mykey wrote:Also I hate that term alpha male, as though somehow a beta male is less valued or respected.
I hate lots of terms although sometimes they are the easiest to use, just for convenience sake. I understand that people may use a term as shorthand and it doesn't fully reflect what they believe/are experiencing.
We have a bunch of unsatisfactory terms to try and communicate a very complex emotional process and roles. The term "submissive" is imbued with real negative connotations which equate with "inferior" or "wimpy" etc.That's why you hesitate to proudly pin on the label just as I think that without further illustration, people might assume that being my husband's Domme makes me some kind of cold uber bitch (yeah, OK, I have my moments..). We lack a decent lexicon to subtract something rather pure, fine and loving out of the murk of porn and negativity.
That's always the struggle when communicating over the Internet. You lose all of the connotations of facial expressions and tone of voice, and then toss in a multicultural bunch of readers, all of whom have different ways of saying things, and will read different things into what is said.
To get back on topic, there are so many different ways to do things, as many as there are people doing them. To someone used to running the women in their lives, a relationship that's merely equal might seem like FLR. It all depends on where you're observing from.
It seems ridiculously hard to define terms in this area, though.
michaelnmelissa wrote:Dev's post kind of tied into something that's been going through my mind lately: is male chastity unmanly?
I must admit that one of my fears is that Melissa will eventually see me as weak for wanting her to control me in this way. I think, what if she finds me unmanly? What if she ends up wanting a man who won't let her control him? A man that will make her want to submit to him sexually?
The cuckolding fantasy is not mine. I know it is for others, but having been betrayed by my first wife while I was in the service I know how it would absolutely crush me.
So, guys. Do you ever feel this way? Ladies, do you ever, even for a moment, think of your man as unmanly because of MC?
Thanks,
Michael
Hi Michael... I wrote a blog entry on this sometime ago on a different site. I recently moved it to our own site, it might address some of your thoughts? It doesn't cover all the specific points you make, it is a bit more general, it might help?
In summary and in my opinion, MC doesn't make you less manly or masculine at all. I don't know your circumstances... but I have given my wife the greatest gift I can. My submission and fidelity. Our marriage is sacrosanct to us both and is unique to us and how we live it. MC. It takes trust and bravery, both masculine traits I think?
michaelnmelissa wrote:Everyone has such good thoughts and comments about this. I appreciate your helping me think this through. CQ's Sub - I'm going to check out your blog.
Michael
I hope it adds to the colour of your views
Owned and loved by Celtic Queen. Her perception is my reality.
if a male is manly or masculine without chastity, he will be manly and masculine in chastity.
If a male is not manly without chastity, chastity will not change that, although it might mask it.
Being sub or Top does not play a role in that. It is just a mind-set that comes along with it.
i think that it has to be distinguished between the character and the circumstance. While the circumstance might influence a character, it cannot change it radically. And if manly before, entering the chastity lifestyle will not change that. If a weakling before, chastity will be just a joke or excuse for being unmanly before also.
"Right, now I've got you in that thing you're going to go down the bar to bitch about work, watch football when you come home and fall asleep on the couch. Then tomorrow you're going to work on your handicap at the pitch and putt and I'm going to loosen some screws while you're out so I can watch you fix stuff when you get back."
"That's staying on until you win Mr Universe".
Two quick alternates to consider but if chaste and manly is what you are looking towards, we all pail next to the fella who was enjoying the sensation of a machine drive belt on the underside of his nutsack in his lunch break, got them ripped off when they caught on a pulley, picked up a staple gun, tacked his sack back together and went back to work. If they'd had stainless staples the world may never have heard of him as he only sought attention when it started to fester.
poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another
