Anyone know of a keyholder guide for only chastity?

[Barons]

Thanks Locked! I'll check it out. The title certainly sound promising.

[finallyhappy]

Sounds like you need two books. One on mind reading for her and one on anger management for you.

There is absolutely no reason for two people to be arguing about sex. It totally makes any situation worse. Relax, talk seek a middle ground.

[male_pet]

Taming the Caged Beast is a pretty matter of fact guide for potential keyholders.

http://www.brassiered.com/tamingthecage ... index.html

The book is mainly on pure chastity and teasing, but there are suggestions for kinkier fare in the final chapter. Overall, the approach of the book is very much geared towards a "pick and choose what works for you as a keyholder" approach.

You can get the book as a paid PDF or paperback or free online at the website. Given the other content on the website, it's probably worth paying for the standalone book!

[Barons]

Sounds like you need two books. One on mind reading for her and one on anger management for you.

There is absolutely no reason for two people to be arguing about sex. It totally makes any situation worse. Relax, talk seek a middle ground.

I agree with you there. It's just not the easiest advice to follow.

That's one of the problems with a lot of the.chastity guides I've found. It's way more common to find ones about how to get your wife to be a keyholder or to tell the guy how he needs to bend over backwards to make her happy but I've found very little that helps the woman be a good keyholder and learn what she needs to do.

I know it's a common theme in the chastity lifestyle to pretend the woman's needs are the only ones that matter but that's just stuff people jack off to. In reality both people need to have there needs met or there are problems.

[Barons]

Taming the Caged Beast is a pretty matter of fact guide for potential keyholders.

http://www.brassiered.com/tamingthecage ... index.html

The book is mainly on pure chastity and teasing, but there are suggestions for kinkier fare in the final chapter. Overall, the approach of the book is very much geared towards a "pick and choose what works for you as a keyholder" approach.

You can get the book as a paid PDF or paperback or free online at the website. Given the other content on the website, it's probably worth paying for the standalone book!

Awesome!!!! Thanks so much. I haven't heard of that one yet.

[Tom Allen]

Taming the Caged Beast is a pretty matter of fact guide for potential keyholders.

http://www.brassiered.com/tamingthecage ... index.html

Oh, look - and it's pink!

[TwistedMister]

I have had to learn to be very patient with Mrs. Twisted, it has been...I can't remember for sure...maybe 10 years or so since the CB-3000 arrived. After the initial introduction and use, it laid in a drawer for a few years. It has only been in the last 1-2 years that she has started really learning to enjoy the benefit of it. She is not one to go surfing porn sites or doing much exploring on her own, and, in the past it used to be that she was the submissive one in the bedroom and was not used to being 'in control' (though not so much in RL). This is somewhat of a role reversal for us and she has said that I need to 'teach' her, which I find difficult since I like to be surprised and I try to avoid 'topping from the bottom'.

We have both had issues with verbal communication (in areas other than sex/chastity play) as, outside of the bedroom, we are both dominant types and we can get pushy and angry. In verbal communication (with other people too) I find that I can easily lose track of what it was that I *wanted* to say and get bogged down in arguments that have veered off course. I am much better when I can write things out and get my thoughts in order, where I can explain my position without going into 'control mode'. (I entered the military at the tender age of 17 and rapidly learned to assume command and expect others to do what I told them to do- this is something that tends not to work very well when in a personal relationship with someone else who has a dominant personality.)

With Mrs. Twisted I use stories, guides and short notes (I go to work much earlier than she does, so sometimes I leave a note in front of the coffee machine, which she can read while having her morning coffee). I always try to write in such a way as to explain how something that 'turns me on' can be of benefit to *her*. Then I let her make up her own mind about what she wants to do.

[Barons]

Taming the Caged Beast is a pretty matter of fact guide for potential keyholders.

http://www.brassiered.com/tamingthecage ... index.html

This is an entertaining read but not exactly what I was looking for. I appreciate you sharing it. I especially enjoyed the bit about ruined orgasms, it was pretty hot. It's just pretty much the opposite of what I'm looking for lol.

They actually have a lot of other reading material if you into the submissive kinks.

tales from his lingerie drawer
Where women take charge of what her men wear underneath

my husband my maid
Tales of men as maids and the women they serve.

so you want to be a maid?
The definitive guide for men looking to serve.

brassièred
Think that bras are just for women? Think again with brassière discipline!

[Barons]

I have had to learn to be very patient with Mrs. Twisted, it has been...I can't remember for sure...maybe 10 years or so since the CB-3000 arrived. After the initial introduction and use, it laid in a drawer for a few years. It has only been in the last 1-2 years that she has started really learning to enjoy the benefit of it. She is not one to go surfing porn sites or doing much exploring on her own, and, in the past it used to be that she was the submissive one in the bedroom and was not used to being 'in control' (though not so much in RL). This is somewhat of a role reversal for us and she has said that I need to 'teach' her, which I find difficult since I like to be surprised and I try to avoid 'topping from the bottom'.

We have both had issues with verbal communication (in areas other than sex/chastity play) as, outside of the bedroom, we are both dominant types and we can get pushy and angry. In verbal communication (with other people too) I find that I can easily lose track of what it was that I *wanted* to say and get bogged down in arguments that have veered off course. I am much better when I can write things out and get my thoughts in order, where I can explain my position without going into 'control mode'. (I entered the military at the tender age of 17 and rapidly learned to assume command and expect others to do what I told them to do- this is something that tends not to work very well when in a personal relationship with someone else who has a dominant personality.)

With Mrs. Twisted I use stories, guides and short notes (I go to work much earlier than she does, so sometimes I leave a note in front of the coffee machine, which she can read while having her morning coffee). I always try to write in such a way as to explain how something that 'turns me on' can be of benefit to *her*. Then I let her make up her own mind about what she wants to do.

Hi Twisted,

Thanks so much for the reply. I'm in a very similar situation. My wife and I are both pretty dominate outside of the bedroom. We're also both pretty stubborn and our relationship is always one extreme to another. We love and fight hard. Sometimes I have to repair holes in the walls, other times I have to repair broken bed frames.

She surprised me with our first device but I made some thick headed moves trying to rush her and it ended up setting in a drawer for a while too. My wife's also not at all interested in checking out porn or researching it on her own. I've read a hand full of books on eating pussy,fore play, and erotica where the dude is dominating the woman to learn more about doing what she wants. I get a little resentful that she isn't doing the same for me but it's probably best that I find and filter the info for her considering all the stuff that's out there.

Most books are enjoyable to read even if they are not our style when it comes to chastity but I've also found my self reading books on giving great blow jobs or general stuff about pleasing a man, and wondering what the hell my boss would think if he checked my history lol. I'm sure "I was just reading it to decide if I should give it to my wife" wouldn't lessen the embarrassment very much.

My wife loves being the submissive one in the bedroom and has no interest at all in being the one holding the whip. I used to consider myself a switch but spending time in chastity communities has kinda turned me away from that. Mostly because everyone has a knee jerk reaction to point out all the ways we're doing it wrong.

It's not that I don't want advice or to learn new ways to improve but I'm normally hit with stuff to the effect of "You're doing it wrong your wife needs to be totally in control and you need to do all the cleaning and cooking and make sure she is sexually satisfied all the time without asking anything in return."

I'm not much of a diplomat and after a while of getting those types of responses it gets really annoying trying to defend our point of view in a respectful way. I normally end up getting rapped up in an argument and totally losing track of what I was hoping to get advice on. People make me feel like I'm in the minority for enjoying being dominate while in chastity and it's very difficult for me to understand why that is. I've always been a popular guy, I have lots of friends from sports, school, and other places. I've lived 3 countries and have male friends in 6 countries.

I know a lot of dudes. When we are bragging and talking shit we go on about fucking chicks, getting blow jobs, fucking her and her sister at the same time, how this chick teased the shit out of some dude until his balls were about to explode, or how that guy has been dating his girl for three weeks and she still hasn't put out, and so on.

No one ever says aloud "yea guys I talked my wife into fucking other men and she let me eat her out afterwards." At least none that i've ever met, but show up in a chastity group and dudes are stepping on each others toes to tell you about how your not doing it right if your old lady doesn't have you by the balls.

I say to each his own normally, and I enjoy hearing about how others do stuff but I don't want it forced down my throat by being told my way is wrong and the reason I'm having trouble because I'm not doing it right.

I'm trying to teach my wife how as well. It's kinda difficult because being a tease isn't really in her personality. I'm trying to get her in the habit of using her feminine charms and it hasn't been easy.

I'm going to take your advice on writing her notes. We have the exact same issues that are mostly due to past resentments. I also need to work on saying what I want to say with fewer words. I'm terrible about rambling on when I'm writing. Maybe is ADHD or something. I probably need a one day rule. Write her a note, wait a day then edit it and give it to her lol.

Your reason for being dominate is much better than mine. I've just never been shy about asking for what I wanted and pushing to get it. I have a lot of trouble stopping myself before I bull my way into situations where no one is happy even if I get what I wanted. I'll probably have trouble figuring out how to explain how things benefit her because I'm in general pron to exaggeration and being full of shit. I'm a salesman at heart but my wife can see though all my bullshit fairly easily. Still though I'm loving your idea about the notes.

I really appreciate the reply, I think it will help me communicate my desires much better if I can take time and figure out how to say things eloquently in a note.

[Tom Allen]

They actually have a lot of other reading material if you into the submissive kinks.

Point of order: "Submissive" is not inherently about cross-dressing or sissification; in fact, most men who self-identify as submissive are *not* into feminization.