My need for chastity and her need to PIV

[Latch8]

Hi everyone,

I have been playing around with chastity with my wife for a while. I'm generally locked 24/7 and my wife wants to have sex (PIV) about once a week. Generally I'm always allowed to cum and often she also lets me out to masturbate an extra 1-2 times a week. So I get 2-3 orgasms per week and she gets 1.

In the past we've had two 1-month periods of orgasm denial for me which I really enjoyed and I think she did as well. I would like to go more in that direction and plan to tell her soon that I want to have fewer orgasms than her and to not always cum during sex. To be honest, my ideal fantasy is the usual "I'm locked up for long periods and lick her until she cums every day". The problem however is that she CANNOT cum from oral sex. I don't know why because she really seems to enjoy it but she always asks me to "come inside" so she can cum. I think it's because she never masturbates (she insists she's never done it, even as a teenager...).

Anyway, I don't want to top from the bottom so if she wants PIV sex then that's fine. The only problem here is that if I go longer times without cumming I won't be able to last! Even just after a few days I find it really hard to hold back my orgasm until after she's had hers. Especially when she wants me to do it hard or fast or in a certain position that feels extra good for me. I have good self control but still it's hard to hold back and our method of contraception is the withdrawal method so I really can't afford to lose control lol. So I've been considering a few options to solve the problem:

1. Using a condom to last longer, especially one that contains lidocaine. The problem is she HATES the feeling of condoms. It feels different to her and she just doesn't want me to wear one.
2. Using a penis sleeve instead of a condom. I bought a penis sleeve once but unfortunately (being horny at the time) I got one that adds 2 inches and it was too big (long) for her. I guess it would be possible to try one that doesn't really add size and is just a thick condom, but I suppose it would still not feel like real skin so it's a similar problem to using a condom.
3. Using a strap-on and staying locked. Yeah, that's just fantasy. I don't think she'd like it at all. If the sleeve has a 1% chance of her liking it this is 0.1%. She never bought or used a dildo in her life.
4. Me cumming quickly to get it out of the way, then going down on her as foreplay until I'm hard again, then PIV sex where I can last long. This might work but obviously I'd be cumming (no orgasm denial) and actually I don't think I'd been that keen to continue afterward I cum! (also not sure how safe this would be in terms of pregnancy...)
5. Bullying her into never having PIV sex again and just me licking her until she learns how to cum from it and then she can finally throw the key away and I become her slave like in those chastity captions! (just kidding)

tl;dr: I'm a bit at my wits end. I'm 99% sure she wouldn't mind going into long periods of orgasm denial for me but it would mean I would struggle to last during sex, while she needs to have hard, long PIV sex with my actual penis in order for her to cum.

PS: Just wanted to add that she actually enjoys it when I manage to cum in under a minute during a handjob and sometimes likes to do like a 30 second countdown. I think we both would really enjoy to do "PE (premature ejaculation) training" together but I can't lose my stamina for when she needs it once a week!

[chickenchowmein]

My wife easily cums from me fingering her, so that's not exactly an issue for me. In fact, it's been a rare occasion for me to actually make her cum with my penis alone because it just takes a while that way. But I do love the idea of making her cum through penetration. We've very (VERY) tentatively broached the idea of getting a strap-on (yes, they do make them for men) for that purpose. In my mind at least, it seems like a lot of fun.

Have you talked to her about it?

[Latch8]

She is not interested in toys unfortunately. I got her vibrators and the aforementioned sleeve in the past but she didn't like them. Unfortunately she also can't cum from oral or fingering. Maybe it's my technique but she always ends up asking for my penis anyway.

[Tongue+groove]

She sounds much like a younger Mrs. Groove with the masturbation and lack of it. And to this day doesn’t like condoms or artificial appendages of any sort. So some ideas to ponder.

There’s a book out there titled “she comes first” it’s not bad but maybe you can discover something to improve her responses to oral and fingering.

Numbing cream for you. There’s several discussions on here on how to use it.

A ruined orgasm for you in which you give her piv immediately afterwards. You will stay hard and have little chance at coming again.

As for her masturbation habits. It took several years of appropriately timed conversations for Mrs. G to be willing to let me watch her in the act. She has learned over time that this is a major turn on for me and a great t&d option. I have reassured her consistently that watching her body in action is one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever witnessed. It doesn’t happen often but when it does I embrace every moment. She only uses her fingers no extras are necessary. We cuddle a lot afterwards and I brush her hair.

Good luck and be patient, it sounds like you have a lot of opportunity to discover new ways of being together.

[Latch8]

As for her masturbation habits. It took several years of appropriately timed conversations for Mrs. G to be willing to let me watch her in the act.

This is something I mentioned to her as well but I don't think she's convinced yet How did you manage?

[Tongue+groove]

Be patient, gentle, reassuring, admiring, complimentary and most of all loving.

There’s really no right answer here but a few ideas come to mind.

Most women can be pretty physically self conscious. Sometime as she changing ask her if you can watch her. Let her know how beautiful her nakedness is and how much you love to look at her. I have even told Mrs. G that I still lust for her.

One big step forward was for her to understand that I masturbated over her. She eventually let me look at her while I wanked to her. It took a while but she eventually started appreciating that I got my self pleasures from her.

Another positive is once she gets accustomed to your wanking with her presence then move forward with mutual masturbation. If you’ve never done it start simple. Lie side by side and don’t even look at one another. Maybe interlock legs. Then each of you have your own private moment. At one time this was a nice getaway from normal sex for us. We’ve even done each other like this, timing is a lot of fun with this challenge.

I’m not saying we did all this just so I could get to watch her but it was fun getting there. Took many years. Find your own path and I’m sure others on here can tell you more.

FWIW the last time I got to watch was the brass ring event. She led me by the hand to the chair in our room, sat me down and said if you touch yourself anywhere at all then the shows over. She then dropped her towel crawled up on the bed, stared me in the eye while she did it. Her eye contact only left when they rolled back during her orgasm. Afterwards she said. Hopefully you enjoyed that , now you can come to bed. She fell asleep in my arms and I strained in my cage basking with replaying the memory.

Best of luck and patience, patience, patience.

[Mr Pickle]

We started in a similar way. C needed my cock and came that way. Not fond of dildos or vibrators. and I often wonder if there is some kind of orgasm association.

She comes when being fucked. So being fucked is what makes her come.

I heard once that if a guy always looks at balloons when he comes he will eventually become aroused by the site of them because of some mental link between the two?

I did eventually find a dildo that C could use. Dual density. A much more real feel when warmed up. She did like that at the same time as tongue.
Then we found a massager (not a vibrator) which thrumed rather than buzzed. This she liked very much with the dildo after tongue.
Now she has a selection of toys and the kicker is. Last year she did not come using my cock a single time. It just wasnt how she came any more.