any Selflockers with a significant other

Living the real life under lock and key
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cycling2work
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2015 10:24 am

any Selflockers with a significant other

Post by cycling2work »

If I don't make sure I am locked I might have a weak moment and try to edge myself. I never have the intent of an O. but it seems we men are not as good at edging as some of our Wifes in that we go to far.

My wife though doesn't demand me to be locked up and doesn't even seem to understand why I want to be locked at night so I am the one taking care of that. The rare time I go out at night with my friends she will ask me if I am wearing the device and smile when I tell her that I am. I love those moments.

Anyone out there where the wife approves of you locking yourself up, enjoys the lifestyle but you administer the key and the device?

The funny thing is it works for me. One example. Yesterday we had an amazing edging session. I did not lock up. Today my wife left for sport in the morning (very rare). I was NOT locked. I thought about it long and hard, the brain lost that discussion and I edged myself 3 times. Without a cage I would have continued till I have an accident or at least a ruined orgasm but instead I stopped there and put the cage on. With the cage on there was no more temptation even though I had the key.

The weird part of the desire to touch myself again is that the first 60 days this desire was a lot less strong and at one point it felt i lost the addiction or desire of self pleasure. But If I am locked I am locked, even though I have access to the key and to unlock I always get permission from my wife. Anybody have similar experiences?
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rrecoveing Masturbation & Porn addict
View my Chastity Journey
Currently locked in a Steelworxx Looker2

sunnyweasel
Posts: 59
Joined: Mon Aug 10, 2015 10:07 pm

Re: any Selflockers with a significant other

Post by sunnyweasel »

Iam in a situation like that. Wife knows I wear device but but currently has no interest.
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spandexpauly
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2016 9:57 pm

Re: any Selflockers with a significant other

Post by spandexpauly »

I know exactly what you mean. At first when I approached my wife about the idea she thought i could self resist masturbation without a device. After a long conversation she agreed that I could be locked up.

She doesn't lock me up, as she has no interest in that.

However, she is in to the game fully. She sends me hot texts during the day, sends me hot pictures, make comments constantly around the house and out etc etc

The only thing she does not like it locking me up. in return, although I can pull out of the device, I have given her the respect of not cheating.

The results have been wonderful. I'm horny constantly and she understands and plays off of it.

Couldn't be happier.
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newbie
Posts: 259
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2013 6:44 am
Location: Upstate NY

Re: any Selflockers with a significant other

Post by newbie »

I am in a similar situation with my wife, in fact I have talked about it at length in my "Journey" entries.

I've been self locking for a long time and my wife has gone from not wanting to know anything about it and not understanding it at all, to acceptance, to partial participation, back to I don't want to know about it, etc..

Quite the roller coaster ride.

I think I tend to push things a little too much and if she gives me an inch I tend to take a mile, so eventually she just gets tired of it an wants me to put it away. She has always maintained that the device turns her off, that has never changed.

I have recently started self locking again and she is aware of it, but I'm not asking for her participation at this time and only lock when I feel I need to, and generally at night.

I feel that she is beginning to understand that this isn't something that's just going to go away, and that hopefully she'll accept it more if it doesn't involve participation on her part. Time will tell.
0 x
Last orgasm: October 20, 2016. Masturbated while locked. :(

Last PIV: been a while

Device used: CB6000s, Holy Trainer V2 (part time) Black Short and Clear Standard.
Currently locked part time in a Clear Holy Trainer V2 Standard, 40mm ring.

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cycling2work
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2015 10:24 am

Re: any Selflockers with a significant other

Post by cycling2work »

@ spandexpauly

seems our situation in this regard is pretty similar. She is extremely happy to play along and to deny me. When I had used the HT she had both keys but I knew where it was and she would just tell me to get unlocked each evening but not demand the relocking. Now I am getting used to the contender and waiting for the bigger base ring I have the keys. However she loves the lifestyle, loves teasing and denying me.

@newbie, i remember reading through your journey with a lot of interest and seeing how your wife got more and more into it. Sorry she is currently more opposed again. Does she notice any change in you if you don't masturbate?
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rrecoveing Masturbation & Porn addict
View my Chastity Journey
Currently locked in a Steelworxx Looker2

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newbie
Posts: 259
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2013 6:44 am
Location: Upstate NY

Re: any Selflockers with a significant other

Post by newbie »

cycling2work wrote:@ spandexpauly

@newbie, i remember reading through your journey with a lot of interest and seeing how your wife got more and more into it. Sorry she is currently more opposed again. Does she notice any change in you if you don't masturbate?
Hey cycling2work, good to hear from you. I'm not sure she's opposed right now, just sort of indifferent. She did notice my device in the bathroom after I cleaned it and it didn't seem to bother her, maybe just sort of a "here we go again" but she wasn't upset. I'm not sure if she notices a change if I don't masturbate, but I know she enjoys the attention I give her when I don't. Sometimes she receives pleasure without feeling like she needs to reciprocate, but then other times I get the feeling she either wants to or feels obligated. In either case the last two times it has been reciprocation in the way of oral from her, with me obviously not locked, which is very unusual from her.
0 x
Last orgasm: October 20, 2016. Masturbated while locked. :(

Last PIV: been a while

Device used: CB6000s, Holy Trainer V2 (part time) Black Short and Clear Standard.
Currently locked part time in a Clear Holy Trainer V2 Standard, 40mm ring.

Grizzly228
Posts: 204
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:06 am

Re: any Selflockers with a significant other

Post by Grizzly228 »

Most of the time I'm not locked but when I am it's usually by my own hand. Often if I feel I may have a weak moment I'll lock myself just to add another barrier and give me more time to reconsider. I often like the feeling of being locked when at home. It's at work or during sleep it becomes a hassle. But my gf knows and is involved many times even if it is not her idea or under her control. Several times she's told me she wants me locked or has taken the key. And while I enjoy her holding the key, realistically I know I could pull out and cum at anytime really but that defeats the purpose. I am not into defeating the cage but using it to show my devotion to my gf and denying myself. And even though it's not always by her command she always benefits so she is all for it.
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WifeIsVanilla
Posts: 384
Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2013 8:36 pm
Location: Central NC

Re: any Selflockers with a significant other

Post by WifeIsVanilla »

My otherwise wonderful wife of 37 years has become very "vanilla," and she really dislikes everything about the concept. She knows that I love my devices, but will have nothing to do with them. She tolerates my "insanity," albeit unhappily.
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Have worn: Curve & CB 6000s
Now mostly wearing my Mature Metal Jail Bird, occasionally alternating with my Mature Metal Watchful Mistress and Holy Trainer v3.

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newbie
Posts: 259
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2013 6:44 am
Location: Upstate NY

Re: any Selflockers with a significant other

Post by newbie »

WifeIsVanilla wrote:My otherwise wonderful wife of 37 years has become very "vanilla," and she really dislikes everything about the concept. She knows that I love my devices, but will have nothing to do with them. She tolerates my "insanity," albeit unhappily.
WifeIsVanilla, my wife and I have been going thru the same roller coaster ride for a while now. She started out totally disgusted and turned off by the device and the whole chastity concept all together, then she became somewhat indifferent to the whole thing, then of course I pressed the issue and had her keep a key (which she forgot she had and couldn't remember where she put it, found it eventually) which was a disaster, and then she got frustrated with the whole thing (ie me) and told me she didn't want to deal with it anymore. Since then I have restarted wearing the device, and she is aware that I do... to some extent. I still tend to not expose her to the fact that I'm wearing it again even though she's seen it lately. For me, the best route to take is to not get her involved at this point, my plan is to wear it self-locked when it's convenient to do so. I believe that over time she will understand that this is something I can't just give up (I've tried several times and thrown away a few devices) and will just accept it as being a part of me. I know it's important that I not be wearing it when she's "in the mood" so this could never be a long term wearing, so that ads a layer of complexity.
0 x
Last orgasm: October 20, 2016. Masturbated while locked. :(

Last PIV: been a while

Device used: CB6000s, Holy Trainer V2 (part time) Black Short and Clear Standard.
Currently locked part time in a Clear Holy Trainer V2 Standard, 40mm ring.

WifeIsVanilla
Posts: 384
Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2013 8:36 pm
Location: Central NC

Re: any Selflockers with a significant other

Post by WifeIsVanilla »

Newbie -

I wish you better luck than I have had. It has been 4 years for me, and I have tried all of the advice offered on this forum. I have gradually and gently explained how and why it works for me on various levels and also how it could benefit her as well.

She thinks the entire concept is way too kinky and wants no part of it, letting me know in no uncertain terms that she never wants to see any of the devices . . . although she knows that the small black case that I do not try to hide and that goes with me when ever and where ever we travel, which is often, contains those devices.
0 x
Have worn: Curve & CB 6000s
Now mostly wearing my Mature Metal Jail Bird, occasionally alternating with my Mature Metal Watchful Mistress and Holy Trainer v3.

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