I miss chastity

Living the real life under lock and key
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attentive_husband
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I miss chastity

Post by attentive_husband » Fri May 17, 2019 3:05 am

My wife kept me in chastity, for longer and longer periods (max 110 days), over the last 3 years. It was both utter agony and the most intense sexual highs of my life. And she recently ended it.

I've been about a month out of chastity so it's sort of settled down to a new normal. And what do I think.

Well making love with my wife and having orgasms - definitely love that. A lot.

But I miss the intense yearning, I miss being totally completely consumed by my desire for my wife. I miss the intense kissing and hugging that would continue until our mouths were raw.

We've never had, even when much younger, this level of intensity, of desire, and of connection, both emotionally and physically.

But for her it became overwhelming. And I get that - the intensity is nice at times but it never turned off for me and that meant she was always receiving it. And I feeling at times that she had reciprocate even when she wanted to have a quiet relaxing moment. And something us guys will never understand, she wanted fewer orgasms.

It's a giant trade-off. For each of us. For her, the plus of chastity is she has me totally focused on her and infatuated with her. The negative is that is always on - there's no rest. For me, the plus of chastity is being consumed by my wife - I can't stop thinking about her. And I loved being owned by her. And the sexual intensity of course. The negative is that I really missed orgasms. Driving me insane at times missed them.

So if I got to pick, which would it be? Chastity. Without a doubt chastity. (Although many times I would question that decision after being locked up.) Why? Because it is so amazing to be totally consumed by the woman I love. It's an unmatched sexual high too, but even more so is the emotional intensity.

Chastity was never a kink of mine before we tried this. I never would have predicted I even would like it. And yet now, after experiencing it, it is so much better for our relationship.

I understand how being on the receiving end of this can be too much. Especially as we're not (that) young anymore. And in a FLR, that means we do what she wants.

But I miss it - so much.
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locked4her55
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Re: I miss chastity

Post by locked4her55 » Fri May 17, 2019 7:56 am

Hopefully this is a temporary thing. Earlier this year I was out for almost a month. She needed a break and I being the good obedient husband complied. Well into the 3rd week she told me as we climbed into bed, "hope you enjoyed your time out because in the morning before I go to work you'll be locking back up".

Maybe your wife will surprise you too when you least expect it.

If it does happen, and I know it's hard (pun intended) I found that smothering her all the time was a negative effect on the whole thing. We are sometimes consumed in chastity, for them it's just another day.
2 x
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Steve2059
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Re: I miss chastity

Post by Steve2059 » Sat May 18, 2019 4:33 am

Very sorry to hear this. I know in my own relationship I still have to tread a careful path: She now enjoys most of our chastity-related stuff but I'm very aware that if things became a burden to her She'd pull the plug.

One of our core rules is that I must never initiate sex or intimacy if caged (pretty much all the time at the moment), or initiate any conversation about being caged/uncaged, even if I think I might burst my metal rings; it's part of what She calls Best Behaviour. It's a turnaround from pre-chastity days when I always initiated things, so for Her part, She's now more honest about what She wants rather than waiting for me to make a move (which I can't). But the waiting and denial, and above all, hoping, is part of the thing for me.

I hope, like lockedforher, that you can reset things; but honest communication will be key, with her setting rules and limits so she's not pushed further than she'd like.
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Devoted2Her
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Re: I miss chastity

Post by Devoted2Her » Sat May 18, 2019 11:49 am

It is a really weird dichotomy... that we have been much more sexual since I have asked for 'chastity'. I constantly worry about putting too much pressure on @IveGotTheKey which is the last thing I want to do.

I have been locked up pretty much since the beginning of February and while still young our chastity relationship is still evolving.

We aren't as into me giving her oral as often as in the beginning (it was pretty much every night), I have let her set the pace and letting it be 'on demand'.

She has become more playful vocally about teasing me in my cage and let's me know when it is OK to cum and I like that.

She is also receptive to taking it further and is going to do some reading on FLR and femdom. Which excites the hell out of me and makes me wonder what the future holds.

We have settled into a new normal and I like it, I also like that there is hope for it to change and for our relationship to evolve more.

I have accepted that at this point I have to go at her pace, if she told me tomorrow that she wanted the cage gone, I would have to just deal with it, because this is what I asked for. I understand that this is my kink and my idea, but that my kink is to let her have control!
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Slave Richard
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Re: I miss chastity

Post by Slave Richard » Wed May 29, 2019 10:37 am

Steve2059 wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 4:33 am
One of our core rules is that I must never initiate sex or intimacy if caged (pretty much all the time at the moment), or initiate any conversation about being caged/uncaged, even if I think I might burst my metal rings; it's part of what She calls Best Behaviour. It's a turnaround from pre-chastity days when I always initiated things, so for Her part, She's now more honest about what She wants rather than waiting for me to make a move (which I can't). But the waiting and denial, and above all, hoping, is part of the thing for me.
I believe like Steve2059 said, that this is a very important rule, and we also have this rule, with the exception of me being allowed to initiate something once a week, but if she's not in the mood, then I have to accept that and try again next week. One thing I might add, that helped us a lot. My fiance and Mistress can at any time request a break for one week, and then during this week, all our rules fall away and we are like a normal couple, expect I am still locked up. So everything else is 100% normal, besides me being locked up. During this week I am not allowed to mention chastity, I am not even allowed to show that I am horny. If I break any of these rules, it is met with an extreme punishment when the week is up. The week is absolutely hell for me, being horny but not even being allowed to show it, but in the end it's very beneficial. What is fun to note is that around day 5 she actually starts teasing me subtly, seeing how I react and this lets me know that she misses teasing me.
2 x
Owned by my beautiful Fiance and Mistress. Been in chastity on and off since 2015. This time it will probably be more on than off.

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attentive_husband
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Re: I miss chastity

Post by attentive_husband » Sat Jun 08, 2019 7:39 am

Well we're back to me in chastity (I showed her this post) and have instituted the rule that I can't initiate things.

And you're right - it's hell not being able to initiate. Although I am allowed to comment about how horny & desperate I am - she likes hearing that.
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Steve2059
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Re: I miss chastity

Post by Steve2059 » Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:55 am

Very pleased for you. Communication is everything so that you can attend to issues before they become terminal to your chastity. Bottom line is that it should be advantageous for her, whether it's not being pestered for sex or getting the housework done (and why not both!).

One word of advice would be to take care that communicating your horniness must never be interpretable by her as initiating or pestering: then you'd be back to square one.
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