Jane meets Dave story 1

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Jane meets Dave story 1

Post by nlworking »

It all started off fairly slowly and Jane, my wife, initially didn’t show a lot of interest, but eventually she began to show more interest in keeping me in chastity. I think she didn’t see the point or understand why I would be interested in ‘not having sex with her’. She would leave the key on the table beside the bed and every time I asked for it she would hand it over. We would have sex and afterwards I put the key back or if I handed it to her it would wind up back on the bedside table. That all changed when one weekend I asked her for the key and she said “No”. I looked over at the table and the key wasn’t there. I was pretty horny so I started touching her as per the usual foreplay and she didn’t resist. As I caressed her breasts and kissed her nipples she lay there and when my hand slipped down between her thighs she spread her legs. I continued my efforts until she was well lubricated and then went down on her. Jane always liked to be penetrated after an oral orgasm and I thought for sure that if I provided her one that the key would be produced and I would be allowed to fuck her. However, her orgasm came and it seemed to be a very powerful one but afterwards Jane just pushed my head from between her legs, rolled over and went to sleep.

The next morning as I snuggled up to her she beat me to the punch when she said. “Don’t bother asking for the key.”

“How did you know I was going to ask for it?”

“ ‘Cause your horny.”

“I thought since I did you last night you might return the favour.”

“You want a blow job?”

“I would love one.” I replied.

“”Do you remember the last one I gave you?”

“Yes, it was awhile ago.”

“Well it was the last one. No more blow jobs.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I don’t have to, you locked your cock up and gave me the key. So now you get what I give you, when I give it to you and you will be grateful.. In fact I expect you will learn to be very grateful and probably a little regretful that you gave me the key.”

“Why the sudden change in mood?” I asked.

“Well it seemed like you were serious about being locked up. I left the key on the table for months and you never touched it. If you really want this then I’ll play along but it will be on my terms and you may not like them.”

“What are your terms?”

“That you remain locked and you don’t ask for the key. I will let you out when I want you out. I’m going to assume that you will always want out so there is no point in asking. If I want your dick I’ll let it out. Otherwise assume that I know you want out but that I don’t. Is that clear?”


“You are going to have to earn your freedom. That means keeping me happy and satisfied.”

“Like last night?”

“Well the orgasm was great but you know I like to be penetrated after my first orgasm and since you won’t be able to do that anymore I will need to find someone to can.”

“You plan to take a lover?

“I think I should.”

“But if you want to fuck all you have to do is let me out and I would be more than willing to fuck you.”

“Yes, I know you would. But you wanted chastity and it’s not chastity if I let you out every time you want to fuck, is it?

“But I could use a dildo on you if you wanted.”

“You probably will, but I like a real dick and since yours isn’t available I will find another.”

“But it is available.”

“No, it’s locked up and if you keep arguing with me it will stay locked up.”

:”But I don’t understand if you want to fuck why wouldn’t you just release me?”

“Because I don’t have too. I can have my cake and eat it too so to speak. I can keep you locked up and fuck someone else and you will learn to accept it. If I want your dick I will have your dick and if I want someone else’s dick I will have it.”

“Do I get to fuck around to?”

“Don’t be silly, of course not. You’ll stay locked and faithful. On those occasions when I do let you out you will find your orgasms quite intense and memorable. But as I understand it to be memorable and intense they need to be rare so rare they will be. We’ll start off with one a month and you’ve already had one this month so you have a few more weeks to wait.”

“I can’t wait that long.”

Jane took hold of my cock and felt my full arousal through the cage. “You don’t really have any choice.” She said as she playfully wiggled the cage with her hand.

We had many more discussions over the next few weeks and Jane remained firm in her position. She would take a lover if she felt like it and I was to remain secured in chastity. I would go down on her two or three times a week and each time she would say a cock would feel so good now but she refused to release me. It is true that the though of another man fucking Jane aroused me and Jane also knew it. All she had to do was feel my arousal when she mentioned it and it became clear to her that any protests I made were just for show. In fact Jane often took hold of my caged cock when we talked about sex and if I said I wasn’t interested in something but my cock tried to burst out of it’s cage she knew I was lying. It soon became pointless to lie and so I had soon confessed all my fantasies to her.

It was a month before Jane let me out and when she did I was so aroused after being locked up for so long that I came almost the instant I entered her. It was a great orgasm but sex was over in less then two minutes and Jane insisted I put the cage back on immediately. I did so and since I had serviced Jane orally before she released me I thought our session was over. But Jane insisted I go down on her and lick my come from her pussy. This was not something I wanted to do but Jane insisted under threat that if I didn’t do it would be the last time I fucked her pussy. She said next time I would only have my hand and since that did nothing for her it would only happen a couple of times a year. She said I made the mess and I had to lick it up or else. I forced myself between her thighs and licked up my come and in the process gave Jane another orgasm.

Jane decided that since I came so quickly when she released me that I had better find her a proper man to fuck her. She had me open an account for her on FetLife since we both wanted someone that would tolerate and be able to work with our lifestyle and a vanilla person would not fit the bill. I took some photos of Jane and set up a profile for her and began to interview potential candidates. It took several weeks but eventually I found what I though was a good match for us. He advertised himself as an alpha male with a generous cock that would satisfy the most demanding lover. He was tall well built and very handsome and Jane was excited when she saw his photos. Dave lived not to far away and seemed to have a lot of experience in the things that interested us. He liked Jane’s photos and said he had no problem with me watching and although not gay he did expect us both to worship his cock with our mouths.

I arranged a meeting at a local restaurant for later in the week and Jane and I went to meet him. Dave suggested rather strongly that Jane wear a short dress or skirt with heels and that she should show some cleavage and have her makeup perfect Jane spent a couple of hours getting ready and had a really hard time selecting a dress that she thought he would like. She finally selected a summer dress that was short and casual enough for the restaurant we were going to but that was cut low enough that it did show a generous amount of cleavage when she wore a push-up bra. When her makeup and lipstick was done we left to meet Dave. We had no trouble recognizing him from his pictures and we introduced ourselves and selected a table near the back that gave us some privacy. Dave seemed to be very personable and was well dressed in casual slacks and checked shirt whereas I was in jeans and a golf shirt.

We sat down and I explained our situation once more and Dave listened and asked questions. Dave mentioned that he was quite dominant and that he preferred his partners to be submissive. Since I was chastised he didn’t think that I would be a problem. When he asked Jane what she liked I was a bit surprised when she said that she was tired of taking charge of our sex life all the time and wanted nothing more than a good fucking every once and awhile. She didn’t want to decide on how she just wanted to get fucked so she was fine with Dave being dominant. Dinner went well and we agreed to a next meeting at our house Friday night. Dave suggested that Jane accompany him to his car while I paid the bill. Once in the car Dave had Jane blow him to test her oral skills and while he said they need work she was able to get him to orgasm and swallowed his load without difficulty. Dave then tested her pussy for wetness and finding it sufficiently wet he sent her on her way.

Jane was still quite worked up when we got home and she wasn’t satisfied until I had given her two orgasms. She kept telling me that Dave had a really big cock that is was much thicker than mine and longer and she was worried that it might hurt when he fucked her with it. The next day Jane was like a school girl going on a first date. She was all excited and kept taking different clothes out of the closet to wear and arranging them with different shoes on the bed. I told her he wasn’t going to be interested in what she was wearing as he would was more interested in fucking her. Jane finally selected a short grey pleated skirt and a white blouse. Under it she was planning to wear black lace panties and a black lace push up bra. Friday came and Jane hurried home from work to get ready. I cooked some burgers on the grill and then set about cleaning the house to prepare. Dave didn’t show up until about ten o’clock. He walked in and handed me his car keys.

“Go wash and detail my car.”

I was going to complain but he continued in a firm demanding voice. “Go.”

Jane came down the stairs and Dave watched her as I left the house. I gathered my supplies from the garage and set about washing and cleaning his car. Inside Dave took a hold of Jane and kissed her deeply on the mouth. Jane melted into his arms and surrendered to him. He slipped a hand under her skirt and cupped her ass. Then Dave turned her around and marched her upstairs to the bedroom. There he turned her around to face him put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her to her knees. Jane knew what she was to do and unbuckled his pants and let them drop to the floor. Then she slipped his underwear down to his ankles and he stepped out of them. She took his cock in both hands and brought it to her mouth. She sucked on it until it grew to its full length. She was amazed at how big it was as even with two hands around it there was still room for her mouth.

Dave took hold of Jane by the hair and pulled her off his cock. He stood her up and had her strip naked. He turned her around and bent her over at the waist. Then he entered her from behind. Jane was wet and the head of his cock slipped in easily. Jane braced herself on the bed as he forced himself the rest of the way in. Jane felt her pussy being stretched like it never had been. Her knees grew weak and she thought she might collapse but she managed to stay standing. Dave still had her hair in one hand and the other on her hip as he began to fuck her. Jane felt her head being pulled back and up by her hair to an awkward angle. It was uncomfortable but there was nothing she could do about it as she realized Dave was not the type of man that cared that she was uncomfortable. For the first time Jane felt like she was being fucked and not made love too. Being fucked was different, it was raw and rough not tender and gentle. Jane felt a warm fuzzy feeling in her pussy, it felt good and Jane knew she would soon orgasm. Being fucked felt good to Jane and she liked the way Dave used her. Dave’s hand left her hip and he slapped her ass hard. It startled Jane and she yelped as the heat spread over her ass.

Dave spoke, “When I’m fucking you like this I want you to tell me ‘Harder, deeper, fuck me’ what ever comes to you. I don’t like to fuck bitches that aren’t vocal. So you start talking or I will beat your ass.”

Jane gasped as Dave plunged deep into her. “Harder.” She managed to say although she though any harder and she would split in two.

“That’s it.” Dave encouraged her.

“Fuck me.” Jane said with a little more conviction.

“Louder.” Dave instructed. “I want your husband to hear you.”

“Harder!” Jane moaned a little louder.

Dave smacked Jane’s ass hard and Jane cried out. “Louder, shout it out.”

Jane’s mind grew numb. Her pussy was buzzing, her ass hurt, her hair was being pulled and she was being fucked hard for the first time in her life and she liked it. Jane felt her self letting go. “Fuck me!” She cried out. “Oh, gawd, fuck me!” With each time she repeated it she grew louder as she felt her orgasm approach. She felt Dave slam into her and with each thrust she cried out. She was loud now almost shouting.

Outside I could hear some commotion so I stopped what I was doing and opened the door to make sure Jane was okay. I could hear them upstairs. Jane crying out “fuck me, harder.” I felt my cock grow harder in its cage. My wife was being fucked and she wanted it. I had never heard her say much of anything when we has sex but Dave had her crying out for more.

Jane knew that there was no point in being quiet anymore any for the first time became vocal during sex. Her cries came with each thrust. “Yes, fuck, oh fuck, harder” were some of the words uttered from her mouth. Sometimes it was just a loud moan. Jane was showing no restraint. If she felt like saying it she did.

“Are you ready to come bitch?” Dave asked.

“Yes.” Jane cried out when she caught her breath.

“Not yet!” Dave instructed. He slapped her ass hard once more.

Jane felt herself on the very edge and the slap almost put her over. She tried to concentrate on making up a grocery list to delay her orgasm. But with each thrust she cried out and she knew she couldn’t hold out for long.

“Don’t you dare come until I tell you to.” Dave demanded. He slapped her ass again.

Jane wanted to hold back for Dave. She wanted to please him. This man that was taking her so forcefully. She tried to work on her grocery list but Dave’s cock kept thrusting into her. “Please, please let me come.” Jane begged.

“Not yet.” Dave demanded. He felt his own orgasm building and he let go of Jane’s hair and took her hips in both hands so he could fuck her harder. As Dave felt the first gush of come start on it’s journey he told Jane. “Now bitch, come now.”

Jane almost collapsed as she felt her orgasm consume her. It was Dave holding her firmly by her hips that kept her from falling. Jane felt her orgasm rush over her in wave after wave. She felt Dave empty his load into her and felt his cock swell with each jet of come that spewed from it. Her orgasm was powerful and intense and seemed to go on and on. Dave orgasm ended and he gave Jane a little push and she fell on to the bed as his cock was released from her pussy. Jane was breathing irregularly trying to catch her breath and lay without moving on the bed.

Dave moved to the bedroom doorway and stuck his head out and called. “Get back to work on my car!”

I hesitated for only a moment before heading back outside. Jane had never been that vocal during our sessions. I was jealous and horny and wanted nothing more than to fuck Jane but I doubted that was going to happen tonight or anytime soon even.

Dave asked Jane were she kept some lubricant and Jane pointed to the bedside table. Dave opened the drawer and found a tube of KY jelly and applied some to his cock. He was still hard and after sampling Jane’s pussy he wanted to try out her ass. Dave climbed onto the bed and arranged Jane so she was kneeling with her face down and her ass up. He placed his cock at the entrance to her ass and slowly pressed his way in. Jane grunted ass she felt her asshole strain to accept the large intruder. She felt some pain but still being in a daze from her orgasm submitted. Once Dave had the head of his cock in he waited for a moment before slowly pressing further into her. Jane wasn’t a hug fan of anal intercourse but would tolerate it on occasion. Now she was being stretched beyond anything she had ever experienced and the experience sent her deep into sub space. She knew she would let Dave use her anyway he wanted and that if he wanted her ass she would let him have it.

Dave started off slowly and reminded Jane to vocalize. Jane did as requested and begged him to fuck her ass. The pain soon gave way to pleasure as Dave gradually began to thrust deeper harder and faster in her. Dave’s second orgasm took a lot longer to arrive. As he fucked Jane he talked to her.

“Do you like being my bitch?”

“Yes.” Jane replied.

“What does it mean to you that you are my bitch?’

“It means you can fuck me whenever you want.”

“Yes it means that but it also means more than that. It means I can fuck you whenever I want and however I want. In any hole. and you will never refuse me.”


“Now that you are my bitch I demand that you do not fuck anyone else. In fact more than that you do not have sex of any kind without my permission. This ass and pussy are mine and are for me to use any way I like. I don’t want you even touching yourself do you understand?”


“You keep this pussy shaved or waxed but you leave that clit alone. You can flirt with your husband but you don’t let him touch your pussy or tits unless I tell you to. If you need to be fucked you e-mail me and beg me to fuck you. If I don’t feel like it I may let your husband lick you to orgasm. Do you understand?


“And you agree?”


“What did you just agree to?”

“No sex unless you tell me.”

“Are you going to have a problem with that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you like having my cock in your ass?”

“It hurts a little.”

“Why do you think it hurts a little.” Dave said as he drove deep in Jane in one quick deep thrust.

“Because I am not used to it.

“Exactly, so what are you going to do about it?

“I don’t know. I could try stretching with a butt plug.”

“Do you think I want to fuck you if your asshole is all stretched out?”


“That’s right. You will do nothing. Accept that a little discomfort is the price you have to pay for my pleasure.”

Dave was getting closer to orgasm when he pulled out of Jane and lay down on the bed face up. He had Jane straddle him and lower her ass onto his cock once more. He then had Jane move up and down as he gazed at her body. Jane had great tits, thirty six “C’s” that were firm and perfectly shaped. Her belly was flat and firm and her hips gave her a nice hourglass shape. Jane had long toned legs that added up to a body that turned heads wherever she went. Dave studied her body as she fucked. Her eyes rolled back into her head every time she lowered herself onto his cock. Dave smiled as he thought he was a lucky man to have found Jane. All t would take would be a little more training and she would be a perfect slut.

“Do you have a vibrator?”

Jane nodded.

“Get it.” Dave ordered.

Jane stopped her movement and eased herself off Dave. She went over to her dresser and opened a drawer and selected a vibrator. It was a small one meant to be worn around ones finger. She handed it to Dave and then climbed back on top of him and lowered her ass over his cock once more. Dave attached the vibrator to his finger and turned it on. He started with Jane’s nipples and found them to be sensitive to his touch. Then he moved down to her clit. She moaned her approval as he stimulated her clit. He soon had her on the verge of orgasming once more.

“Don’t you come yet.” He demanded and Jane did her best to comply. “Tell me when you are right at the edge.”

Jane’s face screwed up and she called out. “Almost there.”

Dave removed his finger from her clit and Jane’s face showed her disappointment. Dave let her be for a moment and then started again on her nipples. Jane almost melted from the pleasure and asked for more.

“Will you come from this?” Dave asked as he placed the vibrator on each nipple.

“Yes.” Jane replied.

“Tell me to stop before you do.”

Jane soon called for him to stop.

“Orgasm control is very important.” Dave offered and then continued. “You need to learn to come when told and not when you feel like it.

“I want to come.” Jane replied.

“Of course you do, but you must wait until I tell you. Can you do that?”

“I’ll try.”

Dave stimulated her clit once more until Jane was about to come and then stopped. He continued to tease her for another twenty minutes before he let her come. The whole time he filled her ass with his cock and when she finally did orgasm Dave did as well. Jane was exhausted and trembling when he rolled her off his cock and let her lay beside him. He got up and found the washroom and cleaned his cock off. Then he got dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen. He sat at the table and considered his next move. Soon he heard Jane stir and she came down stairs. She wore only a simple negligee that hid nothing. She sat down on a chair across from Dave.

Dave spoke first. “I think this will work out. You’re a good fuck and I think you can learn to be a great fuck. I’m not quite sure of what to do with your husband though. I suppose if he likes being in chastity he can stay in chastity. How often were you letting him out.”

“Once a month.”

“And he was okay with that, no whinning or complaining?”

“No, not really.”

“Then he can go much longer. How important is it that if he gets out he gets to fuck you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Would you be okay if when I let him out he didn’t get to fuck you?”

“Well who would he fuck then?”

“I was thinking just his hand.”

“Oh, I suppose that would be okay.”

“Would you miss his cock in you?”

“Not if I have yours.”

“What if not only mine but I wanted you to fuck a friend of mine:

“I don’t know, I guess I would do it.”

“I expect that you would do it without question or hesitation. You like sex I like sex and I know other people that like sex. I see no reason we all can’t enjoy ourselves.. Who knows even your hubby may learn to enjoy his hand after being locked up for a few months.”

“It was his idea, not mine. If that’s what he gets then that’s what he gets.”

“That’s almost cruel, you have a mean streak in you.”

“No I just think that this is his doing so not my fault if it turns out different then he planned.”

“Do you have a plan?”

“No, not really, other then to have a good fuck now and again.”

“Oh, I have no doubt you will get thoroughly fucked. Tonight was just a warm up to see how you handled it.”

“How did I do?”

“You did fine. I think you are more submissive than you think you are.”

“How submissive do you think I am?”

“I intend to find out.”

Jane felt her pussy grow wet. She shifted in her chair uncrossing and recrossing her legs.

“Does that excite you?”


“You don’t have any tattoos or piercings?”

“Just my ears.”
“What if I told you I wanted you to get one.”

Jane felt herself get a little wetter. “Which, a tattoo or a piercing?”

“Oh probably both, but I would start with a piercing. If this doesn’t work out you can just let it close up.”

“And what would you have me pierce.”

“I think that can figure that one out. If you get it wrong we can keep going until you get it right.”

“Navel? I’ve thought about that one before.”

“Nice but that doesn’t do anything for your sex life.”

Jane thought for a moment and as she did she felt her pussy grow warm.

“Then boobs or pussy?”

“Why not both?”

“Umm, I’ll think about it.”

Dave good see that Jane’s nipples were erect and knew that he would have no trouble getting her to have them pierced. He thought little silver or gold rings would suit her.

“Well don’t think about it too long or I will have to tie you down and do it for you.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

“What if I said ‘No.”

“Would you say ‘No’?”


“Then I guess I would gag you first.”

“Do you always get your way?”

“Yes, and the sooner you learn that the less sore your ass will be.”

“So now you’re going to beat me.”

“If that’s what it takes. Would you like a sample?”


“Well that’s going to be a problem. You see I don’t like it when you say ‘No’ to me. You’re supposes to say ‘Yes’ to everything.”

“What if I don’t want too?”

“That’s the point. It doesn’t matter if you want to or not. If I want to, that should be enough for you. Now stand up and bend over the table.”

“What? Why?”

“Just do it.”

Jane stood up and bent over the table.

“Put your hands above your head straight out across the table.”

“Like this?” Jane asked as she placed her hands across the table.

Dave got up from his chair and began to remove his belt.

“What are you going to do?” Jane asked slightly alarmed.

“Don’t you trust me?”

“I don’t know.”

Jane said one thing but she remained in place. Dave walked around behind her and lifted up the hem of her negligee, exposing her ass. He ran his palm over her ass feeling the soft curve of her flesh. He caressed both cheeks.

“You have a lovely ass. It really would be a shame to mark it all up.

“Then don’t.”

Dave noted that Jane had not moved out of position. If she really didn’t want to be hit she would have. He decided to continue to push her and see where it led. He continued to caress her ass and occasionally slipped his hand down over her pussy. When he did so Jane opened her legs a little to provide him with access. Dave thought the bitch wants to be fucked again. Dave dropped his pants and pulled out his cock. He stroked it quickly and it became hard. He placed the tip at the entrance to Jane’s pussy and entered her. He fucked her hard and fast. He called Jane his bitch and smacked her ass hard with his hand. He told her not to come until he said to and was pleased when he finally came that Jane did as well. He pulled out of her and picked up his belt. Jane was deep in subspace he suspected and now was the time to mark her ass a bit. He stuck her with a fairly light stroke and Jane cried out but remained in position. He struck her a few more times and began to see red welts appear on her ass. Jane cried out with each blow but remained in place. He only gave her six strokes before stopping and them he caressed her ass once more with his hand.

“You did very well for you first time.”

“Thank you.” Jane said almost in tears. “I tried.”

“You did try and you did great. You will have a couple of very nice welts to show your husband. It’s a pity he wasn’t here to witness it.”

“I’m not sure he would have liked it.” Jane said, she still had not moved from her position.

“I’m going now. I’ll send him in, you remain like that until he comes in and have him lick your pussy clean.”

“He may not want to.”

“I don’t care if he wants to. You get him to do it or next time I’ll really whip your ass and his for disobedience and I won’t go so lightly on you.”

Dave then left the house. He found me by his car and told me I could stop cleaning his it and to go and see my wife. I watched him drive away and then headed indoors. I called for Jane and she directed me to the kitchen. I found her basically naked lying on top of the kitchen table her bare ass showing evidence of several welts.

“Are you okay?” I asked her.

“Yes, I’m fine. A little sore.”

“I can see that. Your ass is covered in welts.”

“I meant my pussy was sore. My ass is fine.”

“It doesn’t look it.”

“Look you need to lick my pussy clean and swallow Dave’s come.”

“I’m not doing that.” I replied.

“You have too.”

“Because Dave said if you didn’t he would really whip my ass and yours too.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Look, just do it for me.”

“How about I don’t do it and you tell him I did.”

“If you don’t do it now you will have to do it next time. So you better get used to it. It’s not that bad once you’re used to it. The first time will be the hardest. Now get over here and lick my pussy. You better do it and do it well or you’ll stay locked up until you do.”

Jane was insistent that I like her clean and I could see I really didn’t have much choice. Sooner or later I was going to have to do it and I might as well get used to doing it. I knelt down and gingerly began to lick around Jane’s pussy. It was red and raw and looked abused. As I licked I tasted Dave’s come but tried not to think about it. I did a superficial job of it and after a few minutes considered it done.

I got up and Jane straightened out and sat down although her ass was obviously a bit tender.

“Well tell me about it.” I asked.

Jane then began to tell me everything that happened and my cock strained in it’s cage the whole time. When she finished I offered “You don’t have to see him again if you don’t want to.”

“Oh, but I do want to. I’ve never been fucked like that and I liked it. I liked it a lot.”

“I could fuck you like that.”

“No, you never did and I don’t think you could, besides your cock is too small. It’s better that it stays locked up.”

“So that’s it, just like that I don’t get to fuck you anymore.”

“Look this was your idea, it’s not my fault its turning out this way. You got what you asked for. You’re locked up and if you behave Dave will let you watch me get fucked and if you are really lucky Dave will unlock you and you can jerk off but I think that’s going to be a while.”

“How long is awhile?”

“Probably longer than you would like unless you really behave.”

“What does that mean?”

“That means learning to lick my pussy clean without being told. That means not asking to be let out. We know you want out and Dave will let you out when he thinks you deserve it. So do your best to deserve it.”
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Re: Jane meets Dave story 1

Post by nlworking »

I didn't realize this forum was so vanilla so I toned the story down some. I was expecting a few comments but I only got one like so not sure if anyone enjoyed this fantasy or if it was too rough. I did write it in a hurry and would appreciate any feedback. Over the years I have written hundreds of stories but this is the first I ever published.
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Re: Jane meets Dave story 1

Post by KittensBoyToy »

The forum has been a little slow lately so the comments may be a while coming. I for one loved the story and the way you told it.
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I'm Kitten's property and She keeps Her property secure in a Jail Bird!
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Re: Jane meets Dave story 1

Post by evanknox1 »

I found it "hard' (pun intended) to read while locked up. Things got a bit uncomfortable 'down there' . Well done.
I'm looking forward to Story 2.
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Re: Jane meets Dave story 1

Post by storywriter24 »

Well you did ask for comment, so first let me say that your writing style, grammar and punctuation are generally excellent. What a treat that is compared with so much of the erotic fiction on the internet.
At the start, the narrative is from the first-person perspective. We see the story develop from the husband’s point of view. Part way through, we switch to the God’s-eye view: Dave noted that Jane… etc. which could make sense if we assume that Jane told her husband everything that happened while he was cleaning the car and then the husband passes this on to us – the readers. Perhaps, I’m being pedantic, but I find the change in perspective distracting.
I think the plot is well constructed and I expect it would appeal to readers who enjoy this particular style of fiction. I suppose that the husband, and later the wife, must get some kind of satisfaction from being dominated in the fashion that you describe, but I find it hard to find anything likeable about the 3 characters. They all seem totally wrapped up in themselves and their own desires.
I hope you will share more erotic stories with us. It would be interesting to see whether it’s possible to retain the dominance and submission themes against a backdrop of a caring, mutually supportive relationship.
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Re: Jane meets Dave story 1

Post by nlworking »

Thanks all for the feedback. I do realize my writing style is not fabulous as I typically write for my own enjoyment and not with the intent to publish. I am working on the next part and will try and take the positive advice and improve. I'm glad that some of you are enjoying the story.
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