Locked or just disciplined— what’s the difference?

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midlifelovelife
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Locked or just disciplined— what’s the difference?

Post by midlifelovelife »

A quick question for those who have tried OC with both the honor system and with a device:

What’s the difference for you and your relationship? I mean, the main thing is letting your partner control your orgasms, right? Does the device itself make a huge difference? I am not in a cage.

(Encouraging men and key holders to weigh in.)
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nosaint
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Re: Locked or just disciplined— what’s the difference?

Post by nosaint »

I've done 6 weeks or more on the honor system, and 15 while caged. I much prefer being caged. I like a bit of kink in my daily life, my wife is never going to be a domme, so this satisfies my desires. In general, there is less strife, I'm not feeling that she ignoring my desires, and she can more or less "set it and forget it" I don't think I'd say it's made a huge difference, but I enjoy it.
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FindingFun
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Re: Locked or just disciplined— what’s the difference?

Post by FindingFun »

I'd say I'm hopefully about to embark on a similar path. Hoping that my wife agrees to hold keys with minimal participation. I think in time, she might have some fun with it, perhaps denying me here and there if I request the key for some self pleasure. We are in a sexless but affectionate status now and I'm hoping for some small incremental change.
nosaint wrote: Mon Sep 14, 2020 7:16 am I've done 6 weeks or more on the honor system, and 15 while caged. I much prefer being caged. I like a bit of kink in my daily life, my wife is never going to be a domme, so this satisfies my desires. In general, there is less strife, I'm not feeling that she ignoring my desires, and she can more or less "set it and forget it" I don't think I'd say it's made a huge difference, but I enjoy it.
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WifeIsVanilla
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Re: Locked or just disciplined— what’s the difference?

Post by WifeIsVanilla »

The chastity cage is VERY important for me. I have been into B & D since puberty. My wife used to indulge me once in a while, but not for the last 20 years or so. Chastity devices are an absolutely brilliant form of genital bondage, AND when properly fitted, they feel so good. Also, because my Jail Bird never needs to be removed for cleaning, this feel good bondage can continue indefinitely.
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Re: Locked or just disciplined— what’s the difference?

Post by Steve2059 »

I handed my wife control of my orgasms and my genitals over three years ago. At the time I was serious but She thought the whole thing would blow over after I grew bored. She has, however, grown to like the control and tells me She wouldn't go back now.
My chastity is both caged and uncaged at Her whim - I have no say. 2020 has been overwhelmingly uncaged while 2019 was overwhelmingly caged (avergage stretch would be five or six days with a break of anywhere from a couple of hours to three of four days.
Caged and uncaged chasity are different experiences for me. Being caged comes with extra rules; for instance I must never initiate sex or even hint that I'm horny when caged. Being uncaged sees a lot more teasing to the point of orgasm but never over the edge, while caged is more about me being docile and on best behaviour (I can mention that I'm horny when uncaged, but can't press the point beyond that). We don't attempt for me to orgasm or ruin while caged. Her uncaged regime is that while She might well use me, She will never bring me to orgasm or ruin - I must do that myself on her orders and under supervision. These are rare events; I haven't had a full orgasm this year but have probably had six or seven ruins (though I've largely been weaned off the desire to cum, preferring the lasting sensation of the edging plateau). Caged chastity, while She uses my mouth regularly, is more about cuddling and being romantic.
Chores and being naked around the house are the same whatever state She decides.
While She does like to see me ironing, cooking and vacuuming naked, and likes that chastity sees me doing a lot more domestically that I used to, She thinks, and I agree, that chastity, and caging in particular, has made me less of an asshole and more even tempered (not proud, but I did used to be an angry man, though never violent).
For myself, I like doing both in that after weeks of honour I'm glad to see the cage again, and after weeks of that I'm glad to see it back in the drawer for a bit.
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Re: Locked or just disciplined— what’s the difference?

Post by TwistedMister »

WifeIsVanilla wrote: Mon Sep 14, 2020 12:57 pm The chastity cage is VERY important for me. I have been into B & D since puberty...Chastity devices are an absolutely brilliant form of genital bondage...
Uncaged/'honor system' wouldn't work for me, I am not 'submissive' by nature. I need the element of 'force', the physical means of control, the lock to which I do not have a key.

There is just 'something' about a physical device that blocks access to what we think of as our most personal, private possession, that we could use to enjoy pleasure at any time we wished, as often as we wished (well, those of us who were not plagued by guilt from being bombarded with negativity toward 'self-pleasure', anyway); a most intimate form of bondage and restraint that almost constantly reminds us that *we* are no longer in control of it, that someone else has the power to decide when and how we receive pleasure, that we are subject to someone else's wishes, whims and control, and that if that someone else is displeased (whether by our actions or outside influences) it may/can/will directly affect our own pleasure (and potentially even result in some form of penalty or punishment, either directly, or indirectly by extended denial).

I find that I am more attentive to Mrs. Twisted's moods, and less 'argumentative', and quicker to do some of the things she wants done even though commanding performance of such tasks is technically not part of our dynamic.
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Re: Locked or just disciplined— what’s the difference?

Post by Lady M »

The cage for us is a constant reminder of who's in control. While I know my hubby would obey my rules without the cage I prefer it and so does he. He likes to feel it and I love to see it!

It's kinda like a wedding ring... Without it you're still married but you wear it as a symbol and I can imagine most like, me, like feeling the ring there as a sense of relationship and comfort.

Anyway... My thoughts!
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cuyahoga
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Re: Locked or just disciplined— what’s the difference?

Post by cuyahoga »

My wife is rewarded by Orgasm Control. There are a lot of things that she gets out of it. Chastity does nothing for her (except for the look in my eyes when she tells me to either put it on or take it off), except for her enjoying my enjoyment. Chastity actually interferes a bit, as she does love my penis, and loves to have access to it (lucky me!).

Our play with the Chastity Cage is therefore all for me, and I'm the only reason it's there. We do not use it for enforcement of anything, as I would never cheat on our "game". We use it to up my frustration level, as well as making me feel a little more controlled.

Oh wait ... there is one thing she gets out of it, and she does know that. If I'm in an orgasm denial period, and she leaves me alone in the house for the day, I'll probably do my normal thing mostly, and get a few chores done while also playing some video games and maybe look at some porn (never to fruition). But she has learned that the same circumstances with me caged does result in every chore imaginable done, and then some she couldn't even imagine. Leaving me alone in the house for the day caged always results in massive cleaning, organizing, etc...

Before the cage entered our play, we still did a lot of orgasm denial, and even for long stretches, and it was still very exciting for me.
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Re: Locked or just disciplined— what’s the difference?

Post by JLai »

For my case a peace of mind.
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KittensBoyToy
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Re: Locked or just disciplined— what’s the difference?

Post by KittensBoyToy »

I am at a point now here the device isn't necessary to enforce denial or control. That being said, being caged and not having access to the keys is a constant reminder of my giving up control of that part of my body and life. Knowing my Mistress cares enough to exercise that control is reason enough to submit to being caged.
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