How to broach the topic of trying again.

Living the real life under lock and key
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Mr Pickle
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How to broach the topic of trying again.

Post by Mr Pickle » Sun Dec 22, 2019 5:09 am

Ok.
My wife held the key for nearly a month.
Most of this time was great. My wife seemed to be enjoying the extra attention, asked for leg rubs and sang "I got the key" when ever I started to argue etc. It all seemed to go well. But the key came back to me and I've waited a while before wanting to broach the subject again.

I did chat with my wife to find out why it hadn’t worked out.
Mainly because I had started asking for more. Things she wasn't happy with.
As follows.
Asking her to carry the key rather than just keeping it somewhere.
Asking her to deny me.
Dropping the odd coment about being locked up.
And. She didn't want yet another responsibly. She likes that I'm usually in control. Didnt really want this.

So I self lock. And I decide when and hiw long. Sometimes this doesn't suit her but it isn't a problem.

Cage. No problem. She sees the benefits.
It become a new normal.


I had always assumed my Wife was in control of our sex lives. She is the one to say yes or no after all. But I admit my wife will rarely say no even if she isn't in the mood she will always offer something.
i think she sees it as a simple way to keep me happy?
At the same time my wife doesnt see sex as something she needs and could very happily go through life without it. But she does enjoy it. Its a pleasure. Not a need or requirement.
So the litre of more orgasms has no appeal to her.
However my wife is not as vanilla as she pretends to be.
The chores and house work is something she likes to do her way. Ive tried to help and she appriciates the gesture but please let me do it. This is who I want to be. You go build or fix something.

It might help if I can find some benefit to her that makes sense.

So. I'm getting to a good time to broach the topic again. My wife knows I was upset at getting the key back and I'm sure there will be a way to try again if I present it correctly and on the right terms.

I won't be be given much time to talk before she becomes bored and shuts it down. She will not read anything I write. In fact she would be horrified if I created written stuff that could be discovered by the kids etc and evidence we are not a normal couple.

So I get one chance.
One line. To say.
"Lets try again and this time I won't be such a dick"

Any ideas?
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Tom Allen
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Re: How to broach the topic of trying again.

Post by Tom Allen » Sun Dec 22, 2019 8:35 am

"Listen, it's something that's exciting to me and I really enjoy it when I feel that you're part of it with me. I'd really like to try it again, and I'll work very hard to not be such a dick about it this time."
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slave d
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Re: How to broach the topic of trying again.

Post by slave d » Sun Dec 22, 2019 4:06 pm

To me the biggest thing is to actually give Her control and then shut the £¥?, up and leave Her to it. Be attentive, do things well, make life great for Her and don’t say anything about chastity, orgasms, sex, ....... anything !!! Let Her come to you about the next steps not the other way round. i think we men tend to think that handing over the key will also make our Keyholder into the randy pervert we have always been ..... it won’t. The only certain thing is it will take much much longer to get things anything like the way you want them to be and in the end they should be the way She wants them to be rather than you !!!

The he turning point for us was when MsM finally decided to try using a dildo instead of the “real thing” and had Her first multiple orgasm ... ever !! That really made Her sit up and take notice. Not saying that happens for everybody but somewhere along the line it needs to “click” for Her. Leave Her alone and give Her time to find that point !!

Good luck

MsM’s ld
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Tom Allen
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Re: How to broach the topic of trying again.

Post by Tom Allen » Mon Dec 23, 2019 1:37 pm

The chores and house work is something she likes to do her way. Ive tried to help and she appriciates the gesture but please let me do it. This is who I want to be. You go build or fix something.
I'm going to throw this out there, something that goes against pretty much every post on "how to get your wife to..." that I've seen written.

Almost all of those posts (web forums, Tumblr, etc.) are written by men who have this idea in their head that "it's all about HER." That's complete bullshit, and you (and anyone else reading this) should do your best to forget about ever having read it.

It's not about her, it's about you and your dick. Seriously, there is absolutely nothing that you can do for her with half a pound of metal and plastic on your junk that you can't do without it. There is nothing about laundry, dish washing, vacuuming, grocery shopping, cooking, or anything else that is more easily done locked up.

Instead, just be honest and upfront. "The idea makes me really aroused, and I'd really love it if you found it in your heart to participate." That is, essentially, what is going on. It doesn't have to be a D/s thing, it doesn't have to be a housework thing (unless you make it so). It's just something fun and sexy that you'd like her to explore.
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Bird in a Cage
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Re: How to broach the topic of trying again.

Post by Bird in a Cage » Tue Dec 24, 2019 11:26 am

Tom Allen wrote:
Mon Dec 23, 2019 1:37 pm
...It's not about her, it's about you and your dick.
Yup. That about sums up this entire forum!
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mrrigid
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Re: How to broach the topic of trying again.

Post by mrrigid » Tue Dec 24, 2019 3:46 pm

Our wives sound somewhat similar - she'll abide any kinkiness I impose on myself, but she doesn't want another 'to do' item.
And that's okay - these are years-long projects for many guys (and their dicks). We're about 8 years in and my wife is still growing comfortable with her occasional dominance. But be patient - the wait has been worth it!
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Mr Pickle
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Re: How to broach the topic of trying again.

Post by Mr Pickle » Sat Dec 28, 2019 2:03 pm

Thanks fot that. Makes sense.
Im just biding my time. Hopefully within the next few weeks Iwe will have a conversation about what I would like and how how much it would men to me if she would help make this happen for me.
My wife always seems more agreeable if I start on a negative. I.e. "I expect you to say No and that's ok. I will understand"
I think she wants to prove me wrong. Or at least show herself to be better than my expectations.

Bribery. Trickery. Doesn't work.
Once I said "How about tou take this key, and I'll take tou out to lunch and then go shopping?"
My wife replied "Yes please. Lunch and a shopping trip would be nice thankyou. I'm sure I deserve it. I'll get my coat"

The key bit was totally dismissed lol.
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Mr Pickle
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Re: How to broach the topic of trying again.

Post by Mr Pickle » Sun Jan 12, 2020 7:31 am

I am now very proudly key held once again.
Let the journey continue in hope, for we know not what lies ahead.
Many thanks for the help.
1 x

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