Initiating Sex in Chastity

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midlifelovelife
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Initiating Sex in Chastity

Post by midlifelovelife »

I am interested to learn about the experiences of other men when it comes to initiating sex while in chastity. I have made it clear to my wife that I want her to have control of my orgasms-- over when, how and if I can cum. As time passes between my orgasms, I, of course, get rather horny and ready for sex at almost any time. Since my wife doesn't have the same libido, I am always mindful that I could get pretty annoying with advances. Since starting to practice chastity, I have definitely become more passive in the bedroom, listening and watching for signs that she is open to sex. I think she knows how much I desire her, even without me getting all handsy and assertive. Last night was one such time and I was delighted that she wanted me to go down on her. She even wanted me to bring myself to climax while she fingered herself to a third orgasm.

Do other guys find they are now more passive in bed and less overt about the desire to have sex? Do you think that our wives and girlfriends ever miss the assertiveness? Does your partner think your advances are annoying or does she enjoy or even get turned on by your horny, frustrated state?
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Re: Initiating Sex in Chastity

Post by Excited+Scared1 »

Do other guys find they are now more passive in bed and less overt about the desire to have sex? Do you think that our wives and girlfriends ever miss the assertiveness? Does your partner think your advances are annoying or does she enjoy or even get turned on by your horny, frustrated state?
Mistress T is certainly taking a greater interest in things lately, and I don’t nag her at all. However, I do tend to say each day “Don’t forget you own my cock, erections, orgasms and all the sperm that you create by keeping me locked up for your pleasure. And having submitted to you I’m duty bound to pleasure you wherever, whenever and however you demand”.
She seems to appreciate my openness at her being in charge and just says “yes I know, thank you for reminding me” ...but then silence!!!
If there’s been no sexual activity during the evening, and after we’ve turned the lights out ready to sleep, I might throw in a “I’ll try not to keep you awake, but I’m so horny thinking about licking your beautiful pussy, f***ing you or just masturbating for you and coving you in cum, that I need to calm down before I can go to sleep”. This will solicit a chuckle In the darkness and a comment such as “Good luck with that” or “Sweet dreams” ...and then silence!!!

I will most often end the chat by saying “I love you - thank you for keeping me caged 😁”.

Being kept locked in a chastity cage with a KH that insists you are locked is an AMAZING experience. I hope everyone gets the chance to experience it 👍.
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LockedByBD
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Re: Initiating Sex in Chastity

Post by LockedByBD »

midlifelovelife wrote:
Mon Jul 27, 2020 7:21 am
Do other guys find they are now more passive in bed and less overt about the desire to have sex? Do you think that our wives and girlfriends ever miss the assertiveness? Does your partner think your advances are annoying or does she enjoy or even get turned on by your horny, frustrated state?
A few years ago my vanilla wife didn't really want anything to do with my chastity device. Prodding by me was met with disdain. I had to be passive in bed. I got into chastity partly because her libido really dropped off.

Fast forward a few years of patience by me and now she likes having me locked up. In fact I told her she could keep me locked as long as she likes, and at least once a week I ask her if she still likes having me locked. She always smiles and says yes! The difference is my attitude and helpfulness. Like others have written on this site, when your mind is focused on pleasing her she eventually sees the benefits.

As to passivity in bed... that's changed too. Now I'm not passive, I'm passionate. She likes it because she likes the affection, and she knows she's in control. Sometimes, on waking, she even plays with the bits that press through the bars of my steel device. Why? Because she knows it drives me wild. When she's done she tells me to go take the dog outside while she showers alone. That's another thing that's changed: I no longer get to shower with her. In fact, I never get to see her naked anymore. Figuratively speaking, she has me on a shorter leash than the dog! And I love it. Though I'm constantly horny, all I want to do is make her smile.
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Lady M
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Re: Initiating Sex in Chastity

Post by Lady M »

Personally, I am choosing to keep my hubby locked and denied and extremely horny and frustrated. Advances... Initiation comes naturally with that. I told my hubby if I didn't want him to be like that and to constantly want me, then I wouldn't be keeping him teased and denied and all that. I want to see that what I'm doing is frustrating him.

With that said, we had the conversation that he can, of course, initiate but he needs to understand that I may not be in the mood and he can't get upset when I say no.
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Pbtrader
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Re: Initiating Sex in Chastity

Post by Pbtrader »

As LockedByBD mentioned I am very passionate. When we retire for the night I always start with holding/cuddling her, massaging the side of her head and shoulders, we usually will have a nice session of kissing which before chastity I always expected that sex would occur so I would never start if I thought there was a chance of no sex, how much I missed out on. I found that one thing she really likes is knowing that all the sensual passionate activity really does not require effort on her part after a long day. There are times when she will give me signal that she wants more but also knows that when we wind down if she doesn't want anything more it is satisfying for her to wiggle against me and go to sleep.
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Just another guy
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Re: Initiating Sex in Chastity

Post by Just another guy »

I’ve been locked about 50% of the time since November. My wife can have multiple orgasms and is a squirter. I usually offer to make her cum a few times a day and she agrees more than half the time. I mean, who would say no to an orgasm? (Except us..😆)
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sirmebane
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Re: Initiating Sex in Chastity

Post by sirmebane »

When we first started, I was very grabby and loved to trap her in the master closet when she was half-dressed; I was the amorous husband. She was not ready for the transformation. I had to slow my roll or risk freaking her out.

Now I try really hard to not give her attention based on my desire because that would be too much. I do take the time to put my hand on her bottom and linger there or just take a quiet moment for a gentle kiss. I've tried to be less needy but always ready when she wants more.

As far as initiating anything, she always decides when and where and the latest is she decides the what. She has control over whether I'm unlocked, what attention she gets and what, if anything, that I'm offered.
Last edited by sirmebane on Sun Aug 02, 2020 2:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Initiating Sex in Chastity

Post by Excited+Scared1 »

Lady M wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 7:04 am
Personally, I am choosing to keep my hubby locked and denied and extremely horny and frustrated. Advances... Initiation comes naturally with that. I told my hubby if I didn't want him to be like that and to constantly want me, then I wouldn't be keeping him teased and denied and all that. I want to see that what I'm doing is frustrating him.

With that said, we had the conversation that he can, of course, initiate but he needs to understand that I may not be in the mood and he can't get upset when I say no.
I really enjoy your contribution as a key holder Lady M. I’d love to see more key holders posting in the main section with ideas and their thoughts about us willingly cock locked chastity lovers.
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