How to tell her not to stop the denial

Living the real life under lock and key
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Beard
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How to tell her not to stop the denial

Post by Beard » Fri Jan 10, 2020 7:12 pm

It's been roughly three weeks since my wife and I started this journey of denial. On weekends she's been teasing me and getting pretty fantastic Os in return. It's normally difficult for me to talk to her about anything sexual (summoning the courage to ask to try this in the first place nearly caused a brain aneurism) but last weekend, I couldn't help but tell her how amazing it felt when she came in my arms again and again, while I was SO desperate and denied. This weekend, I told her it's completely up to her if I cum and I SO desperately want her to decide not to. But I'm so conflicted. The last thing I want is to push things to far/fast/whatever.
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mrrigid
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Re: How to tell her not to stop the denial

Post by mrrigid » Sat Jan 11, 2020 9:28 am

You're wise to be cautious. Especially in the first month, let her move forward at her pace.
One thing I can promise - even if you do come, you'll be back to feeling this way soon enough! Enjoy your trip down the rabbit-hole!
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Beard
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Re: How to tell her not to stop the denial

Post by Beard » Sat Jan 11, 2020 10:32 am

My worst fear is that she'll regard this as a one-time thing and if that's the case, I feel like I'll be back to square one.
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Tessasissy
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Re: How to tell her not to stop the denial

Post by Tessasissy » Sat Jan 11, 2020 12:07 pm

I know the feeling, though I have let my wife decide. We agreed I will never ask her for release and that it is upto her If, when and how I get an orgasm. In the first two weeks I got one each weekend. Then she left it three weeks! She knows I was feeling horny. Non of these orgasms where PIV. All done hands bound and blind folded with her manually getting me there. It has now been 8 days since my last O and I am hoping she will extend it again this time but I have no idea and can't ask.

Have you thought about writing a note to her if it's hard to talk about it just, saying how happy you are with the situation and that you hope she is feeling the benefit to and suggesting the same sort of rule, if she knows you will not bring it up she is under no perceived pressure either way. Once she gets used to it and the fact that you will not ask about your own release you will proabley find over time naturally she will just leave you locked longer and longer. Especially if she is getting all the attention she needs!

I am hoping that the more natural and normal it sem over time, that my wife will become more and used to being in charge! Without it creating any pressure on her.
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Beard
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Re: How to tell her not to stop the denial

Post by Beard » Sat Jan 11, 2020 2:55 pm

The idea of writing a note has crossed my mind. Maybe I should try that. At least that way I can edit out anything dumb I might say, lol. She doesn't like to talk about sex unless we're about to have it or just did. So maybe I'll write it and have her read it right before. I've heard/read so many stories where the wife is just like, "Great! What are you asking for now?" because he keeps making requests for stff. I SOOOOO don't want that. What I'd really like is to stay in denial until Valentine's day.
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Tessasissy
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Re: How to tell her not to stop the denial

Post by Tessasissy » Sat Jan 11, 2020 6:51 pm

I started off by writing to my wife as you can make sure your words are spot on. Always think it through from her point off view. I would not set any requests for time constraints that's topping from the bottom. Just concentrate on how you think it is improving your relationship, how much you love her and how much you hope she feels the same. Let her know you expect nothing in return just that you want to make her life better.

I am just hoping that it progresses with my wife and that she decides over time that she is happier this way and gradually takes more control naturally.

She has all the keys which are in an electronic key safe to which I have no access at all. Yesterday she joked she had lost all the keys!!!

So just letting it work naturally rather than forcing it might just work.

Not sure if any of that is of any help at all.
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Beard
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Re: How to tell her not to stop the denial

Post by Beard » Sat Jan 11, 2020 11:39 pm

'Progressing naturally' is definitely the goal. She wasn't feeling well today, so I'll have to wait and see how she's doing tomorrow. I think I need to just talk to her. Letters are great, but I feel like it would just make things awkward. I'm definitely going to write it all down, read and re-read it all, and then when the time is right just gently broach the subject during foreplay. Please, everybody lend me all of your good luck and positive vibes. So nervous already.
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TwistedMister
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Re: How to tell her not to stop the denial

Post by TwistedMister » Sun Jan 12, 2020 12:26 pm

Beard wrote:
Sat Jan 11, 2020 11:39 pm
'Progressing naturally' is definitely the goal. She wasn't feeling well today, so I'll have to wait and see how she's doing tomorrow. I think I need to just talk to her. Letters are great, but I feel like it would just make things awkward. I'm definitely going to write it all down, read and re-read it all, and then when the time is right just gently broach the subject during foreplay. Please, everybody lend me all of your good luck and positive vibes. So nervous already.
What I'd really like is to stay in denial until Valentine's day.
Perhaps, 'when the time is right', you should say this directly, perhaps something in the manner of "Honey, I think it would be fun if you didn't let me cum until Valentine's Day, no matter how much it might seem that I want to at any particular time before. What do you think?"
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04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted

ks67
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Re: How to tell her not to stop the denial

Post by ks67 » Mon Jan 13, 2020 5:17 am

An orgasm after 2 or 3 weeks of being denied feels incredible. But I too wish my wife would make me go longer. Sometimes I tell her I feel more and more devoted to her the longer I go without cumming. So sometimes she jokes and says Ok wait 100 days but she has never gone longer than 3 weeks. The bottom line is that she is the one who decides and I keep comments about going longer to a minimum. Must be careful not to ruin a good thing
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Beard
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Re: How to tell her not to stop the denial

Post by Beard » Mon Jan 13, 2020 3:41 pm

I'm really quite amazed with how supportive everyone here is. It's really blowing my mind. ...Anyway, she had a headache Saturday and had to go in the field on Sunday, so no fun either day. Has a lot of work today and tomorrow, too. So we won't do anything until Wednesday or Thursday. ...which is sorta fortunate, because it gives me the timf to work up the nerve to tell her. I did write a note, and it's in my pocket. I figure if my nerve breaks and I can'tsay it out loud, I'll just fall back on the note.

I'm still very new to all this. I had no freaking idea that I would in fact feel more loving and attentive towards her. And I have no idea why I'm obsessed with keeping the house clean all of a sudden. But I don't want to mention any of that to her. She's super observant, so I want to let her notice it all and see it as a benifit on her own.

Gods... Like, I'm trying to temper my expectations, but if I'm too pessimistic I know I'll just wimp out. It's very stressful!
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