Matrix of chastity

Living the real life under lock and key
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Tom Allen
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Re: Matrix of chastity

Post by Tom Allen » Wed Mar 06, 2019 8:37 am

I didn't really have anything in mind here. I guess I started thinking in very general terms when I saw some discussions on the use of the term "permanent chastity," and how some people were disagreeing on it. For example, some people use the term permanent to mean that they are always locked up, although they may be let out for frequent teasing or orgasms (for some value of "frequent"). Others insisted that the term should apply more to the idea of denial; that is, if you're in permanent chastity, then the cage never should come off. Those conversations usually devolve into a dick-measuring contest of who wears their hunk of metal the longest or most consistently.

I guess I was hoping to come up with a better way to describe the chastity/denial concept by describing it along several axes or dimensions or something.
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Re: Matrix of chastity

Post by Devoted2Her » Wed Mar 06, 2019 9:04 am

@Tom Allen

Like everything else in life the same labels, ideas and concepts mean a multitude of things to different people. My adventure is mine, yours is yours, no less real for either one of us and although their are commonalities the differences are what make it work for all of us individually. I just hope we don't faction up and decide to exclude based on how or why and bring judgement into the equation. People tend to do that here in the good ole USA
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Tom Allen
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Re: Matrix of chastity

Post by Tom Allen » Wed Mar 06, 2019 10:20 am

I just hope we don't faction up and decide to exclude based on how or why and bring judgement into the equation.
You must be new to the internet. ;-)
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Re: Matrix of chastity

Post by Devoted2Her » Wed Mar 06, 2019 1:34 pm

@Tom Allen .... HA HA ..... I say that because of the Internet! 😎
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gilesenglish
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Re: Matrix of chastity

Post by gilesenglish » Thu Mar 07, 2019 4:14 am

This is fascinating, and perhaps getting a bit like Myers Briggs. It could be useful because it would encourage people to ask why chastity, before plunging in with advice about protocol and keyholding.

The biggest either/or I perceive is About Unlocking/About Being Locked

In the most visible form of our fetish, the point of chastity is the unlocking: somebody or something controls it. In a relationship the keyholder may use chastity as leverage, or for effectively extreme flirting, but the either way, the lockee is focused on his eventual release.

However, for a lot of wearers, especially couples (and I suspect, secretly for many keyholders), and of course for some trans folk, chastity is about being locked. It's body modification lite. There's no real drive on either party to unlock except for practical or health reasons.
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Re: Matrix of chastity

Post by Tom Allen » Thu Mar 07, 2019 9:08 am

The biggest either/or I perceive is About Unlocking/About Being Locked
This ties into my thoughts that some people are in it for the control, while others seem to be in it for the denial.

Again, I may be approaching this the wrong way, this is really thinking aloud.
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Re: Matrix of chastity

Post by Schnoff » Thu Mar 07, 2019 1:41 pm

Good point, and —- denial of what? Genital pleasure? Orgasm? Which is to say, that also varies.
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Re: Matrix of chastity

Post by gilesenglish » Fri Mar 08, 2019 4:28 am

Tom Allen wrote:
Thu Mar 07, 2019 9:08 am
The biggest either/or I perceive is About Unlocking/About Being Locked
This ties into my thoughts that some people are in it for the control, while others seem to be in it for the denial.

Again, I may be approaching this the wrong way, this is really thinking aloud.
Oh I see where you're (not :D ) coming from!

I don't feel like I'm subject to denial, because it's not about, "LOL you can't come." However, if denial is a spectrum, then, yes, we are on the extreme end of it.
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Re: Matrix of chastity

Post by Steve2059 » Fri Mar 08, 2019 10:09 am

I think there are so many vectors one could consider that there's little danger of "factioning up" since we'd all pretty much find ourselves in factions of one person :-)
I've come to the view that chastity is a more wide-ranging fetish than most, but with a couple of "anchor points", if you will, that do create commonality (though even these aren't 100% applicable).
The first of these is orgasm denial to varying degrees, otherwise the term "chastity" would be inapplicable and we'd be calling ourselves something else. This is separate to sexual activity including PIV (or indeed PI whatever orifice suits one). The range seems to be rather fewer orgasms than if not involved, to permanent denial.
Second is control of our genitals in one form or another, more often by caging but also by self-control. A keyholder is either employed or, if not, is usually much missed and desired. This control can also be more wide-ranging and can move into other aspects of daily life (as in my own case where performing chores and other tasks while naked is part of it for me).
Third is gender. We are overwhelmingly male for some reason and female participation is usually as keyholder or in another role of control. Further, females generally participate at our request (often after much effort and persuasion). Talking to my wife, while she enjoys being my keyholder and having control, if I stopped tomorrow she'd be cool with that (except for the chores). Plus, the idea of opting out of her own orgasms deffo doesn't appeal to her.
Fourth is age. Most of us are pretty mature (at least in terms of years lol). While when young I never knew this kink even existed, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have appealed to me then.
For me personally, chastity works on two levels in that orgasm denial is really my thing, but also because it works well with my other fetishes and kinks, which are all linked with sexual submissiveness.
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Re: Matrix of chastity

Post by Tom Allen » Fri Mar 08, 2019 10:52 am

I like how you're fleshing this out a bit.
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