Imposed Chastity Ruining Marriage-HELP

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Chastityat61
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Re: Imposed Chastity Ruining Marriage-HELP

Post by Chastityat61 » Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:23 am

Seems to me after reading all the posts, you have been given the best advice one could possibly ask for. The going forward is now up to you. If you're so inclined, let us know how things worked out. Best to you both.
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Lady M
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Re: Imposed Chastity Ruining Marriage-HELP

Post by Lady M » Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:02 pm

This is part of a relationship like any other part of a relationship and there needs to be communication. Someone cannot force you to do something you genuinely do not want to do.

I was going to just comment that it sounds like a chastity contract or even a D/s contract may be something you need but the more I thought about it and the more there needs to be a serious discussion about what is and is not a limit when it comes to your relationship.
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Jon Descer
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Re: Imposed Chastity Ruining Marriage-HELP

Post by Jon Descer » Sat Jan 25, 2020 3:15 am

Yeah, this is quite bizarre. Even among the chastity community, it's rare for someone to just not want to be played with, or have sex, or masturbate, at all, period. That almost makes me wonder if there's a physical or psychological problem, like maybe she doesn't actually like sex itself and has come to dimly realize she gets all she needs from just being aroused and from personal intimacy with you, but she's not really put all the pieces together. Or she has an iron will and just loves being horny as heck, and if that's the case, maybe you could come up with a compromise, like you have sex together but you stop before she orgasms (great time to explore anal, as most women won't come from that alone). A dom who likes edging her own brains out before topping others doesn't seem too far-fetched.

There is also, and I hate to say it but someone has to say it, the possibility that she's cheating on you. I know you already said you have a form of open relationship, and that's fine, but suddenly cutting your partner off from sex while still being nice and cuddly is often a sign that one is getting all the sex one needs from someone else, so not just some chastity play or fooling around, but straight-up replacing you. There's also a lot of crossover between chastity porn/fantasy and cuckoldry, forced-bi, and sissification, and if she is just recently getting into the scene, she might have some plan or vision along those lines, or she has outright convinced herself that you just don't deserve sex from her.

Sorry to be a downer, I just wanted to put that out there. A counselor does indeed sound necessary, or another trusted party, if you can't get her to agree to see a counselor, at least until you two can lay out for each other exactly what you want. And while someone else was correct when pointing out that withdrawing consent for you to touch her is 100% her right, it's also the case that refusing to have sex with your partner for extended periods, without a valid reason, is a form of emotional abuse. There's a lot of subs here and I think all of us can attest to the fact that subs always have to be careful to recognize the difference between being submissive and having our boundaries pushed a little, and being taken advantage of. You have to be willing to put your foot down, as a dom has to earn your submission, on an ongoing basis, just like a spouse has to earn your love and affection everyday, or you love on your kids everyday.
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