I've been riding for 30 years, worked in the business, managed a bike shop and raced for that shop for many years, but I still dont really know what a "crotch rocket" is. I havent heard "rice rocket" used since the 80's, but it used to mean anything made in Japan, usually smaller and often a 2 stroke. I did have a 72 Kawasaki 350 triple 2 stroke at one time. That was a rice rocket! I've owned over 30 bikes and ridden a number of cruisers, and I just cant do the riding position. For me, it compromises my ability to feel what the bike is doing and my ability to steer and corner the bike beyond a slower pace. I'd love a cruiser as a 2nd bike though, as I now live in the country and there's some hilly, scenic and fairly straight roads that suit slowing down and having a look around. Honestly, I dont find my bike at all uncomfortable. The riding position is pretty much the same as a dirt-bike, and gives the same sort of degree of control that, that style of bike allows. When we go on trips, I swap to a touring seat (a bucket 2 up, by Russell day-long. Great seat.) and put the hard bags and trunk on. I cant do low bars, because of carpal tunnel, so I run a set of taller dirt-bike aluminium bars (with heated grips for cold weather...great addition) that are low by cruiser standards, but still give good feedback from the front wheel. I'm in my mid-late 40's and find it a great bike for day/weekend trips.
I have owned a number of bikes that were pretty serious vibrators. I've even had a few women passengers "get off" while sitting behind me. One was 20 years ago, and I still wonder if she knows that I noticed! It would be a whole new experience to have a passenger enjoying the vibrations while the rider just gets a bit envious!

Living with my 2 favorite people, in a semi-poly situation. Serving my Mistress Crosby, who holds my keys.