I am fairly new to chastity and forums. From what I read on the internet, our form of chastity does not seem to be much like others. We just do chastity. No D/s, cuckolding or calling her Mistress. I simply gave her control over my penis, she did not take it. Since she seems to love it, I am happy to keep going on this way.
My wife is naturally a people pleaser who gets pleasure is giving pleasure to others. No way to change that and believe me, I tried. I am very alpha, to a fault. I know it may seem strange to have my wife control my penis but also server me dinner and take care of all household chores with a few exceptions. It is not very difficult for us because we have been into BDSM for about 45 years. I like to be sexually submissive as stress relief, and she likes dominating me sexually. Makes her hot to call the shots during sex and she loves to tease me and then tell me to lock it up. It works for us the same way our former BDSM arrangement worked.
Am I alone in having just a Chastity lifestyle? Do most of you use chastity as part of a larger fetish? There is a British website that seems to have a lot of self described "Sissys". Some websites have a lot of guys into cuckolding as a fantasy. Same for Femdom, D/s and similar websites.
Anyone have a feeling for where chastity is used the most? I cannot get a feel for this fetish since it is practiced differently all over the net. I do understand that chastity can stand on its own or be part of a larger fetish, but my impression is that it is used as part of another fetish the majority of the time. I also get a feeling that it is much more popular in Europe than in the States. I know a lot of kinky people an not one is into chastity. They all think I am the odd one and this is from people into some really heavy duty stuff.
My wife and I practise a similar style of chastity to you guys. I asked her to take control of my orgasms and to hold the key to my chastity in between times.
After we established the kink side of it (for me) and that it wasn't that I did not want to make love to her (for her), things came (not me!!!) quite easily.
My wife understands that it is the CONTROL she has that is the turn-on for me. And I am lucky in that she LOVES having that control! I guess if I had to quantify, I am definitely submissive and she is not an utter dominant, BUT she likes the whole control aspect!
So I stay in chastity for as long as she wants between sex.
My wife loves penetration so I am only locked up for up to a couple of weeks... I have to accept that she likes PIV sex too! However, I recently bought her a rabbit vibrator (after I expressed a desire for longer lock-up and she said 'Well-get me a toy then!!) and we will see where it goes from here!
I still sense my wife feels a little 'guilt' from being orgasmic without me, but I also thinks that, as we continue on, she realises this is my kink, it is what I want (ie to not have control over my O's) and that she can revel in her orgasms and sexiness guilt-free!
To each their own I guess... As long as you can make it win-win!!!!
maxANDsue wrote:Am I alone in having just a Chastity lifestyle? Do most of you use chastity as part of a larger fetish? There is a British website that seems to have a lot of self described "Sissys". Some websites have a lot of guys into cuckolding as a fantasy. Same for Femdom, D/s and similar websites.
I'm with you Max, my partner and I have a fairly vanilla life and this for me spices things up. I'm able to commit more time to my wife/KH and not be distracted by the annoyance of having to masturbate when she's not around. She therefore is provided with more satisfaction of the hope that when she feels like it I will be rewarded with some attention.
We (or more I) have our fantasies, but they will probably remain as just that. She thinks I'm crazy to lock myself up and give her the key, but after almost three weeks into this lifestyle I think she's learning to like it.
Now that she controls my orgasms I can't wait to get home every day and try to please her enough that I will get some reciprocative attention. For now it's working and it's fun.
I feel that chastity comes with a natural D/s subtext. When you are locked in chastity, you are submitting control of your sexuality to your keyholder, either for a little bit of time or a lot. Even if you are holding your own key, you are submitting to whatever limits you set for yourself. You don't have to do it with bondage/orgasm denial/flr/dominatrix stuff, but chastity definitely falls under the umbrella of D/s fetishes.
If you've read our blog, you probably have a good sense of the chastity life My Lady and I lead (and if you haven't read it, GO READ IT! ) We are definitely edgier than some people when it comes to our kinks, but we are also more vanilla than others. There is also a much deeper sense of D/s in our chastity play than others practice - although we don't do the Mistress/slave thing, I do call her "My Lady" or "Ma'am" during our sexual playtimes. We haven't found the sissification to be our thing. As far as cuckolding goes, we don't like to physically share each other, but the fantasy is pretty interesting.
Despite what it may look like, we are actually still in the "discovery" phase of our chastity play. We are still testing our limits, seeing how much denial/lockup I can handle, what added kinks we like, etc. It's an adventure, and we are having so much fun with it!!
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Subby hubby to the lovely Lady M
Devices (currently wearing): Jailbird, Revenge, There is no better feeling than giving control of all of your sexual pleasures to the woman you love. http://www.monkeyinacage.com
maxANDsue wrote:our form of chastity does not seem to be much like others. We just do chastity. No D/s, cuckolding or calling her Mistress. I simply gave her control over my penis
Around here at least I don't believe you are in the minority.
Been at this for over 4 years now and there is no talk of any cuckolding, sissification, D/s or Mistress calling.
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Happily secured since 4/2010
Have worn CB3000, CB6000s, MM Jail Bird & Watchful Mistress,
DHgate A271 & 273, DHgate Full Stainless Steel Belt & DHgate HT nub
Currently wearing A273
"maxANDsue wrote:our form of chastity does not seem to be much like others. We just do chastity. No D/s, cuckolding or calling her Mistress. I simply gave her control over my penis
I would say that there are more there that agree with that statement than you think.
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I have finally found the device I needed to begin my journey in chastity. I have never been happier in my marriage to my wife, lover, soul mate and now Keyholder.
cagedmonkey wrote:I feel that chastity comes with a natural D/s subtext. When you are locked in chastity, you are submitting control of your sexuality to your keyholder, either for a little bit of time or a lot. Even if you are holding your own key, you are submitting to whatever limits you set for yourself. You don't have to do it with bondage/orgasm denial/flr/dominatrix stuff, but chastity definitely falls under the umbrella of D/s fetishes.
If you've read our blog, you probably have a good sense of the chastity life My Lady and I lead (and if you haven't read it, GO READ IT! ) We are definitely edgier than some people when it comes to our kinks, but we are also more vanilla than others. There is also a much deeper sense of D/s in our chastity play than others practice - although we don't do the Mistress/slave thing, I do call her "My Lady" or "Ma'am" during our sexual playtimes. We haven't found the sissification to be our thing. As far as cuckolding goes, we don't like to physically share each other, but the fantasy is pretty interesting.
Despite what it may look like, we are actually still in the "discovery" phase of our chastity play. We are still testing our limits, seeing how much denial/lockup I can handle, what added kinks we like, etc. It's an adventure, and we are having so much fun with it!!
I accept that my boss is in control of what I do at work. I do not view it as a D/s relationship though. I just recognized that she is in charge in a part of my life, but outside of that, she is just another women. I do not see relationships as D/s as some do. My wife runs our house and relationship and yet she is not dominating. I can still voice my opinions and disagree until we reach a mutual solution. She does not need my permission for some things and the same goes for me. Everything else, we discuss. It has worked for us over a few decades.
I understand what you are saying but I see it more as role playing and I do not know if that is truly what D/s is all about. My dog is submissive to me and I do not believe he is role playing. It is what it is and like everything else in my life, changes over time. Thanks for your input and I like your blog.
maxANDsue wrote:I am fairly new to chastity and forums. From what I read on the internet, our form of chastity does not seem to be much like others. We just do chastity. No D/s, cuckolding or calling her Mistress.
For us, 'chastity' is a form of bondage and control, we do have a 'Mistress/slave' relationship (during the Game) but the application extends (officially)* only to sexual/semi-sexual/fetish activities and certain forms of 'personal services'. We do not have a full-time D/s relationship, WLM or whatever you want to call it, and I am not "submissive". In fact, we both have rather dominant type personalities in 'normal' life and tend to obtain or work ourselves into positions of power and authority in our employment. I am not required to perform all of the household chores while she lounges around, there is more work to be done around here than two people can handle, let alone just one.
However, BDSM/FemDom (in a sexual context) and forced control is a turn-on for me, I get a thrill from being in a position where I can literally be forced to participate in nearly *any* sexual/fetish/kink activity. I have established only a few 'hard limits' and Mrs. Twisted is free to engage [us] in almost any kink she wishes, for her pleasure or amusement, even if that kink is not [usually] a particular turn-on for *me*- for example, I have no particular attraction to wearing women's clothing, but if she wished to see me dressed in a 'french maid' outfit while serving her drinks it would not be denied her...and it is possible that in that context of being *forced* to do so there is the chance that it might *become* erotic for me.
In order to approximate as nearly as possible a condition of truly forced control, and to compensate for my superior physical strength, the rules I have agreed to stipulate that I am required to submit to binding/restraints on demand, and that failing to do so triggers a special condition whereby Mrs. Twisted has the power to use any means necessary to regain control, and to apply penalties/punishments which would normally be restricted by my established 'hard limits'. Since my [few] 'limits' encompass certain activities and conditions that I find detestable and non-erotic, and that I truly have no desire to experience, this has been fairly effective. She also enjoys the ability to apply certain forms of pain (that do not risk severe/permanent injury) in order to compel my participation in [sexual] activities in which I would not normally participate of my own free will (absent any such compulsion). Although safewords have been established for use under certain [limited] conditions (health, safety), if there is no danger of injury from the pain being applied and I can stop the pain by performing as desired, then a safeword does not apply and my only option is to perform the activity. Mrs. Twisted was initially hesitant regarding the use of pain because she didn't want to 'hurt' me but she has since discovered that slapping my cock and balls makes her 'wet', she has also discovered that she quite enjoys being 'naughty'- engaging in [sexual] activities that most likely would not occur under 'normal' conditions and compelling my participation. While her inhibitions (from a strict Catholic upbringing) have so far prevented her from actually engaging in cuckolding per se, it *has* been touched on, there is nothing prohibiting it, it is erotic for both of us, and as time goes on the idea comes up more often and she has become more comfortable with expressing her desire for this 'forbidden fruit'...I get the impression that her attraction to this particular bit of 'naughtiness' is stronger than she prefers to admit and that her inhibitions are gradually breaking down, a prospect which I find perversely thrilling and arousing.
Mrs. Twisted seems to quite like keeping me locked and the changes it induces in me, has the power to initiate it at will, and the power to extend it if and as she pleases. Although I have not been locked since the CB-3k split (which did some minor damage that frightened her) she has raised the subject of re-engaging a number of times. Earlier this year I released my limitation on the duration of the 'Game', which in essence, provides her with the power to extend it indefinitely if she so desires. Generally, her major obstacle to keeping me locked and denied is that she rather likes fucking (to put it bluntly), but the breakdown of her inhibitions could solve that little problem...
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04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted
We are the type of chastity where I would love to be the full blown wife lead dom/sub cuckold relationship with her forcing me in bondage and lingerie and making me serve her at all times, and having friends that knew and even participated. I know that is a typical fantasy, but I think I could really live that life.
But, what we really are is me in chastity because I masturbate way too much so I convinced my wife that it is better for both of us if I lock my penis away and she holds the key. I try to "serve" her as much as she allows and pick up as much of the housework as she allows, and in return I get released once every week or two to have sex with her that she doesn't enjoy.
I sickly do enjoy the fact that I can't please her with my penis, I just wish she would tease and taunt me about it more.
) We are definitely edgier than some people when it comes to our kinks, but we are also more vanilla than others. There is also a much deeper sense of D/s in our chastity play than others practice - although we don't do the Mistress/slave thing, I do call her "My Lady" or "Ma'am" during our sexual playtimes. We haven't found the sissification to be our thing. As far as cuckolding goes, we don't like to physically share each other, but the fantasy is pretty interesting. 
