Asking seems simple enough but..

Living the real life under lock and key
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Mr Pickle
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Asking seems simple enough but..

Post by Mr Pickle »

OK. So here is the never ending dilemma.

I've been locked for some time. C plays the game, her game now and I go along with anything she says. I honestly truly belive she enjoys and wants this as much as I do. If not more to the point that not being locked is no longer a choice for me.

But sometimes I want to ask for something, or at least discuss it. This is usually shut down before it starts, almost as if C is in denial or just feels uncomfortable talking sex.

I'm sure if I asked C if she thought she was kinky in any way she would reply "No"

The fact that she deliberately and very sincerely wants my cock in a cage, enjoys making me swallow my own cum etc. kind of says otherwise. So I have to ask why communication is still so difficult or uncomfortable?

I find this quite frustrating, but I can't complain because of where we are regardless.

The question I have is how to phrase this message:

"Hey beautiful. Could we make a New year's resolution this year. A real one, and one to fit with our amazing new sex life dynamic thing.
Have a think about it.

It looks fine to me, but so did the others that were ignored or taken the wrong way.
What an I doing wrong? Or am I doing everything the way it should be done and this is just a part of it.
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Me. "I only got 30 seconds, that's not fair". C. "life's not fair, suck it up" :(
Sam3655
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Re: Asking seems simple enough but..

Post by Sam3655 »

That’s a good question. I tried to bring up maybe adding a strap-on for me to wear so we could be intimate without unlocking me. Did my research. Had my pros and cons and as soon as the word strap on came out of my mouth she shut it down. Nope, nada, never.

Might try something along the line of how amazing and confident she has become in her control that you would like to try adding __________ to take her control to the next level . And after two or three times if either person says Nay then we throw it away.
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nosaint
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Re: Asking seems simple enough but..

Post by nosaint »

My wife is the same way, she doesn't want to talk about sex or toys in general. So I'll tease her and tell her I'm going to get an X to really blow you away, then I drop it for a few weeks or months and mention it again and see her reaction. We used the Vixskin for a few years with my hands. Had I jumped straight to wearing a strap on, I think she would have balked.
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Back in the Cherry Keeper Short 24/7 currently, caged November 1, 2022 24/7
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Mr Pickle
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Re: Asking seems simple enough but..

Post by Mr Pickle »

Yeah.. I tried the strapon route and failed miserably. I have no idea why? C seemed to enjoy it at the time, but when I asked again (as a birthday gift) it was a straight No?
So ill bring it up again this year sometime.
I'd like to try pegging to be honest and I have asked straight out after C mentioned my nice tight ass. 'would you fuck my ass for me'. She said "Yep" straight away. But then had no knowledge of the conversation and has put it high on the things not to be talked about.

I have tried reverse phycology like 'well I would never let you do that, even if you insisted". The answer of course is "Good."

I think the answer is wait for the right moment and ask, wait for the shutdown and carry on. Because somewhere in there it has been noted. It must have been cos look where we are now compared to three years ago.

Unless I have a ureka moment I'll just ask tomorrow if we can make a sexy new year wish or resolution.
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Me. "I only got 30 seconds, that's not fair". C. "life's not fair, suck it up" :(
Sam3655
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Re: Asking seems simple enough but..

Post by Sam3655 »

If you find a way to get your kh to accept a strap-on please let me know how you do it. I will do the same as I will suggest it again.
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Tom Allen
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Re: Asking seems simple enough but..

Post by Tom Allen »

If your wife is very vanilla then I stro fly suggest you avoid the common terms in the alternative sex communist. Most of them sound like they were coined by horny, drunk frat boys. At the top of the list: pegging reverse pegging and strap on.

Take a look at this thread:
viewtopic.php?f=2&t=63285&hilit=Fauxing

Introduce a dildo first, maybe by looking at them together online. The Vixskin site is pretty neutral but also check out the woman friendly "Toys in Babeland."

And guys, don't forget that *generally speaking,* women want to know how you're feeling about something. They don't want a bunch of rules, and they don't want to feel like this is a challenge.

Keep it light and fun.
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Fastredcar
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Re: Asking seems simple enough but..

Post by Fastredcar »

Maybe if you can get her to listen to this podcast. Can't say that I've worked up the nerve to ask my very vanilla wife to listen yet. https://peggingparadise.com/2015/09/pod ... he-ladies/

Good luck.
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Mr Pickle
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Re: Asking seems simple enough but..

Post by Mr Pickle »

I did describe C as vanilla at the beginning of my journey. This isn't the case now of course. 'Normal' sex these day involves tongue, toy and vibrator while I am locked, and then dismissed.
I think the problem with pegging (apart from it being called pegging) is that C puts poop and nuclear waste in the same category. So I'll leave it on the back burner.
I have looked at a few podcasts and pages, C wouldn't have the patience to sit and listen. I get a one shot coment, which is likley unheard (or appeared to be unheard). I see it as planting seeds?
But on the right occasion, at the right time, C will read a message before deleting it. Terrified the kids will get her phone.

I would like to get the strapon back into action, and I have reasons that might seem reasonable. I dislike the word "strapon" simply because it evokes an instant preprogrammed negative reaction.
I have already mentioned ' can we make A sexy new years wish?' and recieved an answer "I'll wait to see what you come up with"

So ill be saying (at the right time, on our own, after looking at curtains and cruises etc. "I have thought about it.. A lot, and I'm sending it now. Or would you prefer to read it from my phone? "

Either way. This is the gist of it:

This is usually a No , but you're so much more open minded and confident now. And it would means a lot to me.
I'd love to hold you while toy fucking you, squeeze your breasts, kiss your neck. It really turns me on thinking about it. Your so fucking hot.
So. I'd like to wear your favourite dildo sometime and make love to you. I'd go down and finish the job as soon as you say, being so horny and desperate to give you that amazing orgasm. I would only use the soft toy you like.
Please? 💕 Think about it.
Actually. Don't think about it just say "Yes super stud muffin. I'm looking forward to it"
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Me. "I only got 30 seconds, that's not fair". C. "life's not fair, suck it up" :(
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Tom Allen
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Re: Asking seems simple enough but..

Post by Tom Allen »

I would like to get the strapon back into action, and I have reasons that might seem reasonable. I dislike the word "strapon" simply because it evokes an instant preprogrammed negative reaction.
For a little while we used "faux cock" which led to the term "foxing". However, Mrs Edge now thinks of this as regular sex and we don't sue those terms any more
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Mr Pickle
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Re: Asking seems simple enough but..

Post by Mr Pickle »

Foxing would work. C loves foxes, so it isn't a shocking word. This may be a way forward.
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Me. "I only got 30 seconds, that's not fair". C. "life's not fair, suck it up" :(
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