[newbie] Starting again

[newbie]

Man that was a good read. Very detailed and heartfelt. You must be the most patient man in history. Not sure I could go that long. My journey is nothing like yours, but I just wanted to comment that your journey has been a wonderful read. I'm rooting for you man!

Thanks. I appreciate that. It seems that my patients might be paying off...

[newbie]

Major Milestone This Weekend!!!

My wife and I decided to go out on Friday night. We were planning on going to an event that was outside,
while it was still warm out she surprisingly decided to wear a pair of her high heeled black boots. She knows that I love her in boots, so because it was warmer out than she likes when she wears them, I had to think she was doing it for my benefit. She even asked me if I preferred them inside or outside her jeans...wow. Anyway, we went out and had a great time, eventually coming home and just going to bed. I had been unlocked so I decided it was best for me to lock up and not risk masturbating. We both fell right to sleep.

In the morning we both woke up at about the same time, I was laying in bed naked except for the Holy Trainer, and she had her pajamas on. This was the first time ever that I had been wearing my Holy Trainer while naked in bed with my wife, so I was thinking the whole time that I wasn't sure how that was going to be received by her. She got up and went to the bathroom, and when she returned she climbed into bed naked as well. It was obvious she was feeling horny, and I was too, so I made the decision to keep the HT on even though she has always hinted at or told me that I should take it off to fool around. This time, nothing. We started to kiss each other and it quicky escilated from there. I concentrated on her breasts since I know this is a real hot spot for her. She really enjoys having her breasts kissed and played with. She loves having them gently squeezed and fondled, and after a while she gets really going by having them more roughly handled almost like her being ravaged....I think I've mentioned that before in an earlier post.

I could feel her getting more and more turned on, and I was too, even though I was still locked in the Trainer. It was obvious that she was enjoying just laying there and having me do all the "work", and that make it even hotter. I was essentially servicing my wife and wasn't expecting anything in return. As things got more intense I reached down and could tell she was getting pretty wet. I played with her wetness for a while before moving down to perform oral. I love going down on her, and now it seems to have become our usual way for her to reach climax without me having the opportunity to do so. I was down on her for the longest time, and would listen to her breathing and moans to make sure I wasn't taking her to climax too soon. When I felt she close I would stop and slide up her body to enjoy the rest of her before going back down again. This whole time my Holy Trainer was pressing into her body, and sliding around as I repositioned myself, so it was obvious to me that she must be feeling it and was ok with that. She has complained about it "scraping" her before when we've been intimate...not this time, although I was trying to be careful about it. On a side note, for as turned on as I was I wasn't trying to get hard in the tube which I felt was a little strange, but I was certainly leaking my fair share of pre-cum.

This went on for a long time, bringing her to the edge and backing off. At one point I had slid back up so we were chest to chest and actually could tell that my Holy Trainer was rubbing against her vagina. I wasn't exactly sure what I should do at that point, but then I could feel that she was starting to grind against it. I think she was so turned on at that point that she would grind against anything, but I didn't want to venture into that realm of grinding my HT against her and end up souring things, so I moved off after a bit. I was really blown away by that, and it added to the intensity alot. I'm not sure if she knew she was doing that or not. It is a nice hard smooth surface to rub against so I wasn't concerned about it being painful or anything, but still.

When I felt the time was right I went down on her and stayed there until she came. She had a very powerful orgasm and she was really thrusting her hips and trying not to make too much noise. I stayed right in there until it was over and I knew she was done. She tends to get ticklish there after she cums so when she let out a little giggle I knew that was it. I slid back up as we both embraced each other and I told her how much I love her. After a few minutes of laying there together we began to play again. Within a few minutes I was back down in an attempt to bring her to climax again. Since I hadn't cum I had alot of energy and was still ready to go. I was down there for a while, and she was starting to respond again to me pleasuring her, but then I could tell that it wasn't going to happen and that going any longer would probably not be appreciated by her, so I stopped. I came back up and we started to just enjoy each other when I felt her hand slide down between us. As I rolled away from her slightly I felt her hand reach down between my legs.

She was actually reaching down there knowing I was locked in the Holy Trainer!!!!

My mind was switching between "this is soooo hot" to "she knows I'm wearing it, right?" Sure enough her hand slipped down to the underside of my device and she started fondling my balls. I couldn't believe it! Here is my wife who at one time told me that the whole thing turned her off and she wanted nothing to do with it...now she is reaching down on her own and playing with the only part of my manhood that she could actually touch. I was so excited to reach this point. I was in heaven. It felt so good, and I slowly rolled over on my back to make it easier on her. She continued, and I allowed myself to enjoy it, This went on for a few minutes, but I never tried to get hard or obviously never came. When she felt that it had gone on long enough she simply got out of bed and put her pajamas back on. Leaving me laying there after she left. I was laying there thinking about what just happened.

The rest of the weekend went on as usual, and she did seem especially tender toward me on a few occasions over the next couple of days. Sunday morning, which tends to be our usual "fooling around" morning was fairly uneventful, but it's worth noting that I was locked (of course) and began to initiate things in bed when she wasn't really responding, and then gave me the little pat of the hand (or little kiss, can't remember right now) and climbed out of bed and left to start the morning.

This is worth noting that in the past she has always been concerned about making sure I cum when we make love, almost like it's her obligation as my wife to make sure I do and if I tell her that I don't want to cum (which I have done before as an attempt at orgasm denial) she seems hurt or offended. This past weekend she had one of the most intense orgasms she's had in a long time and knew that I was locked in my chastity device and even though she had gently played with my balls, that I didn't even come close to cumming....and she didn't seem to be that concerned about it. This is so hot. I know that in the past she would want me to unlock so she could either perform oral or give me a handjob, but now she got what she needed and was satisfied with that. She also isn't concerned about getting PIV sex anymore it seems, and is perfectly happy being orally satisfied. I still haven't cum yet, and it's been 29 days since I last did, and that was a HJ.

One thing on Sunday afternoon, we had to get around and leave in the afternoon so I went in and took a shower. I made the decision to leave the Trainer on instead of taking it off for cleaning, so when I got out of the shower I was naked with just the HT on. While I was standing there she came in the bathroom with her usual "are you naked?". She saw me standing there and I assume noticed the device locked to me, and didn't bat an eye stripping down and hoping in the shower. We chatted some before I finished up and left.

It was a great weekend!!!!

[newbie]

One thing I have to mention is that there seems to be a real change in the dynamic between my wife and I. Definitely in a good way, but hard to say exactly what it is. My wife and I have always been close, but like any marriage we've had our ups and downs. Since I've been going down this chastity path it seems like we've become much closer and I've become much easier to live with. I seem to be a lot calmer and not nearly as excitable as I use to be.

I think when I first started chastity it was something that I knew I really wanted to try, but was pretty sure my wife would never go for it..........and sure enough she didn't. In fact if you read my earlier blog entries I had tried once a long time ago with my wife telling me she wanted nothing to do with it in no uncertain terms, and then she told me the same thing again when I tried it more recently after I had purchased a new device after throwing away (for the second time) my previous ones. In all I've thrown away a CB6000, CB6000s, HT V2 Standard, and HT V2 Short. Currently I'm in a HT V2 Standard Black device, 40mm ring.

As you can see I was conflicted where as I wanted to become more involved in chastity, but on the other hand I felt sort of like there was something wrong with me for wanting to do it. When I approached my wife she was totally put off by it so that only confirmed that maybe there was something wrong with me. I kept at it, and even after I confronted her again about my desire for chastity I at least came away with a "I don't care if you do it but I want nothing to do with it". You have to take that as a small victory in itself. From there I kept at it, being as patient as I possibly could, and then would have more communication with my wife when I felt the time was right. At that point she had moved to the "I know you wear it, and I'm ok with that" stage, and then eventually to the point where I wear it every night and have even had sex with her while wearing it and she voluntarily interacted with my balls while locked up...surely touching the device (see my previous post). She sees me in the device, she feels the device, and she sees it on an almost daily basis. This is huge for us, and I don't want to mess it up. I am so much more relaxed now since it is all out in the open and I don't have to hide anything.

See I have a tendency to push things or get too smothering when I haven't had it in a while. As of this writing I haven't cum since August 23rd so I'm pretty horny right now. I can tell I'm being a little smothering and clingy when we're in bed together so I have to watch that. This is what I wanted, so it's time for me to act that way. Like I said, we do much more cuddling and spooning in bed now, we both go to bed at the same time instead of me staying up later, and we touch each other more when we are near each other during the day which is important since she was never a very affectionate person. That was just how her upbringing was, so for her to rub my back or hold my hand or any of those thing is big, and she is doing much more of that. She seems to be coming out of her shell I suppose, and becoming more comfortable with her sexuality.

[newbie]

Today marks ONE MONTH since my last orgasm.

My balls are quite sizable now, and every once in a while I will leak a little bit of precum, but I feel I can go a lot longer and am looking forward to that.

[newbie]

Hello again... I'm back.
I've been gone for a long time but it's good to be back.

Just a quick update, back when I was last posting here things were progressing quite well (at least I thought so) but then came the day when my wife once again told me that she didn't want to be a part of the whole chastity thing and that once again it turned her off and she really didn't want to be around it anymore.

I should have know this was coming. She's told me this once before, or twice actually. I have to understand that even with all the benefits she was seeing she still didn't want to be an active participant in my chastity. So I once again put everything away in a drawer and forgot about it, until recently.

I once again got the urge to take the Holy Trainer back out and start wearing it part time. I swear this chastity thing never gets out of your system completely and it seems that everytime I think I'm over it it comes right back once again.

I have no idea how this is going to go, but I have made the decision that I am not going to think about anything involving my wife as some sort of keyholder, and it's not going to be a "how many days can I wear this thing" sort of contest anymore. It's going to be strictly part time, no participation required on her end, and will serve more of just a turn on from wearing it and a masturbation deterrent.

So I began wearing it once in a while, maybe for a day or two, and then not for a day or two. I wear it at night mostly and occasionally all day at work. I'm trying to be discrete about it so as not to make my wife mad or shock her that I'm wearing it again, but the other morning she did see it on top of the shower door while I was taking a shower. She had come in the bathroom to put towels away and we were talking thru the glass. I know she saw it when she made a "hmmm" sound as she turned around. We did keep talking as I was trying to get a feel for her mood after that. She seemed fine, nothing out of the normal.

I breathed a sigh of relief and we went about our business. This was Friday, and we both get every other Friday off from work so we were home by ourselves. We had lots of things to do together that day so we both got around and headed out. Over the course of the day ( I remained free all day) I noticed that we were getting along fine and in fact later in the day we were at the local mall wandering around shopping and she began holding my hand as we walked, which she rarely does. Maybe this is coincidence but it was nice either way. As we finished up she told me that it was really nice spending the day together and she had a good time. That was really nice to hear.

Over the course of the weekend she was in a good mood and would tend to barge into the bedroom or bathroom when I was getting dressed or out of the shower and blurt out "are you naked??" and laugh. There would be the occasional back rub or touching through out the weekend which in itself is somewhat rare.

I'm sure none of this had anything to do with her seeing my device, and I had completely forgotten about it for the most part, but when she would do these things to me I was pleasantly surprised and then would remember her seeing the device and wonder.

I've been wearing it mostly at night, and don't believe she's felt it or anything even though we've been spooning a little more than usual.

This morning I did the same thing with washing it and putting it on top of the shower door and while I don't think she came in while I was in there the bathroom door was ajar and there seemed to be her towel hanging on the shower hook directly under where I put the device to dry. Maybe this happened before I placed it up there, or whatever, but she was still in a good mood this morning.

I look forward to more entries in my "journal". Thanks for reading.

[newbie]

Things are pretty much where they were last time I wrote here, which is pretty nice actually. Like I've said, I am approaching this latest session of chastity use a little differently. It's way more casual in that I am self locked and only lock up when I feel I need to, which is actually more and more, and it doesn't involve any participation on my wife's part. So far so good with this. I'm sure she knows I wear it on occasion, but I don't always have it on, so that probably makes it easier for her to go along with. One thing I tend to do is ramp up things too fast and push the envelope as to having her become more involved. I'm trying really hard to not do that this time, while also not hiding it from her. It's a bit of a balancing act actually.

So while the situation between my wife an I remains pretty vanilla, I did make the decision to try for more successful prostate milking. This has always been something that's interested me and I find hot, so I've been doing it for a while with somewhat limited success. Not much in the way of flow, just a few dribbles, and I think that has a lot to do with the instrument I'm using. In order to try and get more to happen, I made the decision to buy a dildo. I went to the local adult store and bought a nice 5 1/2" version that is very realistic and comes with a suction cup on the base. I also bought lube because I'm sure I'll need plenty.

I tried it out the very night I bought it after everyone had gone home with limited success. While I thought the 5 1/2" would not be an issue, I realize it's going to take some practice to get use to something that large.
There was no success in the milking department, but overall I would have to say I know it's something I can work toward with this new toy. Eventually I would love to achieve a full anal orgasm, but I'm sue that's a long ways off. I think the next time I play I'll do it only when the house is empty as I was pretty nervous this time and would stop every time I heard a noise, even though I was in the bathroom with the door closed.

We head out on vacation this Friday, so my HT will be staying home until we get back, which will be after 10 days. I'm not sure how much sex we'll be having since we are traveling with the kids and the accomodations might not be ideal, and then shortly after we get home my wife is going on a business trip for a few days.

It might be a long February.

[newbie]

Ok, I'm back from vacation. We had a great time, and being together as a family is always nice. Unfortunately that usually means no real opportunity for any intimacy between my wife and me. I left my Holy Trainer at home since I knew we'd be busy and I didn't want to risk someone (kids) seeing it in my suitcase or something. Anyway, we had a great time. Now it's back to the normal schedule.

So after we had been home for a while and unpacked I couldn't resist anymore and put the HT on. It felt great to wear it again. I love the "bondage cuddle" as it's been called by others and enjoyed wearing it again. I knew I was exhausted from the travel, and was worried that if I kept it on all night I might not be able to sleep well enough, so in the evening I took it off and put it away.

Later in the evening the whole family went to bed, except for me, and I found myself once again starting to pleasure myself. It had been a week since I had last cum. The last time was from a bj from my wife, which is usually quite rare for her but the last two times I've cum were from her giving me oral. At any rate, I was edging myself over and over when I knew if I kept doing it I would have an accidental orgasm so I finally quit. It was late and I was heading to bed, but at the last minute I decided to put the device back on for good measure. It was hard to put on since I was still somewhat swollen from edging but I managed to get it on and went to bed.

A few hours later I woke up and discovered a wet patch in my underwear and got up to investigate. There was a wet spot about the size of a 50 cent piece that hadgone thru my underwear and had gotten the inside of my pajama pants wet. It seemed to be precum as I didn't see anything other than liquid there, and the tip of my penis still had it there. I went back to bed and in the morning I didn't have anything additional but the original patch had now hardened, so not sure if it was cum or precum.

I've never had an event like that wearing the device, but I have to believe it had something to do with edging myself just before going to bed.

[newbie]

The last few day have been pretty uneventful, which is actually an ok place to be. I've been wearing the HT more that not, so that's good, and am trying to get back to the point of not worrying about if she knows I'm wearing it again. This morning I waited until she had gone into the closet to pick out an outfit before I took the device and put it away instead of doing it while we were both facing each other and chatting.

Last night I made a point to settle into her backside in traditional spooning fashion every time I felt her role over. I just love settling in close to her ass and wrapping an arm over her. Feeling her warmth and my cage rubbing into her. I could feel the blood flow increasing inside the cage, and some rising and falling of the device as I became more turned on. I have no idea if she felt the device or not, but I do know she enjoys being held like that, so that's all that matters.

Today I'm going unlocked at work, mostly because of my choice of work clothes and for my situation there really isn't a need to be locked at work. Nights and evenings are really when it's important to eliminate the possibility of masturbating. As of this morning it's been 9 days since my last O.

[newbie]

I know my posts aren't all that exciting, especially compared to some on here, but it's good for me to be able to document my journey with chastity, the ups and the downs.

Yesterday I was locked at work, and by the end of the day things had become somewhat uncomfortable, so shortly after I was home I removed the HT and put it away. We had a normal evening and as it started to get late my wife mentioned that she was tired and would be going to bed soon. I told her I was thinking the same thing to which she replied something like "you can't be tired yet, why don't you relax and stay up for a while", which was a little unusual but on the other hand she tends to be one to go to bed early and I'm not, so in a way I think her comment was based more on she not wanting me to go to bed just because she was going.

Anyway, I found myself up alone after everyone went to bed, so I did what probably most guys would do, I got on the computer. I'm not sure if some of you know, but I've been having problems getting erections when intimate with my wife (without the device obviously) and have been working on correcting that. I'm pretty sure I don't have ED since I do get powerful erections at night and I've heard that's a way they might test for ED. At any rate, I've been doing more of a self-edging process of late and it really seems to be making a difference. I'll play with myself until I get hard and then stop, and will repeat the cycle over and over. It's not long before my erections are rock hard and throbbing with significant pre-cum showing up. I din't necessarily have to be watching anything sexy on tv or the internet, and have been making great strides not to watch as much porn on the computer. It can happen just using my imagination or whatever. As I said, I got on the computer and did some of my "training".

As it got late I decided I better head for bed. I wasn't sure if I should self lock or not, but figured if it worked out then I would. As I went in the bedroom my wife was asleep. I tried to be quiet and turn on just enough light to see. She sort of woke up and asked what I was doing. Just coming to bed I told her and with that she rolled over. I got my device out, but putting it on would be tough until my swelling went down so I just put it aside. I woke up later and put it on and went back to sleep.

This morning we were both in that zone between asleep and awake, and we settled into each other. It was nice and warm in bed and she had her back to me with her legs bent so I slid over and pressed my body into hers, pushing my crotch firmly into her ass. I wrapped my arm around her and held her close. It was great and I could tell she was enjoying it. I could feel myself getting hard in the device, and it felt great trying to extend it as it would make the cage rise and press more into her ass. I began to repeat this over and over, and I knew she had to feel it and most likely could feel that it was a hard material and could also probably feel the bulge of the lock. This went on for a while, and then the alarm went off. She got up and hit the snooze and came back to bed. We basically picked up where we left off. Eventually it went off again and this time I got up, shut it off, and came back to bed. As we lied there for a few more minutes in the same position, me still pulsating down below, she finally said "ok big guy, we should probably get up" and with that we got up.

As I was getting up, I couldn't help but focus on the "big guy" comment. While it's probably innocent and meaningless, it might not be. Maybe she felt the device and knew what she was feeling, or maybe she thought it was just me. Either way is fine, but we've spooned like this before, and I don't remember a time in our 19 years of marriage that she's ever called me "big guy" like that. It was hot for sure, innocent or not.

[cycling2work]

nice to read your journey.
Isn't it interesting how if you didn't come for a while spooning is fun and erotic. Can't remember it being that way when i used to do it myself 10x times a week.....