Questions for the Wives

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bobby_rogers
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Questions for the Wives

Post by bobby_rogers » Fri Aug 01, 2014 6:22 am

Dear Ladies of the Chastity Forum:

I was wondering if you would be willing to share a bit of your collective wisdom. Please?

My wife has taken to the idea of my enforced chastity. (I know - I AM a lucky man). We have both found that this really works for us: While going through periods of no cumming, I am nicer, more attentive to her, in a good mood, feel better physically, etc. It is truly AMAZING! But after a while, I begin to feel neglected and then depressed.

Here are my questions, if you are willing to share:
1. For you and your husband, what have you found is his orgasm frequency that works best to keep his attitude good, but not let him spiral off to a bad place (get depressed, get too frustrated, lose interest or whatever)?
2. Does he know when he will cum next, or do you keep him guessing?
3. What, if anything, do you do or have him do to keep his interest level up and so he does not get depressed, feel neglected, lose hope, etc? How often?
4. As a follow up to No. 3, is that even an issue on your radar screen?

The longest we have gone is 4 weeks and we have done that twice. I can certainly go longer, but she has not made me (yet!). I begin to feel lonely and neglected. I wish she would edge me or spank me or whatever more. I feel more lovey than I used to and crave the contact. With more contact, I could go a lot longer, but I can't push her too much.

Thanks to any Ladies who choose to share.
Bobby
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slave d
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Re: Questions for the Wives

Post by slave d » Fri Aug 01, 2014 6:51 am

Obviously totally up to the Ladies here but i would have thought it would be better for your KeyHolder to join the forum and the KeyHolder section to have these discussions Herself. That's just my view though, and it may be that you aren't aware of the hidden KeyHolder section here ?

d
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LOCKED HUSBAND
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Re: Questions for the Wives

Post by LOCKED HUSBAND » Fri Aug 01, 2014 7:06 am

slave d wrote:Obviously totally up to the Ladies here but i would have thought it would be better for your KeyHolder to join the forum and the KeyHolder section to have these discussions Herself. That's just my view though, and it may be that you aren't aware of the hidden KeyHolder section here ?

d
I also am new and unaware of hidden KeyHolder section. Would love to know their views on many aspects of this journey also.
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Lady M
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Re: Questions for the Wives

Post by Lady M » Fri Aug 01, 2014 7:35 am

I'll reply more later when I can but I just wanted to say... have ya read my blog? Hahaha
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maxANDsue
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Re: Questions for the Wives

Post by maxANDsue » Sat Aug 02, 2014 1:48 pm

I will answer for my wife since she does not like to talk about sex despite the life she has lead. I felt the same as you. I have never gone longer than 3 weeks, with two weeks being more common. One of the things we did was establish three sex nights. We set aside an hour on those nights for sex no matter how tired we were or what mood we were in. My wife often had orgasm when she told me that she was not in the mood or did not want one. My reaction to her teasing always aroused her.

Despite that, I still felt neglected and depressed. I could not sleep well, was dreaming and thinking about sex all the time and bugged my wife despite all of her threats of what would happen if I did not stop annoying her with requests for sex. I totally understand what you are going through and my only advice is to find your comfort zone and stick with it as far as your chastity period goes. There is no honor or prize for going any longer than you like to. It is supposed to be fun, not self torture or some sort of test of your will. It is a sex game and once it stops being fun, it is not a game anymore.
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Lady M
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Re: Questions for the Wives

Post by Lady M » Sat Aug 02, 2014 3:04 pm

1. For you and your husband, what have you found is his orgasm frequency that works best to keep his attitude good, but not let him spiral off to a bad place (get depressed, get too frustrated, lose interest or whatever)?

I don't think it has anything to do with his orgasm, I could probably keep him orgasm free as long as he was teased frequently, given attention, allowed to give me orgasms. Those are the things that keep him going, horny as hell and constantly ready to please me. It's when I do allow him an orgasm that he gets more calm and his horny is mild. We have not run into him losing interest... though after 3 weeks our so of zero time out of the cage he can get a little frustrated but not in the good horny frustrated way.

2. Does he know when he will cum next, or do you keep him guessing?

We have a "maybe day" so he knows about what day I'm planning to allow him to cum. Though everyday is maybe day because I could let him cum today if I felt like it, I'm in charge. :) also, come maybe day, I could change my mind and push further if I don't want him to cum.


3. What, if anything, do you do or have him do to keep his interest level up and so he does not get depressed, feel neglected, lose hope, etc? How often?

He is teased (edged, pegged, used, tormented etc.) pretty much daily, he also helps me and makes me cum everyday, multiple times a day, he also has to lick my pussy (25days out of the month haha) before he leaves for work at night, every night (ritual of sorts), reminding him of his chastity, that I own the locked up cock and/or mindfucking him is also important. I try to do that at least once a day verbally or text message.

4. As a follow up to No. 3, is that even an issue on your radar screen?

I do worry sometimes if in not in the mood that he will feel neglected, I worry I don't do enough, especially during my period because a lot of what keeps him going and horny is watching and making me cum... not exactly happening during that much. I just intentionally try to tease him in some way everyday. I intentionally give him some kind of sexual attention (the best way to describe it is that I treat him like an object... grabbing his ass, slapping his ass, grabbing him pushing him against the wall and kissing him hard, calling him in the bathroom and tell him to lick me or suck my tits).

Ok I hope this helped and I hope there aren't too many typos!
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bobby_rogers
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Location: Atlanta, Georgia

Re: Questions for the Wives

Post by bobby_rogers » Sat Aug 02, 2014 10:06 pm

lady M and Max,
Thank you both for your replies. Both are very interesting.
Any others out there want to share?
Thank you,
Bobby
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wishful4
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Re: Questions for the Wives

Post by wishful4 » Sun Aug 03, 2014 5:08 pm

Obviously, not a wife or KH, but I felt I could add something to this discussion. Some of the things discussed so far is one reason MC hasn't worked well for us at times. We have had our ups and downs. My spouse is best described as somewhat of a lazy KH. When she was into the KH mode, she was fantastic. However, when I was locked early on, there were times she often would go long periods without any teasing or mention of the device. I agree with lady M, this is some daily maintenance required of a chaste male. It takes very little, often no more than a kiss, caress, or some verbal teasing. But the difference between a tiny bit of attention and none at all is like the Grand Canyon to a locked male. Many Keyholders don't realize this. I may get some flak from the wives for this statement, but for MC to work best, I believe that the KH has to have a moderate to high libido causing her to think often of sex. Doesn't mean it won't work. I just believe it works better. I used to kid my spouse by saying "we are trying male chastity, not male celibacy", hoping she would get the hint that I need a little crumb from time to time. Finally we got to where we communicated our needs better. Due to medical issues, she simply has an extremely low libido and I had to accept that. On the flip side, she does really enjoy giving me a prolonged teasing session from time to time. They are great and I love them. Bottom line, there has to be something in it for both of you and you have to compromise. Ours was that I am not locked most of the time now. I try to deny myself during the dry spells so that I can enjoy the teasing sessions that much more, but if it goes on too long, I sometimes can't resist a little self pleasure.
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Belle
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Re: Questions for the Wives

Post by Belle » Sun Aug 03, 2014 8:36 pm

It all depends. Jnuts and I have have been doing this for just under 4 years I think (totally lost track). I think our record was somewhere in the 13 week mark, but we no longer pay attention to time. It is basically a case of when I want him to cum I let him. Sometimes he knows ahead of time that he will be allowed to cum, but not recently. We found that overall it is too much pressure on me and we don't enjoy it if it is "scheduled". What I have been doing lately is writing Yes or No on a piece of paper and sticking it under his pillow. When the time is right he is allowed to check.

Texting is a huge turn on for him, and very easy on my part. A few simple words during the day is enough to keep him going. He also loves to perform oral, so that scratches his itch as well and keeps him going.
To me his mental state is very important in it, the increase in communication and emotional connection is the reason we do it.
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Tame Lion
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Re: Questions for the Wives

Post by Tame Lion » Tue Aug 05, 2014 11:00 am

We have found that locking me up has improved our communication greatly. It continues to surprise me that by caging my penis, our marriage improves. I've speculated that since the device makes me sexually dependent it might "force" us both to talk about things we formerly left unsaid. I don't know. It hasn't made Mrs. Lion more interested in sex (sadly), but it has made her more interested in me sexually. We talk more and share feelings much more freely. Go figure!
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