Why do you do it? Caged and keyholder alike..

Living the real life under lock and key
Obmon
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Why do you do it? Caged and keyholder alike..

Post by Obmon »

For me..

I'm fairly new.. A month in, wearing my steel cage off and on. It had to take it off more than I like because of chafing, pinching, and still trying to get the right.. 'sit', if you know what I mean. I still have a chafing wound, but I'm working through that minimal pain because I don't like it off.

This started because I met woman who just makes me feel like I want to submit to her and give her control. I like that a lot, though she isn't nearly as interested as I am, so it is mostly me doing it to myself. She might grow to like it more hopefully..

I hope to become pro level, so to speak. If it was up to me, I would always be wearing it, and it only comes off when she says (other than cleaning and maybe a nightly rest with no masturbation once or twice a month). The fun part of my current dynamic is that she is very forgetful and forgets I'm wearing it. I don't like to remind her!

Interestingly, I did not feel apprehensive or even cautious. Not from the first. Is that odd? I'm not sure.. I took to it like a fish to water and enjoyed it from the first.

As a man who used to masturbate and watch porn at the slightest provocation... Giving a woman I am in love with control makes the search for pleasure have meaning again. That's the point of it for me.. To focus on her.. To have that focus at all... It's worth the pain and denial. I believe I am not alone in these thoughts and goals.

I don't want permanent denial though. I want to have sex with my future wife often. I just get a kick out of knowing it will be on her terms, not mine. Just the thought makes me start to strain against my cage.

What are your reasons? I'm especially wanting to hear from keyholders what they enjoy about this dynamic and what made them agree or suggest it in the first place? I plan on having my goddess read the responses in the hopes she will get more excited.
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SteveOD
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Re: Why do you do it? Caged and keyholder alike..

Post by SteveOD »

My wife is my key holder. I am a sexual submissive. Up till 10 years ago we shared a woman who was my wife's lover and my Domme. We all got what we wanted and life was great. My wife cut me off of all forms of penetration which was OK because my cock got smaller with weight gain and medications made it impossible to get hard. Not having to fuck anyone was a relief because it was humiliating when I would fall out of their pussies. Not only was I asked if I came yet, I was also asked if a came yet because my dick was no longer in them when I came. Plus I am mostly into BDSM with S&M my main thing back then. Now I am old and my body cannot take being beaten till I bleed anymore.

10 years ago we moved away from our girlfriend. My wife discovered that sex without both a man and woman in bed with her, was not fun. She is bi but only wants girls for giving and getting orgasms. She does not get passionate with girls or do foreplay with them much. The whole story is long so I will keep it brief. My life was not monogamous or normal sexually. When we left her girlfriend 10 years ago my wife told met that she was no longer sexually attractive to me. Said she married a hot looking guy that made her girlfriends jealous and now I was fat and bald with a bad case of ED and a dick that has disappeared inside my body except for an inch that sticks out. Fat guys know what I mean when I say a fat pad envelopes your dick hiding most of it from sight.

So what to do since we both still loved each other. Chasity came to the rescue. My wife still came on her vibrator only and I jerked off laying next other after making out a bit. That got boring real fast and so I did what I usually do when sex got routine and boring. I found a new fetish and the only one we had not tried that is on Fetlife was chastity. A fetish I always thought was stupid. Call me stupid as chastity saved my marriage and took the orgasm denial I was already getting and turned it into a fun sexual fetish that fed my sexual masochistic needs. My wife grew to enjoy the power she had over me and making sex 100% for her pleasure only for real. That turned into less and less orgasms until 10 years later I was handing long term orgasm denial well. So WE decided it was time to do what my wife always wanted and make me orgasm free. This month is our 48th anniversary and my gift is being sex free too. We will make out fully dressed with no touching bare skin or below the belt, for me at least. She is planning on wearing sexy lingerie to add to my sexual arousal and frustration. Realistically I was not getting anything during sex but pain and hearing her cum. So doing away with what we called sex is no big deal for both of us. My wife gets to get horning making out and then has her orgasm in private. I get to unlock sometimes she can tease my cock a little.

We do not do chastity like the stories you read online or how those who live their sex lives online like to pretend word for word. Do you know how difficult it is to find a guy to fuck your wife while you watch? Not easy and even worse is trying to arrange a gang bang. The last one I was in was before I was married and the guys did not want to have sex in front of each other. They could not get hard and they ran a train on my girlfriend in our bedroom. Real life is different. My wife is not cruel to me. She does not order me about despite her role as leading our marriage. My wife does not want me to do household chores, kiss her feet or peg me. Last time I got pegged I ended up with a torn colon needing surgery to fix. We are normal outside the bedroom. I get teased before we retire for the night. I do not orgasm because my dick is locked up. I can always make myself cum and anything who thinks being locked up prevents them from masturbating is reading too much chastity porn. I do not cheat for two reasons. The first is that I would only be cheating myself and undoing all that I endured to get to this happy place. The second reason is the promise I made to my wife that I would not masturbate locked or not. My cage is like a wedding ring. It cannot stop my from fucking other women. It is there to remind me of my promise not to. That is it.

So, I get my sexual masochistic needs met in a way that does not leave welts, bruises and burn marks from cigarettes. My wife gets a husband that is pliable and who dare not anger her because he wants, needs, the teasing. It is not my chastity cage that keeps me from making myself cum. It is the promise I made to my wife and in payment of decades of sharing her girlfriends with me each and every time. Never brought home a girl who would not at least blow me. My wife likes how I am denied and hates how I get after I orgasm. Plus she no longer is not in our sex life anymore. She is in it in a way that works for her. No dick and no cum to deal with. Everyone is happy and my wife is having some of the most intense orgasms of her life and multiple ones at that. This is our lifestyle now. She cums a lot and I do not cum at all. We both enjoy it this way so why change it.
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Obmon
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Re: Why do you do it? Caged and keyholder alike..

Post by Obmon »

I have read a few of your other posts in the past few weeks Steve. I know I wouldn't enjoy the sort of dynamic that you do.. I want my wife to want me, always and would be very hurt if she didn't...

There are times though when control on a much deeper level is appealing to me. To be truly just her property. It's a hot thought.

Luckily, she is not a natural dom at all and most of the very limited chastity talk, which I limit as to not annoy her, is based on her trying to understand more or to get me to release because she is worried about me.

I really don't want to top from the bottom, but with as she is now, she would simply release me all the time, which defeats the purpose for me. But perhaps it's better that she is wary.. I get really emotionally carried away sometimes...

We'll see if she gets there eventually...

Interesting you mentioned cuckolding... I'm not fool enough to think the fantasy is a reality.. And even though we will go down that road very slowly, as far as I'm concerned, she has carte blanche. I just want to be her one love, but I'm perfectly happy for her to have fun elsewhere.

The goal is to love her unconditionally.

One final reply to your comment.. With my current base ring I can not masturbate. I get a semi but have to quickly rearrange my thoughts to prevent further pain. I guess my pain threshold isn't that high down there yet. In either case, I was lucky in that the first device I got is nearly a perfect fit.
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Tom Allen
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Re: Why do you do it? Caged and keyholder alike..

Post by Tom Allen »

Mrs Edge is not the introspective type, so whenever I've asked, she can't really describe what she gets out of this.

However, over the last 15 or 20 years that we've been into this, I've managed to understand that she enjoys the idea of having 100% control over that aspect of me. It's not just the denial, it's the caging that gets her.

Also, foxing (ie, me using the harness and strapon dildo) is especially good when she can feel the cage bumping her. We've tried foxing without the cage, and foxing with the cage tucked down. Nope, she wants to feel it.

The idea of a nub or micro cage is revolting to her. They look too neutering and she does not want an emasculated husband. She likes the cages that look penis shaped (tubes, etc) because it evokes in her the idea that she controls a masculine penis. She likes knowing that it still tries to get hard for her.

We've tried device less denial, but it's not the same.

So, for Mrs Edge, it comes down to she really enjoys the control aspect.

For me, I enjoy that it adds some kink to our otherwise vanilla life. Permanent denial isn't necessarily the kink I would have chosen had it been left up to me, 😅 but I have a pretty active imagination so I'm able to make this work.
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KittensBoyToy
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Re: Why do you do it? Caged and keyholder alike..

Post by KittensBoyToy »

We started chastity as a way to control my masturbation ad porn addiction that was on the verge of destroying a 45 year marriage. Not too far into the lifestyle I watched a sexual beast that we never new existed awaken in my bride. Over the last two years she has gone from my keyholder to my Domme and Mistress. She seems to enjoy her new role in our relationship more every day while I, on the other hand, struggle constantly with giving up my alpha lifestyle and become a true submissive.

These are the roles I want us to have going forward and I will ever stop trying to be the submissive I should be or seek to go back to the way things were.
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Kitten's Boy Toy
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Obmon
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Re: Why do you do it? Caged and keyholder alike..

Post by Obmon »

I wish you continued luck Steve. If you ever do get a solid answer regarding what your Mrs. gets out of it. I would love to read about. Yours is the hardest chastity situation I've heard of yet..

KittenBoyToy... What you say rings a bell with me. Before I met my keyholder and for many years I have been lost in a state of pointless and quick sexual pleasure seeking and I have had a real distaste for the dating scene and pretty much every woman I have met.. Coupled with depression... It was shit.

I don't want to go back to that emotional abyss. I developed a hate for myself from it.

This woman is the first woman I actually feel can be a meaningful and uplifting part of my life. It's why I so badly wanted to submit so fast despite no real desire for it before...

I have to say though.. I am in danger of losing her. She has her own issues that are taking a toll on our relationship.. It's all on her side as I am still just as dedicated... But as I rely on the Internet currently to reach her, if she leaves I will be in a right hot mess.

I can't go back to what I was. I can't uncage, or not have a keyholder. She has changed how I see myself and my life goals... I feel like I will be truly lost if I lose her..
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SteveOD
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Re: Why do you do it? Caged and keyholder alike..

Post by SteveOD »

You do not need to be erect to cum in a cage. Mine is a custom fit too and my wife made me cum once by simply holding her vibrator next to it. You can still jerk it back and forth because no matter how small the ring. your balls are going to stretch a bit. You can insert a swab in any opening and rub you penis until you cum. There are many ways to cum when locked that you learn when you are in long term chastity. I never get erect and yet I still cum, or use to. You can see all the ways guys cum in porn videos. It is not something that is difficult to do no matter your ring or penis size. Many years ago when my penis was sticking through all the openings in my Jailbird, my wife made me cum simply by jabbing it with her fingernails as she grabbed the cage. First thing I learned when I got into chastity was how to cum when locked up. No cage is going to stop you from coming. All I had to do is watch porn videos and see how easy it was to do. Just hold a vibrator against your cage. If you are denied orgasms long enough, you will cum very easily from any sort or stimulation without jerking anything. Have fun.

Obmon wrote: Sun Oct 11, 2020 5:25 am I have read a few of your other posts in the past few weeks Steve. I know I wouldn't enjoy the sort of dynamic that you do.. I want my wife to want me, always and would be very hurt if she didn't...

There are times though when control on a much deeper level is appealing to me. To be truly just her property. It's a hot thought.

Luckily, she is not a natural dom at all and most of the very limited chastity talk, which I limit as to not annoy her, is based on her trying to understand more or to get me to release because she is worried about me.

I really don't want to top from the bottom, but with as she is now, she would simply release me all the time, which defeats the purpose for me. But perhaps it's better that she is wary.. I get really emotionally carried away sometimes...

We'll see if she gets there eventually...

Interesting you mentioned cuckolding... I'm not fool enough to think the fantasy is a reality.. And even though we will go down that road very slowly, as far as I'm concerned, she has carte blanche. I just want to be her one love, but I'm perfectly happy for her to have fun elsewhere.

The goal is to love her unconditionally.

One final reply to your comment.. With my current base ring I can not masturbate. I get a semi but have to quickly rearrange my thoughts to prevent further pain. I guess my pain threshold isn't that high down there yet. In either case, I was lucky in that the first device I got is nearly a perfect fit.
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Obmon
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Re: Why do you do it? Caged and keyholder alike..

Post by Obmon »

SteveOD wrote: Sun Oct 11, 2020 3:48 pm You do not need to be erect to cum in a cage. Mine is a custom fit too and my wife made me cum once by simply holding her vibrator next to it. You can still jerk it back and forth because no matter how small the ring. your balls are going to stretch a bit. You can insert a swab in any opening and rub you penis until you cum. There are many ways to cum when locked that you learn when you are in long term chastity. I never get erect and yet I still cum, or use to. You can see all the ways guys cum in porn videos. It is not something that is difficult to do no matter your ring or penis size. Many years ago when my penis was sticking through all the openings in my Jailbird, my wife made me cum simply by jabbing it with her fingernails as she grabbed the cage. First thing I learned when I got into chastity was how to cum when locked up. No cage is going to stop you from coming. All I had to do is watch porn videos and see how easy it was to do. Just hold a vibrator against your cage. If you are denied orgasms long enough, you will cum very easily from any sort or stimulation without jerking anything. Have fun.
whoa...

For now.. I think i will stick to it..
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WifeIsVanilla
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Re: Why do you do it? Caged and keyholder alike..

Post by WifeIsVanilla »

I agree with SteveOD, but would add that vibrator induced,caged orgasms are not very pleasant. I only do that when I do not wish to unlock but feel my prostate needs some relief.
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Have worn: Curve & CB 6000s. Both broke, were repaired, broke, were repaired and then broke beyond repair.
Now mostly wearing my MM Jail Bird, occasionally alternating with my MM Watchful Mistress, Holy Trainer v3 & a second Curve.
Obmon
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Re: Why do you do it? Caged and keyholder alike..

Post by Obmon »

might be a solution for when things get all too swollen for comfort down there.
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