At what point does it become a lifestyle?

Living the real life under lock and key
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Mr Pickle
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At what point does it become a lifestyle?

Post by Mr Pickle »

Saw this on another forum and it got me thinking.

How do you know if its a life thing or a kink?
I belive we are doing kink, but we've been at it 20 months and my wife is in no hurry to give it up.
Now I think of it, it was my idea to begin with, my kink, but it's my wife who sees that I'm not unlocked for too long.
Locked is my normal state, as in 2 months at a with a weeks break, but the breaks get shorter.
I have asked why bother putting it in a cage, we are so happy anyway? And my wife's reply was "because it makes me happy".
And it really does make her happy in a way I can't explain. Less preasure more control I think.
C does not like it if I'm not caged, as if something is wrong, and will not let me get too close until I have it on with keys teturned.

Is this not my kink any more? Honestly, it didn't even occur to me.
if it has changed I should imagine it was after my first few weeks out following my first long (3 month) stint. Because I argue less and I'm not an arse?
Im still not convinced I would say its a life style, athough I do know asking to stop would most likley be a No, or even worse.
Or is it?
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Me. "I only got 30 seconds, that's not fair". C. "life's not fair, suck it up" :(
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Tom Allen
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Re: At what point does it become a lifestyle?

Post by Tom Allen »

Mrs Edge and I have been into this for over twenty years, on and off, with me being lock "permanently" for the last three. For most of the times when I've been locked, we've had sex with me wearing a harness and Vixskin dildo. And since it is always her decsison when the cage gets removed, we've always gone for weeks or months at a time.

Mrs Edge does not identify as "kinky." She sees herself as a "normal" woman, maybe a bit on the vanilla side since she doesn't like all those BDSM things. But keeping me locked and using a strapon is totally natural to her.

In other words, I have no idea how to answer this question. 😅
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KittensBoyToy
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Re: At what point does it become a lifestyle?

Post by KittensBoyToy »

It was never considered a kink for us, At first was more of an experiment to see if it would curb my masturbation and porn addiction. Is male chastity a lifestyle? Not really, it is a fact of life and one component of living the lifestyle of a FLM.
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Kitten's Boy Toy
I'm Kitten's property and She keeps Her property secure in a Jail Bird!
Mr Pickle
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Re: At what point does it become a lifestyle?

Post by Mr Pickle »

But flm? I don't see myself as being any more than we were, as in "what she says goes" .. Didn't it always?
This way means less nagging etc. and a much better relationship.
C confirmed today that she considers this cage as a gift for her, a token of trust and more importantly a means to get her own way when need be, but im very pliable these days so there has been no need, and that Yes. The cage is a part of us now and always as far as she is concerned.
So. Most decisions are left to me because C prefers that. I dont feel like that side has changed. Or have they?
The cage is definitely part of our lifestyle now, I just wondered at what point this became the new must have.
Maybe it just became normal without noticing?
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Me. "I only got 30 seconds, that's not fair". C. "life's not fair, suck it up" :(
Panther1211
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Re: At what point does it become a lifestyle?

Post by Panther1211 »

We started this to make my wife confident that I was not cheating on her. So if I am not with her, I am always caged. But she has found she likes the control and teasing me when I am caged so it stays on much longer than I would like. But she has the key and she knows it. It is part of daily life now and I do not see it changing anytime soon.
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TinaHoldsTheKey
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Re: At what point does it become a lifestyle?

Post by TinaHoldsTheKey »

I remember about a year and a half ago I helped get another keyholder started. I called it a lifestyle and she asked me to explain. Here was my reply to her:
“I like to use the term lifestyle because doing it “every now and then” just isn’t as effective as doing it everyday. Don’t get wrong, especially for starters, a day off once a week or every few days is probably necessary to work your way into it.
But I wouldn’t allow more than a day off. It needs to be routine.
He needs your consistency.”

I think if it’s “daily”, it can still be considered kink, but it’s a lifestyle.
I relish my keyholder role and my hubby thrives on being locked up. :-)
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SteveOD
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Re: At what point does it become a lifestyle?

Post by SteveOD »

WE soon will be starting our 12th year of 24/7 chastity. Our main sexual lifestyle was a poly triad which lasted for most of our 48 years of marriage. When that ended due to a work relocation, we turned to chastity because my wife needs another women in bed with us to fully enjoy sex. I would say that it became our lifestyle after the first year because we kept doing it. However, we do not do it like there fantasy stories you read online which are nothing more than masturbation fodder. My wife is submissive by nature. She does not want to dominate me and wants a strong alpha male for her husband. I do not feel like doing all the housework or doing anything more than wearing a chastity cage all the time and make sex for my wife's pleasure only. Maybe that is why we have done it so long. We do not try to do any sexual fetish like we see online as there are no rule books and much of what you see online is there to jerk off to.
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