All or nothing?

[simonsays]

This may seem like an odd question to many on here, but as someone newly exploring chastity I thought would ask...

Is chastity all or nothing? My fiance and I have been exploring locking me up of late (CB6000), and whilst I love the way it focuses the mind and body on my partner, the downsides are difficult to deal with. Most of the time being locked up is fine... its a lovely reminder that we have given control to our partners, and we don't have any reason to fight it. It excites us both knowing that she is controlling me even when we are not together, whilst at work for example. So far we have managed 5 days in a row before she offered and I willingly accepted to be unlocked.

For me the two negatives are the early morning erections, which result in loss of sleep and the nagging concern about whether this is causing damage to either my testicles or the erectile tissue in my penis.

So I wonder if anyone else feels the same and whether there are alternatives to my CB6000 that would still allow the upsides of chastity, whilst mitigating some of the downsides? Whilst self control seems like it offers some of the advantages, having to wear something that constantly reminds you of your Mistress seems to be half the value of chastity. Is this all or nothing?

Simon

[Celtic Queen]

I think everyone must go through this trough - whether locked or as a keyholder. The two negatives you refer to are common to all wearing a ball trap device, not just the CB range. We have a few full belt wearers on here who may shed some light on whether they have escaped the physical punishment of the device with full enclosure but I suspect that you need to weigh the benefits of chastity up against the discomfort of the practical enforcement of it.

[poor]

If you are asking;
"Does it have to be locked away all the time to be a valid MC relationship?"

My answer would be;
'No - unless that is what your KH expects and you are willing to give.'

It can only ever be what it is to the both of you. No-one else can be more right about you than you. It will get easier (and harder at times) with time and practice but if you don't listen and take into account each others needs, just like in any other aspect of your relationship, it won't last.

[Locked by LRC]

If I am reading you right, at this point, you would be comfortable with the symbolism of chastity? If this is true just wear the base ring and short pin with a padlock.

If you find this works, and then you want a better device, check with steel chastity makers. Some sell a cock ring that will lock onto a base ring. I know MM does but I'm sure there are others.

I think chastity is something that each couple works on at the start to see what works for them. Don't think because you read that someone is caged for 60 days that this is what you have to do to be chaste. I don't think anyone here would tell you that is how they started. They all had to try different things to see what works in their relationship.

[Tom Allen]

Simon, your body needs time to adapt to wearing a device 24/7. Most guys seem to need from a couple of weeks up to two or three months before they can handle full-time wear.

Start off small - a day or two, or remove it at night. Practice with larger cuff rings; it won't be as "secure" but you'll be able to wear it for longer periods. After a few weeks, move down a size to see if you can mange.

It's perfectly normal to not be comfortable for a while. Just take your time.

[thumper]

Agree with Tom entirely. Also, with regard to damaging your parts, as long as things aren't turning purple, I doubt there's any damage taking place. Were it happening, several of us would have no doubt had their dicks fall off by now.

[celticqueens_sub]

There is very good advice here, we have been doing this for 2 years now, I still can't cope with night time erections, so we just take it off at night... When I am away on business I keep it on. Dealing with the erections at night when I am alone in a hotel is easy, put the telly on get a beer from the mini bar, when I am at home, geting up and dealing with this also disturbs CQ's sleep.. not a great plan, she needs more sleep than our 18 month old! LOL! So do what ever works for you. So you modify the way you live it. We would consider ourselves 24/7 but not 24/7 wearers if that makes any sense?

[kpb57]

simonsays,

it's clearly not "all or nothing". That's mostly BS that the wank-fodder resources will want to make you believe.
Where you go and how far you go depends only on the both of you. It's great to take hints from the other people who practice THEIR variant of the chastity game or lifestyle, but in the end it's up to only you to decide what and how to do.

As for your two "problem zones": regarding damage, as long as the blood flow is OK, nothing serious should happen. You will notice that your "erective power" may even be better after a considerable stint locked up. The odd pinch or abrasion will happen every now and then, but that is usually cured quickly by taking a little break. As for the morning erection ("Morgenlatte", as we call it), you will get used to it over time; if sleeping locked is enough of a thrill for your fiance and you, it is worth the effort.

And always remember, that the "goal" is not defined in days, but in fun.

K

[Chuck]

There's a lot of good advice here. Read everything and filter to your own taste. It is what you want it to be and you and your partner make your own rules. I prefer being locked 24/7 but in the first month or so there was time out for abrasions, fitting issues, modifications and comfort. It took a while to get the device right and to be able to sleep through the night. There are those who are locked long term with no release and others who don't wear a device at all and every variation in between. All of them are making male chastity work for them on their own terms. There is no right or wrong way to play this. Experiment, take plenty of time to find what works for you and have fun with it. There is no timeline. Even when you find what you like and what works for you, you may still decide later to change it up and do things differently. That's normal too.

[simonsays]

All... many thanks for all the great advice. My fiance and I will continue to explore and have fun