Keyholders with no libedo

[LOCKED HUSBAND]

Lady M wrote "I'm a very active keyholder, a very intense keyholder."

I hope more than anything I will hear these words from my keyholder someday. She is getting better every week.

I hope you know how good you have it cagedmonkey!!!!

Oh, trust me, I do... My Lady is 100% the perfect keyholder for me, I couldn't ask for anything different!

@OP: as My Lady mentioned before, the communication notebook was huge. ML's libido did increase at the beginning of our chastity play, but it's skyrocketed over the last little while because of one thing we have done - we agreed that both of us could share any fantasy that we have with each other without fear of ridicule or weirding the other out. At first, I was the one with all the fantasies while ML didn't have many to bring up. Either she was holding back fantasies, or (more likely) she felt free to expand her mind and her curiousity, but eventually ML started to have some pretty interesting sexual thoughts... and some of the things we've tried out have surprised us by turning us on immensely!

Without our agreement to communicate openly and honestly, and more importantly to listen to each other without prejudice, I don't think we'd be where we are today.

Yes cagedmonkey you are one lucky man to have Lady M . You are very instrumental in our journey, and yes my KH is progressing rapidly at being more dominate. Since we started our private journal via Emails as we found to many of our conversations veered off to other things leaving to much unsaid, now even our talks are much more open to sharing our desires and fantasies. Don't want to ramble on just wanted to say thanks for all your post.

[wettie]

So I emailed the long narrative of my sexual desires and my desire to have more intimacy last night. I requested that she read "Make Chastity, a Guide for Keyholders".

She fell asleep after reading it before we could talk as I was doing housework all night, so I was concerned she was creeped out. When we awoke this morning I asked if she had read it, she just said yes. I asked if she was creeped out, and she said no. I asked if she was willing to try chastity and a WLR, and she said yes.

We haven't discussed it any further, but she has given me a long list of chores, which I have been working on all day, and must get back to now. I guess we'll see where it goes. For now it is so strange how exciting it is doing housework on her command.

[maxANDsue]

Interesting post. My wife and I have not had intercourse longer than either of us can remember. I am thinking maybe 20 years ago. There are two reason for this. The first is a medical condition which made any orgasm painful. The other is that she is bisexual and just does not like the whole being penetrated thing. She is quick to tell me that if it was up to her, I would stay in permanent chastity to prevent me from being grouchy after orgasm and not having to deal with the mess. However, she loves me and used to make me cum every 3 weeks at most, because I have no desire for long term chastity. Orgasms are great and free and there are no prizes for not having them. I guess I am lacking whatever it is that makes men want to forgo orgasms.

So I lived with a woman with a low libido who now has had surgery to correct the problem that was causing her pain during her orgasms. Her girlfriend is living in another State now and they just talk by phone. My wife is going to be out of commission for at least 3 months and sex is not even a thought for her. She has not yet decided whether I may masturbate or remain unlocked yet. She just came home from the hospital the other day and neither of us have any thoughts about sex. Eventually I will have to ask her if I can masturbate or not. I am thinking that she may say yes just to please me or perhaps want me to share in her forced chastity. I am not sure which way she will go but at best I will only have masturbation for sexual release, not something I enjoy that much anymore since stopping that last year.

[cagedmonkey]

Yes cagedmonkey you are one lucky man to have Lady M . You are very instrumental in our journey, and yes my KH is progressing rapidly at being more dominate. Since we started our private journal via Emails as we found to many of our conversations veered off to other things leaving to much unsaid, now even our talks are much more open to sharing our desires and fantasies. Don't want to ramble on just wanted to say thanks for all your post.

That's so sweet of you to say! It's great to hear that we are able to spread at least a little bit of the joy and the fun we are experiencing with others. Thank you so much!

[wettie]

So the chastity continues to go ok. I'm locked, getting out about once a week, and having more sex play in between. I agreed as a rule that I could not ask for sex or pressure her to let me out, but that I could ask to perform for her, so we have done that a few times. I have been busting my butt to do more and more for her, but eventually run out of laundry and dishes!

I'm realizing that the big disconnect is that I honestly think about sex all the time. Pretty much constantly. I can control it and have never been unfaithful, but everything I see makes me want to have sex or masturbate. My KH on the other hand doesn't ever think about sex. She told me so, it never crosses her mind unless I'm making her do it!

This is less a chastity question than a relationship question, but how do we resolve this? I assume like all things in a relationship the answer is compromise, but it's difficult when we are both at the extreme ends of the spectrum.

[Tame Lion]

Mrs. Lion and I have been working out the differences in our libidos for some time.We communicate and compromise. Mostly, she keeps me locked because it is what I want, but slowly over the last six months she has gotten more into it and her libido has very recently reawakened a bit. For my part, I don't nag or beg. I just wait for her attention. We did make an agreement that she would tease me or do something sexual every other day or so while I am waiting for my next orgasm.

It works for us and we are both happy with it.

[NormasMan]

I like the notebook idea... less fumbling for words.

My wife has a low sex drive, and mine is out of control high (masturbating to ejaculation six times a day was not uncommon).

That's really what led us to Chastity... I'm trading "quantity by myself" for "quality with my partner", in turn she doesn't feel betrayed by me going elsewhere.

Too early to give feedback if it will work, this is Monday of week 2, and I'm only "locked up" when I'm home alone, and even then it's up to me to lock myself up when I feel the urge. Last Wednesday she did take the key to work with her though... the first and only day (so far) that it's been totally out of my control, and I would say it was pretty successful!

[locked4her55]

masturbating to ejaculation six times a day was not uncommon

Ahhh. . . The good old days.

WAIT I NEVER did it six times a day.

Must be a Texas thing.

[NormasMan]

Must be a Texas thing.

I'm not from Texas Originally... came here after the Army... I just never grew out of the High School thing.

If I had spent the time taking online college courses I'm sure I'd be a Doctor by now!

[wettie]

Must be a Texas thing.

I'm not from Texas Originally... came here after the Army... I just never grew out of the High School thing.

If I had spent the time taking online college courses I'm sure I'd be a Doctor by now!

Ha! Same here. I've been locked for 5 weeks now with only three orgasms, I realize that I have missed 204 orgasms!!!