[Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

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Chosen_Jackal
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[Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

Post by Chosen_Jackal »

It’s Saturday the 18th of January as I’m writing this, the first of what I hope to be many journal entries about this new path ahead for my key holder, A, and my self.

We’re less than one week into our journey, but we have close to two decades together as a couple already and she still amazes me regularly.
I don’t think she’s even thought of anything like this until I told her that I bought a chastity device along with some other sex toys we’d agreed upon ordering. Just for fun I said.
She didn’t say much.
I laughed it off like a dork.

I realize how crazy it must’ve been for her to first hear from me about ordering the cage and then me giving her the keys to it after I put it on.

Looking back I realize how completely wrong I went about it. I should have sat down with her and explained that I have a desire that I’ve always been too embarrassed to talk about, but I want to share it with you. She couldn’t have known that it’s something I’ve felt drawn to since I first discovered the idea of male chastity a few years back because I never mentioned it to her.
I was afraid she’d think less of me and be less attracted to me.
I know her better than to think that she’d make fun of me or call me weird because she’s an amazingly kind and empathetic woman, but I was afraid of it still.

I’ve been going through a phase lately where I’ve realized I’ve been missing something. I’ve dealt with a lot of anxiety and issues dealing with self worth and body image.
I might get more into this in later entries here.
What I do know for sure though is that when I put the cage on it felt right.
Just right.
I was aroused by the the idea and act of doing it, but I was also calmed.

So I went to her, A, and gave her the keys.
She didn’t really react much but took them and asked me if this was something I was really interested in doing. I said I think so and asked her what she thought.
She said she needed time to think about it.
I read how someone else on this site had given his wife a copy of Male Chastity by Lucy Fairbourne, so I bough a copy of it as an audio book on Apple Books and gifted it to her.

She listened to it the next day and said we needed to talk after work.
We often walk the dog together in the evenings as it’s one of the few ways we find time to talk without any disturbances and we enjoy this time together.
She had prepared a list of questions for me that showed me that she had give the thought of holding my keys a lot of consideration.
She said she wasn’t entirely sure it’s what she wants, but the thought was appealing and she saw many positives.
She also told me that if we’re going to do this then she needs to be free to do things her own way.
I replied to that with saying that I respect and want that as well. I have several ideas about what I’d like to happen but I’m going to try to keep them to myself and let her find out on her own what she gets out of this.

That was Monday.

We have eased into this new dynamic in ways I never thought I’d experience.
I feel closer to her than I have in years.
She enjoys the attention, the extra effort I’m putting into our household chores and how the orgasms… she REALLY enjoys the sex and she takes great delight apparently in seeing me struggle with the lack of release. I assure her that I enjoy the denial and serving her. I would honestly rate the sex we’ve had over the last five days as some of the best I’ve ever had. I’ve sacrificed physical pleasure for emotional and mental ecstasy!

She isn’t interested in being dominant in our everyday life it seems. At least not yet.
We have teenagers at home so it’s not exactly lots of opportunities to practice this kind of dynamic outside the bedroom anyway.
She did give me one penalty day in the cage however because I stupidly broke one of her few rules almost immediately.
She isn’t comfortable with me being without the means to safely remove my cage quite yet so she insists that I keep the spare key in an envelope in my bag that I bring to work.
I of course forgot to do so almost immediately and then the an incident happened. One of my testicles slipped out of the base ring and I couldn’t put it back in so I had to pull the entire cage off.
I called her immediately and explained what happened and she wasn’t happy that I had ignored her rule. Consciously or not.
So when I got back home she told me she’d initially thought of releasing me on Friday but since I broke her rule I’d have to wait another day.
I apologized sincerely but was also extremely excited about this.

She did decide though as the clock passed midnight that I’d been such a good partner, caring, attentive and exceeding her expectations in every other aspect that I was to be released and be granted an orgasm.
She gave me a handjob and I had one of the most powerful orgasms I’ve ever experienced in my life.

Now I’m locked back up. She got her period today and she generally doesn’t like any sexual activities until it’s passed and I don’t expect to get any until she’s had her way first. So a week maybe?
If we discount the eight or so hours I was out of the cage at work on Wednesday I was locked up since Tuesday morning until Friday night.

I’m really looking forward to seeing where this takes us. I feel more at ease and full of love towards her than I think I’ve ever felt , and she seems to enjoy this too.


I know these journey posts are supposed to be light on people chiming in and responding, but I’d really appreciate the input from others. Especially more experienced people. I’m not too proud to heed the wisdom of those who’ve walked this path longer than myself.
I’m locked and kept by Redraven, my life partner, soulmate and loving key holder. When life is hard, she’s keeps me feeling loved.
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denied_one
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Re: [Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

Post by denied_one »

Sounds like a great start to me!
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Re: [Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

Post by Chosen_Jackal »

Currently 07.20 in the morning and I’m feeling a mix of relief and annoyance. Relief that there was only two painful nighttime erections that woke me up, and annoyance that they’re back after a few relatively gentle nights.
I guest that’s how it’s going to be when A grants me an orgasm less than 30 hours earlier?

Wait a minute. Does more frequent orgasm mean more nightly erections? So is A doing me a favor if she adds more time between my allowed orgasms?
I’m genuinely torn on this.

Yesterday was wonderful though.
A is on her period and she’s often somewhere between in pain and severely annoyed this early on in the cycle.
I got up before her as I always did and was determined that she would wake up to a house that felt clean and taken care of and I did a god job. She said so herself and was in a good mood.

We spent a lot of time together and a few things stuck out to me during the day.
She mentioned that she feels closer to me, not just physically but also emotionally over the last few days.
She seems genuinely relaxed and happy and she is acting more affectionate towards me. I’m so happy that it’s not just me that feels this way and I’ve expressed my gratitude to her several times yesterday.

There’s also two other small changes in her behavior that I feel pleased about. I know it’s not about my happiness but hers, but I’m pretty confident that I’m allowed to feel good about the changes that affect us both.
She’s more comfortable with just telling me what she wants.
She’s the kind of person that usually says please every time she asks for something, and she’s still doing that a lot of the time, but I noticed that she was less afraid of just telling me what she needs or wants.
Like lots and lots of foot rubbing since her feet often ache while she’s on her period.
Likewise she’s gotten more comfortable just staying on the sofa with her coffee and audiobooks while I do housework. She’s usually jumping up to help if she sees someone doing chores, but she seemed content to let me take care of most of them yesterday.
I love it.

I have no idea how long I’ll be caged up for this time.
Last time was four days and it went better than expected.
She casually said that two or three days seems far too short so I know that I’m looking Thursday at the earliest.
I’m not sure what I dare hope for though because her period usually lasts about a week and I somehow don’t see her letting me out for anything else than hygiene during that. So Friday? Saturday? A week in other words?

She’s also usually never interested in being touched or doing anything sexual during her period but as we went to bed last night she seemed so sweet and affectionate. She stroked my balls and said poor thing to my cock and kept teasing me for a long while as my cock strained against the cage hopelessly.
She then decided to grind her clitoris against my knee for a long while before she grabbed her vibrator and had what seemed like a great orgasms as I held her tight in my arms.
She fell asleep quite fast and I was in pain. The good kind of pain.
I felt so happy to be able to just focus on her pleasure.

She’s exceeded every expectation I had and I’m just filled with a sense of gratitude over how lucky I am to have a partner like A who is willing to walk this journey with me. I can’t wait to see what comes next.
I’m locked and kept by Redraven, my life partner, soulmate and loving key holder. When life is hard, she’s keeps me feeling loved.
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Re: [Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

Post by ARK »

Looking at the time difference, you must live in Europe.

Like reading your journal
WPS
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Re: [Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

Post by Chosen_Jackal »

Yes we are indeed in Europe. I feel comfortable sharing that we’re from Norway actually. I’m glad to hear that you enjoy reading.


Some random thoughts and experiences from the first seven days of wearing the cage.

I thought I knew what it meant to be aroused before.
A few days in the cage has shown me that I’ve never even been close to being this horny before. I can’t imagine how it’s going to feel after a longer time.

I’m a masochist. The frustration of not being able to do anything about my hornyness makes me crave being close to A. Her gorgeous body lies beside me in the bed and I creep close to her to feel her against me. It makes my dick strain against the cage every time and sleep becomes impossible. Yet I can’t stop myself from doing.
It’s even more frustrating when she lies against me from the back because I wouldn’t dare ask her to move for my sake. I love the feel of her too much.

I also find that I struggle with being honest about one thing. She can tell that something’s up when I’m at my most frustrated and aroused. She’ll ask me if anything’s wrong and I’ll reply with everything’s fine.
What I want to say is that I’m so horny I’m about to go crazy, but I’m afraid her genuinely kind nature will make her feel sorry for me and remove the cage. I physically want nothing more than to get released, but I don’t want it intellectually. I need to talk to her about this, but I don’t know exactly how to say this without influencing her one way or the other. She’s made it clear that she wants to do things her own way and for me to not pressure her into acting in a particular way.

Anyway it’s time to get the days chores done.
I’m locked and kept by Redraven, my life partner, soulmate and loving key holder. When life is hard, she’s keeps me feeling loved.
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Re: [Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

Post by Chosen_Jackal »

Spent the morning cleaning the kitchen, making A breakfast and getting dinner ready.
She seems pleased with me doing more in the house and giving her plenty of foot rubs whenever she wants them. We’re both in a much better mood than usual and we’re choosing to do more things together as well.
We stacked some firewood behind the house and had a great talk.

We had a lovely moment on the sofa.
A sees all I’m doing for her. She really enjoys how close and loving we are and how much I’m taking of her plate by stepping up in the household department.
She says she’s not decided if this is something she wants us to do for the rest of our lives, not because she’s not enjoying this new dynamic, but because she feels it’s too early to make such a monumental decision.
She says the best thing about all of this is how she sees how calm I am now.
A little backstory:

We’ve been together for over 19 years and like most long term relationships we’ve had our ups and downs. Especially in the intimacy department, and even though that’s been really good for most of last year there’s some issues still.
With me.
Somehow I’ve been more and more hyper focused on our sex life and have created several issues. It’s like the more sex we have the more I want… but what ? Something different? It’s hard to explain, but it’s made me really self critical and even developed some unhealthy performance and body issues.
I don’t have a monster cock between my legs, but I’m alright. Above average both in length and girth.
Yet I’ve been hung up on my inability to give A orgasms through penetration alone. It doesn’t help that I’m fully aware that only about 30% or so of women can orgasm through penetration alone and A has made it clear to me many times that she needs clitoral stimulation.
I still felt like failure.
This of course led to performance issues in my part and a lot of late nights where I’ve been doom scrolling on my phone for some new technique that might do the trick or even ways to make my dick bigger.
Sheer idiocy and insecure behavior from my end to say the least.
And this has caused A a lot of stress as well.

After I put the cage on the first time all these thoughts that’s been driving me crazy for months has stilled. I feel secure. Calm. I feel good.
A sees this and she says this is the best part of this for her so far.

Anyway, back to today.

I cooked a lovely stew with mashed potatoes on the side today and started the preparation for A’s favorite meal for tomorrow. It needs to be prepared for over 24 hours if it’s going to be made right, but only the best for her.
It’s her birthday tomorrow after all.

We had another fun interaction on the sofa tonight.
A: Do you need to shower without the cage tonight?
Me: yeah, that might be a good idea for hygiene reasons. I promise not to touch myself though.
A: You’d better not. Maybe I should come with you to make sure.

She got a wicked smile going then.

A: maybe you’d like me to suck on it?
Me: really?
A: or it’s too soon since you got to cum two days ago?
Me: I’m not saying no if you’re offering. To completion?
A: of course not! I’ve already decided when that will happen and it’s not tonight.
Me: …

I’d say she’s getting the hang of it…
I’m locked and kept by Redraven, my life partner, soulmate and loving key holder. When life is hard, she’s keeps me feeling loved.
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denied_one
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Re: [Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

Post by denied_one »

.."I've already decided when that will happen and it's not tonight..."

Yep, She getting along just fine lol!
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Re: [Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

Post by Chosen_Jackal »

Just some quick thoughts in the morning before I properly start my day.
Today is A’s birthday.
She needs something extra special consider good she’s been to me.
Coincidentally, the 9” dildo that fits our strap on harness arrived in the mail box today. She’ll be excited about that, but I need to think of something more romantic as well.

We’re still experimenting with ring sizes and spacers in my cage. We we at up one size in the base ring and down two sizes in spacers. It seems to work even better now. No real issues during the night even though she insisted on being the one to clean my penis as I showered before bed. She stroked me long as slow to the point where I could feel myself almost coming, but she’d made it clear that’s not on the menu yet so I let her know I was getting close. Thinking back I think I might have told her to stop too early, but better safe than sorry.
Putting the cage back on actually went better than I expected :P

She wasn’t satisfied with edging me in the shower though. She went on to telling me all the things she missed about my cock inside her and all the things she wanted to do, but not until she’s well and ready.

I’m amazed I got any sleep last night.
I’m locked and kept by Redraven, my life partner, soulmate and loving key holder. When life is hard, she’s keeps me feeling loved.
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denied_one
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Re: [Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

Post by denied_one »

Happy HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Miss A. 🎈 🎉🎉
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Re: [Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

Post by Tongue+groove »

. she insisted on being the one to clean my penis
I oftentimes fantasized about not ever touching it again. However Mrs. G isn’t ready for that and I don’t want to become high maintenance to her. When she’s ready it will happen.

Keep us posted on how this progresses for you.
She says ‘it’s cute’ in the nub. ;)