Disclosure

[poor]

As a result of a work injury I have half a dozen counselling sessions as part of my return to work plan. Being British and a male (who was brought up to believe the 'stiff upper lip' is what won us the Empire etc.) this is something that will be new and very different. The counselling is independent and confidential with an agreed report provided regarding fitness for work at the end of the sessions.

I don't think I'd have a problem talking about TTWD if it comes up. Its a large part of my life right now and turned around a failing marriage so I view it as a slightly odd but very positive experience and obviously I have an online persona here & on Twitter ( @poor_locked ) but speaking about it face to face with a stranger is something else.

So what I'm getting at is (from those of you in less repressed cultures who use therapy more readily) have you told your therapist? Should I? Any hints or tips?

[RegularJoe]

poor wrote:
As a result of a work injury I have half a dozen counselling sessions as part of my return to work plan. Being British and a male (who was brought up to believe the 'stiff upper lip' is what won us the Empire etc.) this is something that will be new and very different. The counselling is independent and confidential with an agreed report provided regarding fitness for work at the end of the sessions.

I don't think I'd have a problem talking about TTWD if it comes up. Its a large part of my life right now and turned around a failing marriage so I view it as a slightly odd but very positive experience and obviously I have an online persona here & on Twitter ( @poor_locked ) but speaking about it face to face with a stranger is something else.

So what I'm getting at is (from those of you in less repressed cultures who use therapy more readily) have you told your therapist? Should I? Any hints or tips?


Frankly, I'd be careful about it. While it's probably safe in regards to patient confidentiality, there's a substantial proportion (probably a majority) of the mental health community who consider fetishes such as erotically oriented male chastity as pathological...you don't want to get yourself labeled as 'mentally ill'. They tend to diagnose with relative abandon....and medical labels stick with great tenacity. The tendency is to 'pidgeon hole' behaviours a therapist doesn't see or hear about very often...it might even be reflected in a determination of 'fitness for return to work' in an adverse manner.

Remember, it wasn't very many years ago that the psychiatric community treated homosexuality as a mental disorder.

[chasteboi]

What does TTWD mean? I understand what it is, but what the actual letters stand for.

[poor]

The Thing We Do

[RegularJoe]

The Thing We Do

Yup, in the parlance of the BDSM community.

[Belle]

Frankly, I'd be careful about it. While it's probably safe in regards to patient confidentiality, there's a substantial proportion (probably a majority) of the mental health community who consider fetishes such as erotically oriented male chastity as pathological...you don't want to get yourself labeled as 'mentally ill'. They tend to diagnose with relative abandon....and medical labels stick with great tenacity. The tendency is to 'pidgeon hole' behaviours a therapist doesn't see or hear about very often...it might even be reflected in a determination of 'fitness for return to work' in an adverse manner.

Remember, it wasn't very many years ago that the psychiatric community treated homosexuality as a mental disorder.

Any therapist worth their degree hasn't thought this way in MANY years. I must admit, I take severe offense at accusations that therapists "tend to diagnose with relative abandon". What may seem like slapping a label on a client to you actually involves way more.

Poor, feel free to PM me if you would like a view from the other side of the couch.

I would say play it by ear. You will know if you are comfortable with the therapist and feel that this type of disclosure is appropriate. Contrary to the other belief expressed here, not all therapists will classify it as a deviant behavior. If you discuss the positive outcomes that it has had in your relationship, then you should have no issues. Atone will be a great one to speak to regarding this topic as well.

[celticqueens_sub]

Belle wrote

Any therapist worth their degree hasn't thought this way in MANY years. I must admit, I take severe offense at accusations that therapists "tend to diagnose with relative abandon". What may seem like slapping a label on a client to you actually involves way more.

Poor, feel free to PM me if you would like a view from the other side of the couch.

I would say play it by ear. You will know if you are comfortable with the therapist and feel that this type of disclosure is appropriate. Contrary to the other belief expressed here, not all therapists will classify it as a deviant behavior. If you discuss the positive outcomes that it has had in your relationship, then you should have no issues. Atone will be a great one to speak to regarding this topic as well.

Poor this is sound advice from Belle and clearly the advice of someone qualified to give it.

[RegularJoe]

You'll find many therapists haven't had any significant experience with these sort of fetishes...and will lump it under SM related mental disorders. I assure you that misdiagnoses are far more common than one might think....mental health practioners rely upon far more subjective diagnostic criteria than do medical disciplines associated with physical health. Psychotherapy is more of a 'social science'.

More enlightened therapists tend to regard fetishes as harmless if the individual (and partner) have no difficulty accepting the behavior....but will you be assigned such a therapist in this context? You won't be 'shopping around' for a therapist you feel comfortable with...you're dealing with a small provider pool.

Bear in mind that this is, essentially, an evaluation of suitability to return to work, NOT counseling sessions designed to facilitate self-understanding. Depending upon the individual's particular occupation it is quite conceivable that one's sexual predilections might well influence a therapist's opinion regarding suitability for particular occupations. Such evaluations are performed to protect the employer, as well as the employee.

If your TTWD proclivities played no direct part in your work related injury, and you (and your partner) are indeed comfortable with your sexual tastes, there is no value in even bringing the subject up, and a distinct possibility that the information could unnecessarily complicate matters.

If you want to further explore the psychological basis for your sexual desires, it would much better to engage the services of an individual truly qualified to provide such assistance, completely unassociated with any return to work suitability evaluation.

It's your decision, and you'll live with the consequences.

[WendyWicke]

Eh, why on Earth would a therapist talking to you about a work injury ask about your sex life?

If he asks and you don't want to talk about it, tell him to "Bugger off, Jimmy."

Hopefully he gets the reference.

[poor]

Thanks for all the interest thus far.

Having never done it before, I guess that I just want to be as honest as I can to the process in order to derive any benefit from it. Work colleagues who have had it are generally positive about the outcome.

TTWD may not come up. I'm not a sex worker so in that sense there is no direct link to work but I was hurt and it isn't the greatest leap of imagination to suspect that I'll be asked how I feel about being deliberately hurt. That would open the door to the subject at least.