klick wrote:(I don't know if it is better to know or not?)
I wonder this myself. So far I know what my release date will be, at least until it gets renegotiated. I suspect we will at least try with me not knowing at some point. I don't think we are quite ready for that.
I was just thinking that a new thread might be more appropriate to continue this conversation, but alas I couldn't figure out how to start one.
CQ, I appreciate your insight. Yes, I do tend to get a bit self centered. I keep working on this, but it is sometimes my downfall. I guess I'm a 64 year old spoiled brat at times. That being said, I realize that none of us really know very much about each other (only what we share here on the forum). Perhaps if my communication skills were better I could express myself more accurately.
I did sound a bit like I was whining and complaining I guess and I apologize. My wife of 30 years and I have a very close and loving relationship. She is my best friend and in retirement we are together a lot (by choice). The one area that we have a problem with is sex. Perhaps its age, perhaps not, but over the years Karen's sex drive has waned considerably. Mine has not. In fact in the last few years I've discovered my latent kinkiness. I have had these kinky feelings as long as I can remember, but am just now coming to terms with them.
So, perhaps I am a bit too pushy. I've been locked in chastity for 30 days more or less and my hormones are raging. I'm on that roller coaster Thumper mentioned.
Yes, I know optimism in itself isn't enough to make this work. I will take your advice and give my wife more space. Because we do have a loving relationship I know that either she or I or maybe both of us will compromise and find a way of living with chastity that fits us. Meanwhile, yes I am impatient. Why didn't I discover chastity 10 years ago?
To get back to the topic of this thread, my biggest surprise is that after years of neglecting her I could still feel so affectionate toward my wife.
J
Your posts are always so refreshing and enlightening. We are generally a bit selfish and it can tend to be all about "me". Thank you for keeping us honest and expressing, so succinctly, the female point of view. Your observations are invaluable to this and other forums. Thank you so much!
Thanks wishful, that's very sweet of you to say so
James wrote:I was just thinking that a new thread might be more appropriate to continue this conversation, but alas I couldn't figure out how to start one.
CQ, I appreciate your insight. Yes, I do tend to get a bit self centered. I keep working on this, but it is sometimes my downfall. I guess I'm a 64 year old spoiled brat at times. That being said, I realize that none of us really know very much about each other (only what we share here on the forum). Perhaps if my communication skills were better I could express myself more accurately.
I did sound a bit like I was whining and complaining I guess and I apologize. My wife of 30 years and I have a very close and loving relationship. She is my best friend and in retirement we are together a lot (by choice). The one area that we have a problem with is sex. Perhaps its age, perhaps not, but over the years Karen's sex drive has waned considerably. Mine has not. In fact in the last few years I've discovered my latent kinkiness. I have had these kinky feelings as long as I can remember, but am just now coming to terms with them.
So, perhaps I am a bit too pushy. I've been locked in chastity for 30 days more or less and my hormones are raging. I'm on that roller coaster Thumper mentioned.
Yes, I know optimism in itself isn't enough to make this work. I will take your advice and give my wife more space. Because we do have a loving relationship I know that either she or I or maybe both of us will compromise and find a way of living with chastity that fits us. Meanwhile, yes I am impatient. Why didn't I discover chastity 10 years ago?
To get back to the topic of this thread, my biggest surprise is that after years of neglecting her I could still feel so affectionate toward my wife.
J
James, we only want you to succeed. Keep posting and dont lose that optimism
ian 1976 wrote: ↑Sun May 26, 2024 1:45 am
it’s odd isn’t it that denial and abstinence creates a closer environment and relationship than the distance that exsisted pre cage.
I don't think it's odd at all.
Once they realise that we hold the key, quite literally, to their sex, why wouldn't they give us their full attention?
Once they're giving us that attention, then closeness is surely bound to follow?
Just my observation as a (fairly new) keyholder.
3 x
Everything's better with a locked male. Better still with a nude, locked male.
I'm going to add to this.
We're closer because we are getting more attention. Attention is what we need. Out penises need attention also, and all of a sudden the focus is on our penises. Win win.
Yes, we are nicer when we want sex ktruer to say we want to come), and now we want sex all the time because we don't get it.
We want sexual attention, we want to feel good, be complimented and be worthy of that attention.
It flips about and we give attention in return.
We get all this from being caged.
2 x
Me. "I only got 30 seconds, that's not fair". C. "life's not fair, suck it up"
From my perspective, My Wife-KH and I had kind of grown apart, physically, we had pretty good sex lives early in our marriage then life continued to wear on us.
We just stopped being together, we still slept together held each other, kissed and said I love you to each other.
On my side I got to a point to where I felt she didn't want me and after starting this trip, found out she had felt the same way about me.
With chastity now I don't have the pressure of not knowing what she was in the mood for, if she unlocks me then I know what she wants, if she doesn't I know what she doesn't want, BUT I can hold her close, touch her anyway I want and she can as well so we have gotten much closer in showing our affection for each other without worrying we are starting something the other isn't in the mood for. I AT LEAST think if I were to ask for sex she would now talk about it instead of either just saying yes, when she didn't want to, which is terrible a experience for both or unlock me saying YES because SHE wants to.
It sounds silly thinking about how we both used to be sexually but we are getting older and much busier and each day seems to take more out of us then it used too, so I just thought that's what happens as people get older, neither of us have had any older family members to talk to about this so we just went along with how we felt.
We have even gotten into spending time in bathtub together talking about what we are doing.
So the biggest surprise has been how much we still like being together and how much this little experiment has brought us, literally closer together.
Mikel
2 x
Currently locked in custom BA 34R, also use Ba-20 with triple base ring occasionally switched for BA 25 with double base ring.
The venture into caged chasity (as opposed to just not having piv sex) meant the discovery that coming is actually not the ultimate I used to think it was. The fact that I have handed control of my cock to my wife and I can’t make myself come or even touch it properly feels amazing and I'm often on a sustained high thats infinitely better than making myself come, and doesnt have that dip afterwards. As I rype this before getting out of bed my nipples feel incredibly sensitive and ive had several very pleasurable woods overnight.
The fact that she enjoys it and loves to wind me up is even better, she knows she has control and that i will only be caged when or if she wants, thats important to us. She doesnt like to hold the key, that sits with her rings on the dressing table, but heaven help me if I move it without permission.
PIV sex is the ultimate, but for various reasons she can't do that and has low libido so I'm glad she can get pleasure from controlling me. I also hope it takes the pressure off her.
For those who want it all immediately I can only say be patient and dont push it. The pleasure has to be mutual and its taken us over 10 years to get here. Even now I have no idea of the future, i might be caged long term (its probably been 70% since last October) or it might stop tomorrow. If she says stop then the cage comes off and gets put away, no questions asked (as befits a good slave).
mikel2411 wrote: ↑Mon May 27, 2024 7:22 pm
With chastity now I don't have the pressure of not knowing what she was in the mood for, if she unlocks me then I know what she wants, if she doesn't I know what she doesn't want
I'd arrived at a similar thought.
Males pretty much ready for sex at a moment's notice but females more a "when they're ready" kind of thing.
It makes me think that a caged male is then being kept "in a state of readiness" so that when his female is ready, and unlocks him, they are both going to want sex rather than one partner just going along with what the other wants.
I don't know if Emm thinks along similar lines to this and maybe I've over-simplified things but it seems to make sense to me.
