Wife wants me in Permanent Chastity--is this realistic?

Living the real life under lock and key
jackhf
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Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2015 6:19 pm

Wife wants me in Permanent Chastity--is this realistic?

Post by jackhf »

After nearly a year of experimentation with wearing a device, my wife and I are discussing a more permanent, consistent arrangement. We both agree that our marriage has been greatly enriched, in and out of the bedroom, since I asked her to be my key holder. And while I don't wear the device all of the time, I am expected to stay chaste (i.e., not indulge in acts of self-gratification).

My wife has recently taken a "course" in FLR, the moderator of which believes that the male orgasm is a selfish, pointless act, one which should be consistently denied. My wife loves how I act when I am denied (I couldn't be a better, more attentive husband when I haven't had release in a few weeks), and hates how moody and selfish I become, post-release.

So, other than an infrequent ruined orgasm, and nocturnal emissions, my wife is leaning toward permanent denial. I wonder if anyone else here has experience with this--is it realistic to live one's life this way, or will I become a basket case in short order? Any advice or shared experiences are welcome.
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wishful4
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Re: Wife wants me in Permanent Chastity--is this realistic?

Post by wishful4 »

I really do think permanent orgasm denial is doable, but it will require the commitment of both of you. For you, it will be difficult for a month or so, but will get better with time. You will have "moments of desperation" at various times that both of you (especially your KeyHolder) will have to manage. Over time, keeping you chaste will probably be harder on your spouse than you. She will have to keeps things interesting for you, continually encourage you, and make sure her sexual needs are met. You both will have to expand your definition of sex to other activities. I suspect that she may get tired of chaste male management before you tire of chastity. Talk at length about it together, discuss your expectations and come up with a plan to implement it. You can't expect her lock you up, then do everything to make your journey interesting. You have to commit to being a better spouse and focus completely on her pleasure during whatever sexual activity you do and make sure she knows this is what you want to do. Reading some of my writings in the Fiction section make help, but be aware they were primarily written for entertainment but have some worthwhile information on longer term and permanent OD. Although I am locked for periods of several months on occasion, neither of us have a desire for permanency (at least not yet). Please keep us updated on your progress.
Last edited by wishful4 on Fri Jan 29, 2016 7:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Wishful4
Current Device: DhGate S671 (A271)
Previous devices: CB 6000s, CB 6000, MM Queen's Keep (2)MM Jailbird

Caged55

Re: Wife wants me in Permanent Chastity--is this realistic?

Post by Caged55 »

jackhf wrote:After nearly a year of experimentation with wearing a device, my wife and I are discussing a more permanent, consistent arrangement.

So, other than an infrequent ruined orgasm, and nocturnal emissions, my wife is leaning toward permanent denial. I wonder if anyone else here has experience with this--is it realistic to live one's life this way, or will I become a basket case in short order? Any advice or shared experiences are welcome.
...there may be varying levels of "permanency". My wife is set on chastity being a "permanent", or for the foreseeable future, part of our life, meaning I stay chaste 100% of the time (if practically possible off course). She insists on and therefore enforces chastity, like this morning I was allowed out (cage off only - base ring on) to stroke my cock to near orgasm, then calm down and back into the cage.

The second form of denial this year, is her decision to make 2016 a orgasm-free year, to counter the post-orgasm moodiness. It's an experiment she want to try out to improve my behavior "permanently", and hence a year's worth of denial, is in my book fairly permanent.

A further aspect is milking, if my KH can get me milked (once a month) she may lean to complete orgasm denial, or use orgasm as a special treat I have to earn, again improving my behavior but with a potential reward in the making.

I have no problem with chastity 24/7, and love being chaste for her, and she loves the obvious behavioral improvement plus me being chaste for her. The orgasm denial part of it is still something I need to work with, it's hard at times and constantly horny for her - which is what she wants, so it plays towards her vision of things and the way forward in our FLR - but honestly I would prefer to orgasm every few months atleast with the caveat that if my behavior changes she extends the time frame - BUT for now, I am on day 28 of 366 of a orgasm free year - which she, as your wife feels, may just be permanently denied... Maybe being milked will help
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glove
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Re: Wife wants me in Permanent Chastity--is this realistic?

Post by glove »

I am on day 47 no orgasm and only 1 erection. Locked in a jailbird. She says maybe she will make me cum sometime in March, as I am not allowed to touch it or cum without her hand in it.
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slave d
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Re: Wife wants me in Permanent Chastity--is this realistic?

Post by slave d »

i am getting close to that. Something like 2 months since i've been uncaged and have only been milked and had runied orgasms in the cage so no etections at all and no release for anything. MsM has the extra security option for the Contender on its way and that has a seal that has to be cut off with side-cutters do it won't be comming off often after that . She has decided to change me over to the old HT2 while travelling overseas but still totally locked.

d
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Jasmic68
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Re: Wife wants me in Permanent Chastity--is this realistic?

Post by Jasmic68 »

I have mixed feelings about this.

I recently managed to explain to my Wife the reason that I want to be denied orgasm in a way that made sense to her. It is because of the electric way my body reacts to her orgasms after I have been denied for about three weeks. The first time I experienced this 'bodygasm' it was so much more powerful than an ordinary orgasm and went on for much longer. She then decided that I no longer needed orgasms and was now, at last, totally fine with denying me. Before that she used to worry that she was being cruel.

So we came to a joint decision that long term denial was something that I actually desired.

My issue is with the whole 'Male orgasm is selfish' angle. If you are not party to the decision for long term or permanent denial then surely the person doing the denial is the one being selfish? Personally my experience of post orgasm change of behaviour just has not happened and I don't understand why anyone would allow their behaviour to change. My Wife doesn't stop being my Wife just because she let me cum and she equally does not stop being my Mistress. Our FLR doesn't evaporate as my cum cools, so why should my attitude towards her leadership change?

The point is that while my Wife doesn't believe I need orgasms any more she does still want me to have them, because she enjoys them, as many women do. She enjoys feeling my body tremble, seeing me ejaculate, seeing my reaction. Which, by the way, is an intense outpouring of emotion as it has become about a once in six week event. She still wants me to have sex with her and to feel me cum inside her. The one thing this male chastity has not done is spill over into her being denied as well.

So if one of these women was to start telling her that my orgasms were selfish she would tell them where to go. Politely the first time, but my Wife only remains polite for a limited time with someone who upsets her.
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ptharv
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Re: Wife wants me in Permanent Chastity--is this realistic?

Post by ptharv »

Last cage removal was August 2015. Last orgasm was March 2015. When I ask the wife when next cage removal is, she uses the word "years". So i guess this is pretty close to permanent. Locks are checked every couple weeks, but the cage is not removed. Because of the open cage design, cleaning is not a problem.
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chupika130
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Re: Wife wants me in Permanent Chastity--is this realistic?

Post by chupika130 »

I've been released for climax twice in the past year about 3 years ago I went two years locked with no release basically one release a year now for the rest of my life so yes I'm basically permanently locked I love it and she loves me very much
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peter_rabbit
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Re: Wife wants me in Permanent Chastity--is this realistic?

Post by peter_rabbit »

Jasmic68 wrote:I have mixed feelings about this.

I recently managed to explain to my Wife the reason that I want to be denied orgasm in a way that made sense to her. It is because of the electric way my body reacts to her orgasms after I have been denied for about three weeks. The first time I experienced this 'bodygasm' it was so much more powerful than an ordinary orgasm and went on for much longer. She then decided that I no longer needed orgasms and was now, at last, totally fine with denying me. Before that she used to worry that she was being cruel.

So we came to a joint decision that long term denial was something that I actually desired.

My issue is with the whole 'Male orgasm is selfish' angle. If you are not party to the decision for long term or permanent denial then surely the person doing the denial is the one being selfish? Personally my experience of post orgasm change of behaviour just has not happened and I don't understand why anyone would allow their behaviour to change. My Wife doesn't stop being my Wife just because she let me cum and she equally does not stop being my Mistress. Our FLR doesn't evaporate as my cum cools, so why should my attitude towards her leadership change?

The point is that while my Wife doesn't believe I need orgasms any more she does still want me to have them, because she enjoys them, as many women do. She enjoys feeling my body tremble, seeing me ejaculate, seeing my reaction. Which, by the way, is an intense outpouring of emotion as it has become about a once in six week event. She still wants me to have sex with her and to feel me cum inside her. The one thing this male chastity has not done is spill over into her being denied as well.

So if one of these women was to start telling her that my orgasms were selfish she would tell them where to go. Politely the first time, but my Wife only remains polite for a limited time with someone who upsets her.
I agree. My wife is independently-minded, generates her own opinions, and doesn't need someone telling her what should be, or how she should act. The bodygasm you speak of is exactly why she enjoys denying me orgasms, or minimizing/ruining them. She likes keeping me wanting. It's the opposite of selfish - she's letting me stay in this blissful state and I adore her for it.

She also enjoys my orgasms, but they are her decision now. They have been for over 18 months now. I prefer the concept of permanent masturbation and orgasm control over complete permanent denial of orgasm.

I mean, once she actually does make me orgasm from just nipple (and lately earlobe) stimulation, how is this denial? ;)
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cagedmonkey
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Re: Wife wants me in Permanent Chastity--is this realistic?

Post by cagedmonkey »

Remember that "chastity" doesn't necessarily mean "orgasm denial." I don't think that permanent, 24/7, locked on forever chastity is doable mainly because of hygiene/health reasons, but permanent orgasm denial is possible, I would think.

The difficult part of that comes when the inevitable "resistance" phase comes up - the part where you wonder if it's really worth giving up your orgasms. I find it's easier to get through that with the idea that ML will eventually be giving me an orgasm... The question is when, of course. If I was told I'd never orgasm again, in guessing I'd find that hard to take.
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