chastity it's about every other day - I am contemplating the concept that I may be using sex with her as a substitute for masturbating now. So the concept is that orgasms by either party should be done with the pure motivation for mutual pleasure. If I'm just getting so horny (which I'm not very subtle about) that I mob her until we have sex, that still seems like a selfish motivation. I'm doing it for my pleasure, and even though she gets a few orgasms too, that doesn't seem to be what's motivating me to want sex with her. I feel like I'm pushing just because I get so horny after 48 hours that I get terrible cases of blue balls and can't function as a person. How is that any different from masturbation? My motivation is still the same.

[TwistedMister]

Since we still have sex fairly regularly - before chastity it was once or twice a week, since chastity it's about every other day - I am contemplating the concept that I may be using sex with her as a substitute for masturbating now. So the concept is that orgasms by either party should be done with the pure motivation for mutual pleasure. If I'm just getting so horny (which I'm not very subtle about) that I mob her until we have sex, that still seems like a selfish motivation. I'm doing it for my pleasure, and even though she gets a few orgasms too, that doesn't seem to be what's motivating me to want sex with her. I feel like I'm pushing just because I get so horny after 48 hours that I get terrible cases of blue balls and can't function as a person. How is that any different from masturbation? My motivation is still the same.

I suppose that the main question is- Is she enjoying the increased frequency? Does she want it to continue, or would she rather it didn't? You'll have to ask *her* about that, we can't tell you.

[Grizzly228]

Not to take your situation lightly, but I think you are over thinking it a bit. Sex feels good. Masterbation feels good. They can be independent of one another and that is fine. Often I would have sex with my gf and then masterbate after she left. Does that mean I'm addicted to it or that in cheating? I don't think so. They are both separate and good.

That being said on this forum when topics like chastity, denial, guided masterbation and masterbation supervision are common, it depends on how you feel. If masterbation feels like cheating but sex does not than you know what you should do. If you truly feel like sex is to make up for lack of masterbation and not for the sex itself, then maybe there is an issue. However I feel it's natural. There's always a tad of shame in masterbation even in the most open. I am allowed to masterbate as much as I want generally but cannot cum without permission so regardless what I'm looking at and fantasizing, my woman is always on my mind in some way. I do not feel it is cheating and neither does she. And all it does is make me more excited to see her and spend our quality time. That's how I've accepted it and I feel no shame and don't feel like an addict. But we are all naturally addicted to certain chemicals. I wouldn't worry too much about it and enjoy it.