Is It Unmanly?

[thumper]

Welcome to the forum, Colin!

[Dev]

Welcome to the forum, Colin!

Yes, I second that! Welcome, Colin. Glad to have you here...

D

[Jimi123]

I think MC is like many other things. Its what you make of it. If you think it makes you unmanly I think its more likely your wife will pick up on that. If she thinks it is? Not good. And if being cheated on is not your thing? JOIN THE CLUB BRO!

Define it for yourself. And do it or not. At some point the pros / cons need to be looked at.

BTW - I think that what made this forum so popular is that its not defined here the same as it has been on other blogs forums.

That its a feminization, maid service, 24/7-365 male orgasm denial, cuckolding, sex slave, / whatever...

The problem that I think many people (me included) have is that its really down to what you make of it.

[Dev]

Welcome back, Jimi.

BTW - I think that what made this forum so popular is that its not defined here the same as it has been on other blogs forums.

That was the whole point when Thumper started this forum--to have a place for the "other kind" of chastity practitioners to hang out and talk.

I like it here because I feel like everyone is open and honest, and very supportive of each other.

D

[Celtic Queen]

What, having to cage my husband because he's such a sexual beast us unmanly? Lol.

Here's a personal favourite metaphor- I may be the Celtic Queen but my hub is my warrior, my knight. Manly enough for you

[Tom Allen]

I'm too laz... er, busy to write something new, so I'll just regurgitate something I wrote back in March:

Personally, I’ve been reading so much about what people consider to be “submission” and “submissiveness” that I have decided to disassociate myself from the term altogether; virtually nothing of what I’ve been reading seems to apply to me, so instead of trying to defend my own submissiveness, or more correctly, those certain feelings that I get that I used to associate with submissiveness, I’m just going to move on to some other scale and call it something else. Or maybe I won’t call it anything; I’ll just feel them and describe what I can.

Above case in point — being locked up does not make me feel less manly, less assertive, less randy, or less anything. It makes me feel … more. When I’m locked up for long periods, I still desire to have sex — penetrative sex –and so I still try to ply my manly charms with Mrs. Edge, even though I know I will have to use her strap-on. Why? Because, hearing her moan, feeling her scratch my back, listening to her satisfied sighs — you know, fucking her — makes me feel hot, randy, manly, almost animalistically lustful. And again, that’s what Mrs. Edge enjoys. I’m not being punished, and she doesn’t see me as emasculated. She sees a sexual being — a man — over which she has some control. That makes her hot. And seeing her hot makes me hot. It’s not the denial, it’s the mutual satisfaction.

It’s amusing to see that the selling points for male chastity devices tend to focus on either making your man more “romantic”, or on making him do more household chores. Thumper’s reprint of the old xkcd comic shows that stereotype holds even in the vanilla world — women seem to want manly housemaids. But is this actually true, or is it a stereotype that plays on the idea that sex is something that men want, and women parcel out according to whim?

[mikecb]

I have to say that my head is spinning a little at this "manly" notion. In my own mind, of course, I don't intellectually view either submission or chastity belt wearing as any indication of my qualities as a man or husband. It seems like it shouldn't matter. That's easy to say! But, if you were to ask me to walk up to a trusted friend, male or female, and tell them "I'm submissive" or "I would love it if my wife would lock me in a chastity belt and hold the keys", I would be hard pressed to get past the irrational fears and blow to my ego I would feel. I'd probably be shaking like a leaf, and blushing bright red!

As I imagine it, I would find it difficult to "out" myself to either gender. It would be tough to do so to another man, because I would feel somehow immasculated by such a revelation. To a woman, I would feel the same, as well as also feeling like some kind of pervert, and also feeling like I'm not living up to the expectations a woman has for a man to be a certain way.

I've found it very enlightening to hear the very pragmatic perspective from the women who have posted here. I think I carry a lot of cultural baggage that men must be "macho" and carry themselves a certain way.

Great thread!

[wants2lockhimup]

I agree with the other ladies here! My man is not yet wearing a device but we are practicing the honor system and I find him as manly now as ever. Even more so to be honest. That he has the confidence and self assuredness in his sexuality to hand over his orgasms to me is the sexiest thing I have ever experienced. It is also very hot to have a man that is horny and desperate for my touch all the time!!! Whether he is my clingy submissive lover or my assertive, dominant lover , he is all MAN. I accept him and love him for who he is and not what others may "think" of him if they knew about our MC lifestyle. Just my 2 cents
M~

[mykey]

I struggled with this question for write a while too. This society does not consider a submissive man to be strong, and that attitude is part of my make up. I assumed it was also part of my wifes. So when I became her sub I spent a good couple of years struggling with this, on and off.

Her attitude was that this was rubbish. She does not see my submission as weak, she sees it as fun, as something that helps her be happy in our relationship, and she sees me as far too 'alpha' to consider weak simply because I sub to her.

Eventually her and thumper and maymay's and similar attitudes rubbed off enough that I now know in my heart as well as my head that I will not lose her respect through weakness.

[mykey]

Also I hate that term alpha male, as though somehow a beta male is less valued or respected.