Giving Chastity and weight loss a try

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Lockedchef
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Giving Chastity and weight loss a try

Post by Lockedchef » Tue Oct 23, 2018 9:30 pm

TLDR at bottom.

Back on January 1st I found myself weighing 252 pounds at 36 years old. Mind you I'm 6'5" so I carry it well but I was over weight and had way too big of a belly. Being a chef doesn't help either, food is my life in everyway. I decided to change that and started trying to work on diet and seeing where it went. A month later I got serious about it and by May 1st I hit my goal and got down to 225. That was awesome I felt great but I made the same mistakes everyone does and got complacent. Summer rolled around, vacations, and the like and I knew I had put some weight back on

I stepped on the scale today and bam 242. Not as bad as it was but time to make some changes and get serious about it. Then I thought why does it have to be serious let's make it fun. 10 weeks left until January 1s, I want to weigh 225 on New Year's Day, only 17 pounds to lose. 1.7 pounds a week on average. That's a healthy and realistic goal I believe. Might be easy some weeks and tough others.

We haven't used the caged much lately but I convinced my wife to get on board and make a game out of it. If I meet my weekly check-in I got unlocked and a reward. If I haven't met my goal no cumming for me that week.

However if and when she gets her period no unlocking no matter what and my best hope for physical interaction is giving her a massage.

We aren't too strict with lock ups and rules, this is a first attempt at even setting longer term lockup and release schedules. We are going to try to keep it fun over all anyway. If she's wants me out for whatever reason she gets what she wants and she can change the rules about release at anything.

I think it will give me a little extra motivation to get healthy, do something to keep my honest about my weight, and have some fun in the meantime.

We've been happily married for 10 years and on and off with Chastity for 4 years. I still wish she would get a little more aggressive and dominant with lock ups but she is who she is. Our kids are little so that's always a challenge too but we do our best.

We don't really do punishments so long term denial is biggest threat. When I'm not locked I admit I still end up getting off once or twice a day them the whole cycle of regret and feeling like I'm taking away from her and I starts all over again, bleh bleh bleh. Like you all know the plus side of being locked prevents all of that.

Sitting here though I realize what I just did though. I gave up 50+ orgasms for probably 8 at best the rest of the year. Could be a new record, we will see.

If I meet my goal not sure what that will mean as far as this goes. Maybe we'll find a new game to play.

Sorry for the longish rambling post. Thanks for stopping by.

TL;DR. Got fat again, trying to lose weight. Only get to cum if I meet my goal. Wish me luck
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locked4her55
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Re: Giving Chastity and weight loss a try

Post by locked4her55 » Wed Oct 24, 2018 7:32 am

Lockedchef wrote:
Tue Oct 23, 2018 9:30 pm
When I'm not locked I admit I still end up getting off once or twice a day
Geee, I hope that's not the "secret sauce"? :lol:

Best of luck with your goal.
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KittensBoyToy
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Re: Giving Chastity and weight loss a try

Post by KittensBoyToy » Wed Oct 24, 2018 8:26 am

locked4her55 wrote:
Wed Oct 24, 2018 7:32 am
Lockedchef wrote:
Tue Oct 23, 2018 9:30 pm
When I'm not locked I admit I still end up getting off once or twice a day
Geee, I hope that's not the "secret sauce"? :lol:

Best of luck with your goal.
That thought hit me, too. Guess dirty minds think alike! :oops:

Good luck with the weight loss, Lockedchef. Maybe 10 weeks of enforced chastity by your wife will cause more changes in your behavior toward her and she will see the benefits of becoming more dominant and aggressive about continuing. You might just get what you are wishing for.... :o
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Schnoff
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Re: Giving Chastity and weight loss a try

Post by Schnoff » Wed Oct 24, 2018 9:08 am

You know, dissenting voice here, because reasons: Dominant need not mean aggressive. A team-based model of dominance works well in a committed, live-in, long-term relationship. That is, a marriage. Not to say dominants can’t be adversarial or aggressive. That’s a valid model as well.

As for weight loss: I feel you. We’ve both been at this for years. I find that changing “what you eat” to a more sustainable model works well, and tracking macros works well. Fitocracy is one place where you can find coaches that use this evidence-based weight loss model. My experience is that fad or crash diets don’t work, but modifying habits for the long term does work.
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Lockedchef
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Re: Giving Chastity and weight loss a try

Post by Lockedchef » Wed Oct 24, 2018 9:52 am

locked4her55 wrote:
Wed Oct 24, 2018 7:32 am
Lockedchef wrote:
Tue Oct 23, 2018 9:30 pm
When I'm not locked I admit I still end up getting off once or twice a day
Geee, I hope that's not the "secret sauce"? :lol:

Best of luck with your goal.
Lol, we do have a lot of sophmoric humor in the kitchen but none of that sauce. At one point I had Coq Au Vin, Weinerschnitzle, and Meatballs on the menu. I didn't realize what I did until one of my cooks told me we got an order in for cock, balls, and weiner. It quickly went downhill from there
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Lockedchef
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Re: Giving Chastity and weight loss a try

Post by Lockedchef » Wed Oct 24, 2018 10:10 am

Schnoff wrote:
Wed Oct 24, 2018 9:08 am
You know, dissenting voice here, because reasons: Dominant need not mean aggressive. A team-based model of dominance works well in a committed, live-in, long-term relationship. That is, a marriage. Not to say dominants can’t be adversarial or aggressive. That’s a valid model as well.

As for weight loss: I feel you. We’ve both been at this for years. I find that changing “what you eat” to a more sustainable model works well, and tracking macros works well. Fitocracy is one place where you can find coaches that use this evidence-based weight loss model. My experience is that fad or crash diets don’t work, but modifying habits for the long term does work.
Along the dominate lines what I wish is she would get a little more vocal with her "No you aren't cumming" along those lines. Just even the talk and interaction of it. We are both a bit hesitant to outright say what we want. Easier in a text message, something I should work on to. Even after being together for 10+ years still feel a little judged asking for something new in bed.

She has gotten better with initiating sex in the past couple years. Like most guys more is never enough with me. To be clear though I'm not looking for any BDSM stuff beyond being locked up just more talk. Like I said before we are happy and she is awesome.

Being a chef I know food and nutrition very well. Even spent 4 years and way too much money on a fancy degree for it. I know it is all changing habits that makes long term weight loss and over all health the only way it sticks.

It's funny though how a little cage can act as a catalyst for change. It always seems to make me focus just a little better and work on improving myself in a few ways and stop being selfish. Weather it is personal habits, health, sex, and even things around the house. It isn't necessary of course but it helps. Some people were a rubber band around their wrist to remember things, we just take it a step further with stainless steel on ourselves.
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Bird in a Cage
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Re: Giving Chastity and weight loss a try

Post by Bird in a Cage » Wed Oct 24, 2018 10:28 am

Gamification. By turning a rather tedious task (weight loss) into a game—with the incentive of desirable rewards, you’ve turned this into a game. There is a lot of research showing that gamification changes the mindset of the “player” and transforms tediousness into challenge and even enjoyment.

The key issue will be on Jan 2, once the game is done. Without the incentive of the game, you’ll likely regress into similar bad habits. If you want to continue to use chastity releases as your incentive, I suggest you consider another game for the winter months—maybe hours of excercise per week. It’s hard on self esteem when you hit a weight goal only to see your gains evaporate more quickly than it took to achieve.

If gamification works for you—then make sure you always have some kind of game to play (chastity or otherwise).

In my humble opinion.
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Re: Giving Chastity and weight loss a try

Post by sherulestherooster » Wed Oct 24, 2018 10:43 am

Lockedchef wrote:
Wed Oct 24, 2018 10:10 am
Along the dominate lines what I wish is she would get a little more vocal with her "No you aren't cumming" along those lines. Just even the talk and interaction of it. We are both a bit hesitant to outright say what we want. Easier in a text message, something I should work on to. Even after being together for 10+ years still feel a little judged asking for something new in bed.
I can relate to this post in a few ways. First, I have asked her for similar sexual rewards and punishments for weight loss. No go. She's more overweight than I am, and I *suspect* that's part of her reluctance. I could lose about 20 pounds, she could lose 40-50 and she's very, very sensitive about it so weight loss in general seems to be a topic we just can't discuss.

In my fantasies, I have a pretty elaborate reward / consequence system that I think is pretty erotic, but I've brought this up in the past, and she showed zero interest. The thought of her being a "trainer" of sorts is incredibly arousing to me. In fact, during our wake-up routine many years ago, there used to be a fitness show I'd watch - believe it was Kiana Tom. She almost always had these major body builder men on her show and it just struck me as super hot that she would often critique their movements. She seemed on the bossy side. Plus, it was filmed in Hawaii and had amazing backdrops.

Anyway, we haven't had any sexual contact in about 10 days and she got to bed and I just took out her Hitachi, turned it on and she said, "oh BTW I'm on my period, so wearing a pad", then proceeded to place it on High over her pad and she started feigning "oh, but the door isn't locked", "I'm not sure I want an orgasm". She often finds some "excuse" but I was having none of it and as the pleasurable feelings starting overtaking her she just seemed happy that I was being persistent. I have to press pretty hard when she has a pad on, but she came nicely (was cute how she really muffled her orgasm as she was concerned about the door not being locked (please no judging - even though my son's door is adjacent, he always has the door shut and headphones on and has really never interrupted our bedroom play - our out of the nest daughter did so FREQUENTLY).

Anyway, long story short, she came, said she was tired and fell asleep with my erection pressed against her. It's hard for me to wrap my head around this, as this is what I'd call "passive" denial wheras I would prefer "active" denial where she'd for example stroke me and then say something like, "I bet you wish you could cum like I just did, but orgasms are for wives, silly husband"; "I like you horny for me, so let's wait longer for your orgasm". Whereas with "passive" denial it's also erotic in the sense that she really doesn't feel any need or obligation to reciprocate. So, I guess that's a long way of saying, I can related to you wanting that verbal, dominant affirmation of denial.

I do feel judged by asking for things. I wish we could figure that out. We've actually done some very kinky things, many of them just once, I'm afraid.
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Re: Giving Chastity and weight loss a try

Post by sherulestherooster » Wed Oct 24, 2018 10:56 am

Bird in a Cage wrote:
Wed Oct 24, 2018 10:28 am
Gamification.
Thanks for the term Bird in a Cage.

We have actually done somethings like this in the past. We started our male orgasm denial journey with a dice game where she rolled dice and we agreed that I couldn't orgasm until she had that many orgasms. I really liked that game because it incentivized me to seduce her and give her pleasure. And sorta like the Hunger Games Gamemaker, she could alter the rules at her whim. One time my cage slipped off after a shower and she punished me by adding points.

Another time she developed an elaborate "chastity key scavenger hunt" where i had to answer clues to unlock myself before she got home. I read on some forum somewhere that they were using those geochaching game where the KH would leave a key somewhere... and the risk of someone taking the key added additional excitement.
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Kitten
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Re: Giving Chastity and weight loss a try

Post by Kitten » Wed Oct 24, 2018 12:14 pm

I wish you the best of luck on your weight loss journey. Also, I totally agree that chastity needs to be fun in addition to having a purpose. Without the fun side it would become a chore ... and who needs another chore?

Just a tad bit of history here ... I was a tiny 5'4" person most of my life, was 102# soaking wet in jeans when we were married, topped out at 110# after 2 kids, and in my late 50's I weighed about 145#. I've been on the 'weight loss' merry-go-round for a little over 4 years now. I looked in the mirror one day and a beached whale looked back at me. I promptly got the scale out and stepped onto it. When saw 292 I was mortified! Over the years I had jumped from size 3 to 4x. OUCH!!!

I'm not a chef by any stretch of the imagination, but I am a hell of a cook and taste testing has akways been a biggie for me. KBT is a meat & taters kinda guy (and only has a 37" waist), so down-home Texas cookin' is always on the menu. In addition to that, I'm an insulin dependent diabetic & supposed to eat 6 times a day. Not a good combination for weight loss. I knew that fad diets don't work long term and exercise wasn't an option since I was in a wheelchair 24/7. But I knew I had to DO something.

To make a long story short, I've had a couple setbacks over the past 4 years, like visiting my family up in WA state for a month last summer with lots of restaurants & tons of fast food. That one set me back quite a bit. Anyway, as of this morning I stepped on the scale at 174#. Still have a way to go but am feeling much better & not in the 'chair' 24/7 anymore. All total (including the added pounds I've had to re-lose) I've lost a little over 150# ... that's a whole fluffy person 😂.

Ummm, I forgot to mention how I'm doing it. I decided that changing how I eat could work. And it has! I take smaller portions and no longer subscribe to my old school training of eating everything on my plate ... when I've had enough I just stop eating. I also (most of the time) try to eat healthy snack foods instead of the high fat junk I used to eat for my 3 daily snacks.

Don't know if this is of any interest or not, but just wanted you to know you're not alone in this oh so common life struggle.
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