New to chastity, and have questions.

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chastesubnz
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2015 2:37 pm

Re: New to chastity, and have questions.

Post by chastesubnz » Fri Oct 30, 2015 1:42 am

Shepherdsflock wrote:If you are pulling yourself out, why are you bothering with chastity devices?...
If you view a chastity device as simply a masturbation challenge to be overcome, you should probably consider some other kind of sex play. You'll get tired of chastity real quick if your heart is not set on it.
I feel like this is sort of a contradiction, my idea of chastity is to be unable to pull out, or at least difficult. If it is so easy to pull out, why wear one at all? The idea is for it to be removed as an option. The play and fantasy of it comes from my partner being in control, which I definitely do not get sick of!
chasteboi wrote: I find the cage to be a strong deterrent in moments of temptation. I'm not tempted to pull out when flaccid. It's when I'm hard and want to masturbate that the cage keeps me from doing anything. I can't pull out if I'm hard.
For me its not about a commitment to not masterbating, it is more about my partner being in control. We get off on that sort of control play.
TwistedMister wrote: For some [of us], the Holy Grail is *can't*. We don't want to have to make a 'choice'. Having a choice implies some measure of control, which is the exact element we want removed.
Exactly. The idea is that the control be in the hands of my partner and not myself. So it is not about me having to be disciplined and obey. Instead it is about being unable without my partners consent. It is about my partners control, not a test of my own discipline.
Tom Allen wrote: ...We've seen here a few times that some of the guys finally get their partners on board to try it, and then discover that they can pull out, or can orgasm in the device - and then it kills the mood for everyone because they had the idea that a device would make it impossible.
I didn't have thoughts that it would be impossible per se, but that it would at least be difficult. But yes this is a control based sex play, so being able to easily escape the device is not conducive to the fantasy. I am not after anything too unrealistic when it comes to these devices, more so I am after advice of how to achieve that balance of comfort and security. I am willing to concede the idea of complete security as fantasy, and not achievable. However, in the case of this device, there was no struggle, it was defeated in a second.
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TwistedMister
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Re: New to chastity, and have questions.

Post by TwistedMister » Fri Oct 30, 2015 7:56 am

chastesubnz wrote:...being able to easily escape the device is not conducive to the fantasy. I am not after anything too unrealistic when it comes to these devices, more so I am after advice of how to achieve that balance of comfort and security. I am willing to concede the idea of complete security as fantasy, and not achievable. However, in the case of this device, there was no struggle, it was defeated in a second.
I have had some issues with this. When we first started I was expecting to be completely unable to escape, but it turned out that only the smallest ring of the CB3k was effective at preventing 'pullout'...and that size became excrutiatingly painful during nocturnal erections. Though I'm still searching for the 'Holy Grail', I've had to modify some of my expectations and devise other means of making them 'realistic'.
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04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted

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Albert Steel
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Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2014 4:53 am
Location: Scandinavia

Re: New to chastity, and have questions.

Post by Albert Steel » Fri Oct 30, 2015 10:24 am

I'd guess that with enough determination, you can have fun with yourself wearing at least most, if not any of the devices in the market. On the other hand, it's always something adding to what you would naturally be wearing so there's always at least a small penalty in comfort.
I also started with a plastic thing (CB copy), but the base rings broke in matter of weeks. Then I bought a metal device (the Bon4M) which seemed like a fine off the self option with a reasonable price tag. Realising you could actually back out of the tube with little effort got me questioning what's the thing for then, especially when the device completely fell of in shower (without any attempt in getting balls out). Both of them were also very uncomfortable in the night time.
I accept the fact that when you're wearing a device, it's going to pose you some limits to what you can do (but seems not that much actually), but if it's a cage, it should keep the prisoner contained.

For me getting a piercing, combined with a custom device, has been a good solution,since a device locked through a piercing securely prevents you from removing it (or pulling out). Reading the forum, seems it's worked for many others too, but obviously is not the solution for everyone.
Wearing the plastic device, I could also get off with a vibrator against it (had to try it after reading this forum), but luckily the custom metal device(s) are better in that sense, too. I'm sure that with enough determination or long enough streak caged, they would not be vibrator proof, but I'm not looking to defeat the system, rather enjoy it.
And they are also comfortable in the sense, that they don't wake me up at night and I can do several kinds of sports while wearing one. For the often referenced bicycle ride, I would prefer the Impaler (no base ring), or simply organise so that I can go without a device since I'm not kept in a dark dungeon by an amazon keyholder queen.

Another thing that's not directly related to this topic, but has popped up in one or two threads again recently, is issues with foreskin when wearing a chastity device. I've been on this road only for bit less than year and a half, but had the repeating problem of foreskin swelling underneath the penis, when continuously locked for more than about two days.
I'm wearing the excessive skin (hehe) rolled back all the time, especially after getting the piercing.I have tried different device configurations to understand what's causing the issue but cannot say that I'd have my finger on the solution yet. Might participate in one of the threads about that though.

And in reality, I'm not caged 24/7 anyway; I've kind of agreed with my better half that I prefer her to decide when I get to orgasm, and for a few days after the last it's not a problem to keep from playing with myself. After a few days, or a week the temptation starts to grow and she'd lock me up and often it's still just for the daytime. It's not like I'd be secretly jerking off during the night, it's much more fun to get the attention from the keyholder. In fact I've kept out of the business for last 15 months, except for two accidents related to trying out the devices (vibrator with a plastic device, and trying whether the Securo Cage is actually secure). You don't really want to start counting from zero again after that (who's counting anyway..).

Wow, accidentally a long post, but to conclude a relative beginner's flood; There's a lot of experience to be found on this forum and on the blogs of the long-timers, seems Tom Allen for example has been to this forever, that you can use to educate yourself about the subject, but as it is very subjective one has to remember everyone has their own goals and perspective to it. And when you draw the line of what you consider as CAN'T (vs Won't) it is very possible that it can be reached, but it might take extra effort..
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lockedsteve
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Re: New to chastity, and have questions.

Post by lockedsteve » Sat Oct 31, 2015 3:20 pm

Tom Allen wrote:
chastesubnz wrote: So in summary, I want to know how a device can be as secure as possible without being painful.
https://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/2010/ ... css-scale/

And just because I'm in that kind of mood today:

https://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/2014/ ... restraint/
I agree with the second link. I call it Chastity play and that is what it is; play. It is a game and if it becomes uncomfortable, we stop it. If I am being affected by too long a period of denial, I am given an orgasm. I even stopped wearing it when I go out. I discovered how easy it is to masturbate in a Jailbird with just a swab used through one of the openings. I remove it when I shower. I have always viewed chastity as a cooperative sex game. If I ask to be locked up, why would I want to cheat? I would only be cheating myself and no one can force me to do anything i do not want to do sexually.
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