90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Living the real life under lock and key
michaelnmelissa
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90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by michaelnmelissa » Thu Jan 20, 2011 9:38 am

Melissa and I had a good day this past Monday. Off and on, between renovating a room and trips to Home Depot, we talked about MC and us. We had a 90 day evaluation of it and what it's done for us and whether or not we'll continue.

We decided that, like I've posted before, that we are not going back to pre-MC. But, more than that, Melissa is fully into this as much as me. While I was the initiator she is 100% on board now. I think it was Dev who mentioned once about both parties being fully invested in MC. Well, Melissa is. I was surprised at how strong her feelings were at the thought of being like we were before. She said she could not handle it. The pressure, the arguments, the withdrawal from each other. She said it would crush her if we were like that again. All the relationship benefits that MC is said to bring really have happened for us.

I've been thinking how, while I am the one locked up, Melissa likes me locked up just as much. And I was right at how much it means to her. She said she would be truly sad if I wanted to give MC up. She wants me in my device and wants to keep me happy in it. So much so that she's more than happy to spend more money on a Steelheart 2 because I'd like to try it. In the beginning she thought the devices were "really weird," but now she is researching them and giving her opinion on what looks good, what looks like it might work well, etc. I'm more than a little surprised, really.

I realize how fortunate I am. I know that many couples have one person more into than another. And I'm not saying we're on the same page on everything. (For example, Melissa is not into the idea of disciplining me with spanking even though I am). However, she has taken to MC in such a way that I'm consistently wondering who enjoys it more - me or her.

So, that's where we are after 3 months. Hope y'all are having a great day in MC.

Michael
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Dev
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by Dev » Thu Jan 20, 2011 11:23 am

Tell Melissa to google "erotic spanking" and read some of what comes up. There's a big difference between erotic spanking and discipline spanking, as I have learned. Up until a few months ago, I only knew about the latter. Now that I know I can spank my husband erotically, it's a whole new world. It's hot for me and I have learned that it's something he has wanted for a long time but never told me. Funny how chastity helps couples bring out their hidden desires, isn't it? :)

D
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michaelnmelissa
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by michaelnmelissa » Thu Jan 20, 2011 11:36 am

Hi Dev,

I used to spank her, but she did it just to make me happy. She is not turned on by it. Still, I am hopeful for the future. If MC has taught me anything it's don't push. She knows I like it (her spanking me) and when/if she's willing I know she'll do it.

Michael
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danj
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by danj » Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:12 pm

Michael,

That sounds great...glad to hear things are working out so well for you guys. My wife has been pretty disengaged on MC the last several days. I do find it hard to stay locked-up when she is just not involved. I took the device off the other day, and not sure when I'll put it back on. Think I'm going to wait until she mentions it.

Anyway, enjoy being locked!
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-Dan

and yes, that IS my beautiful hotwife wearing the key to my cb-6000s!

Currently Own: CB-6000s, Steelworxx Steelheart (2), modified Steelworxx Looker 3, and DH Gate A271
Currently Wearing: Looker 3

https://devotedhubby.wordpress.com

michaelnmelissa
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Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:00 am
Location: Southern USA

Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by michaelnmelissa » Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:30 pm

Danj,

I think part of the key for us has been my realization that MC is 24/7 for us whether we talk about it or not or do anything sexual.

If a day or two or three go by and we're busy and tired and we don't talk about it or anything then, it's okay. At first I struggled with that a lot. Now, though, I'm realizing that if we're going to keep this way of being together going for the long term then I'm going to have to get used to the fact that there will be down days.

Have you considered keeping the device on without mentioning it or pressuring her about it? (Not that I'm saying you are doing those things). My wife was impressed that even though I was locked up and left alone for a bit I did not fuss. It's led to her being more intentional with her attention.

Michael
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danj
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by danj » Thu Jan 20, 2011 2:39 pm

michaelnmelissa wrote: Have you considered keeping the device on without mentioning it or pressuring her about it? (Not that I'm saying you are doing those things). My wife was impressed that even though I was locked up and left alone for a bit I did not fuss. It's led to her being more intentional with her attention.

Michael
Michael,

You might have a point...I might be expecting too much, and maybe am a bit too needy. Maybe I'll try that and see what happens. I def. am having difficutly when she ignores the whole MC thing.
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-Dan

and yes, that IS my beautiful hotwife wearing the key to my cb-6000s!

Currently Own: CB-6000s, Steelworxx Steelheart (2), modified Steelworxx Looker 3, and DH Gate A271
Currently Wearing: Looker 3

https://devotedhubby.wordpress.com

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wishful4
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by wishful4 » Thu Jan 20, 2011 3:00 pm

Michael,

Maybe I'm just going about this the wrong way. Though I don't have a problem with down days and I'm not needy all the time I'm locked up, I want her to want me under lock and key. IOW, I'm waiting for her to tell me to put my CD on. Maybe I should just put it on and give her the key, but in my mind, that would not invest her in the process.

If Melissa wouldn't mind sharing, was there a certain point in the journey that she realized, "Hey, I get this!!". Was there something, an article, a book, a conversation or experience between the two you that she could identify as a turning point and the light came on.

We have some medical issues going on now and are on an MC break. It's given me some time to reflect on where we've been. I trying to come up with some ideas to get my keyholder/spouse more interested and invested in MC. Your experiences have been most helpful and inspiring. Thanks to the both of you.
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Wishful4
Current Device: DhGate S671 (A271)
Previous devices: CB 6000s, CB 6000, MM Queen's Keep (2)MM Jailbird

michaelnmelissa
Posts: 300
Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:00 am
Location: Southern USA

Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by michaelnmelissa » Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:19 am

Life is funny.

After a sexy day on Monday the rest of the week has been rather flat. But, I suppose that's normal.

Melissa can't point to any one specific moment when she realized she wanted me locked up. It was more of a cumulative thing. She saw the benefits that were there with her in control, she knew of my desire to be physically controlled, and she gradually warmed to the idea of a device. After she watched me try on the MM sizing rings she became curious as to how the device worked and started to look forward to its arrival. Then, when it did get here, she was surprised to find she liked how it looked and what it did for me. It keeps me under her control, it keeps me worked up, attentive, etc. Once both of us agreed this was the way for us for the rest of our lives she found she liked me in the metal.

Lucy Fairbourne's book, Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders, is the only thing on MC she has ever read. It is a good book. Dev has a review of it at her blog that is thoughtful and well-written. It was helpful for her to read it though.

Michael
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Dev
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by Dev » Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:29 am

Lucy Fairbourne's book, Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders, is the only thing on MC she has ever read. It is a good book. Dev has a review of it at her blog that is thoughtful and well-written. It was helpful for her to read it though.
Thank you. Sarah's book is good, too, if you felt like investing in that. But you might not feel the need to buy anything else. I think this forum has good advice along with the various blogs listed on Keyheld.

D
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The Key is on my Nipple Ring
a couple's explorations with a chaste life, from the wife's point of view
Dev's Gallery
my stash of good looking men
Keyheld: Chastity Resources for Lovers

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danj
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Re: 90 Day Eval/Fully Invested

Post by danj » Fri Jan 21, 2011 4:43 pm

Michael,

The more I thought about your advice, the better I like it. I casually mentioned locking back up this morning, and she responded positively...so after showering, I put the device back on. No other mentions after that so far today. I'm going to try really hard to just be a good husband and not pester her, and deal with those days when she isn't interested. I mean, why am I complaining? She's been great on this for the most part. She often has other things on her mind...work, child, etc...but that is to be expected.

Anyway, thanks for your input...it helps.
0 x
-Dan

and yes, that IS my beautiful hotwife wearing the key to my cb-6000s!

Currently Own: CB-6000s, Steelworxx Steelheart (2), modified Steelworxx Looker 3, and DH Gate A271
Currently Wearing: Looker 3

https://devotedhubby.wordpress.com

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