Cuckolding and My KH's Needs

[fuzzydunlop]

my KH suddenly has a reawakened sex drive. she doesn't use certain terms, mostly because I think she hasn't really studied the subject too much. BUT she has told me she wants to screw around in front of me AND the thought of me doing the same in front of her makes her ill, all while totally acknowledging the double standard. I told her it sounds a lot like cuckolding, but she kind of looked at me perplexed.

I think the term "cuckolding" for some people might put too much emphasis on the cuck. For her, she's primariliy thinking about carrying out hot and exhibitionist fantasies and would prefer the attention to be on her rather than on what she is doing to me. I am still sorting this out, and this is the kind of thing I never would have thought would be hot 10 years ago.

[danj]

I think the term "cuckolding" for some people might put too much emphasis on the cuck. For her, she's primariliy thinking about carrying out hot and exhibitionist fantasies and would prefer the attention to be on her rather than on what she is doing to me. I am still sorting this out, and this is the kind of thing I never would have thought would be hot 10 years ago.

How about "hotwifing"? I know there can be quite a bit of overlap on those terms, but it might fit.

[fuzzydunlop]

sure, she might look at that way. whatever you want to call it, we've had a lot of interesting discussions lately. i am definately interested in hearing about realitstic experiences on the topic. i get very turned on and very anxious all at the same time.

[TwistedMister]

my KH suddenly has a reawakened sex drive. she doesn't use certain terms, mostly because I think she hasn't really studied the subject too much. BUT she has told me she wants to screw around in front of me AND the thought of me doing the same in front of her makes her ill, all while totally acknowledging the double standard. I told her it sounds a lot like cuckolding, but she kind of looked at me perplexed.

I think the term "cuckolding" for some people might put too much emphasis on the cuck. For her, she's primariliy thinking about carrying out hot and exhibitionist fantasies and would prefer the attention to be on her rather than on what she is doing to me. I am still sorting this out, and this is the kind of thing I never would have thought would be hot 10 years ago.

Mrs. Twisted and I [used to?] switch, as she has enjoyed a being bound and dominated. When we began the current cycle of her being in control (over a year ago now?) we were discussing limits and touched on the topic of 3rd-party involvement. She too admitted that she absolutely could not stand the idea of me screwing other women if/when (if I ever am again) I am 'in charge'. She was afraid that since I did not place any limits on 3rd-party involvement, I would expect her to do the same if the tables were turned. I had to explain and reassure her that my limits (or lack of them) did not have to be the same as hers, and that I would respect her limits in the opposite case, that the 'double-standard was perfectly fine. This was one of her main objections to the idea of 3rd-party play.

Previously, and still, at the time of this discussion she had insisted that she had no desire to screw anyone but me...but now, certain things she has said and done in the past few months make me think that she is reconsidering this. She has a bit of a conundrum on her hands- she has admitted that she greatly enjoys the benefits of keeping me locked and horny, but she *also* greatly enjoys PIV sex and has said that dildos aren't quite good enough for her.

Over the past 5 months or so there have been some off-hand comments dancing around the idea. (I have NOT encouraged her to fuck anyone else, nor have I even said whether or not I might 'want' her to.) For Xmas I gave her one of the most realistic looking and feeling dildos available (her previous 'realistic' dildo was sort of small and kind of a hardish material, it certainly didn't *feel* realistic, which I thought was part of her dissatisfaction with dildos). However, during our last 'playtime' a month ago I was using the new disdo on her and licking her clit while she teased and sucked my cock. Up until then she had been fairly passive, allowing me to pleasure her however I chose. Then, all of a sudden, she said "You like watching your Mistress getting fucked while she sucks your cock, don't you."

There were no qualifiers like "...with a dildo..." or "..with a fake cock...", similar to things she has said in the past, and I ignored her comment, acting like I was too busy to respond or just hadn't heard it. I could hardly say "no" (pun not intended) since the evidence of my arousal was right in front of her, but on the other hand, I was certainly not prepared to answer that question in the affirmative. A few seconds passed, and then, in a manner that was more insistent, dominant, demanding and commanding than I have ever experienced from her before, she slapped my rump hard and said loudly "Answer me, slave! You LIKE watching your Mistress GETTING FUCKED while she sucks your cock, DON'T YOU!"

At that moment, I didn't feel as though she were just 'acting' or 'play-acting'. I felt as though there was only one answer she wanted to hear, only one answer that could or would satisfy her...and that she was *determined* to make me say it. I hadn't planned on saying it, I wasn't *going* to say it...but...I did. The whole thing was very, very hot. And I'd be lying if I said I have never imagined a dildo being a real cock sliding in and out of her.

Am I reading too much into her lack of qualifiers? Was she *really* trying to to get me to say that I'd like to see her fucking other guys? Or was it supposed to be just a mind-fuck? More? Less? Just a 'spur of the moment' thing that she really has no intention of carrying any further? I don't know...but it could be interesting finding out...

[usaabn]

If you will allow me to give a little background...My bride and I have never ventured into sharing each other with other parties. We explored many years ago the idea of pegging (her penetrating me with a strapon) it has grown into a big part of our sex lives. It was I who first crossed the bridge. Due to a physical issue the strapon has taken a back seat. We still practice pegging she is just unable to use a harness.

Occassionally, while I was preparing to please her orally, she would ask if I would consider penetrating myself at the same time. I noticed that she would always become very excited during the act. I've ask during such times if she would like to see me being penetrated by a real penis while pleasing her. Her answer as always been yes. The fact that she enjoys penetrating me and my enjoying it sorta leads down the path of carring out the idea. In my case I don't have any desire to be pentrated by a real penis. I do have the desire to enjoy the fantasy with my bride. . She has never ask me to take it from fantasy to real life. In our case fantasy needs to remain fantasy.

Maybe she is allowing you to enjoy a fantasy that you have entertained. It might be possible that the slaps on the bottom and increasing dislike for dildos are designed for your pleasure. Fantasy's can come and go as we change. Living them out sometimes takes us places we can never return from....

Take care...

[TwistedMister]

She has *never* been satisfied with dildos, it isn't increasing, she just prefers the real thing. Discussion yesterday revealed that she *did not* intend "getting fucked" to include a 3rd-party, only by a dildo. She insisted that she had absolutely no desire to include someone else. Even if she didn't intend to do it, I think I would rather she hadn't said so, it sort of kills the excitement of the possibility that it *could* happen...which is not to say that I 'want' it to happen, but the possibility that it *could* happen was very erotic.

[Atone]

She insisted that she had absolutely no desire to include someone else. Even if she didn't intend to do it, I think I would rather she hadn't said so, it sort of kills the excitement of the possibility that it *could* happen...which is not to say that I 'want' it to happen, but the possibility that it *could* happen was very erotic.

I make it a point not to push my wife too far on her / mine / our fantasies. We have a long running theme that involves another man. It is really hot and exciting as long as I don't push it. It will *never* happen but in the moment it always seems possible.

The funny thing is that this fantasy was started by my wife and really got me in touch with my submissive side. I had long fantasized about my wife being with another man and I was there to "attend" to her while they made love. It would mostly involve me eating her during / after they had sex. I never brought it up, at least not other than a casual suggestion that I fantasized about her being with another man, no further details. Fast forward a few years and we were talking about fantasies and she shared that she often fantasized about being with another man. I asked about what that would look like. Then I asked what *I* would be doing while they were having sex. She said "the laundry". That has been a major fantasy of mine ever since. We live it out in a small way and I do all the laundry now. Turns out that it physically arouses her to watch me fold and put away the laundry every night. Not exactly "cuckolding" but it does meet my KH's need.

[usaabn]

"Even if she didn't intend to do it, I think I would rather she hadn't said so, it sort of kills the excitement of the possibility that it *could* happen...which is not to say that I 'want' it to happen, but the possibility that it *could* happen was very erotic."

It is so hard to understand where truth and fantasy end and begin. Some times its so much better to enjoy the moment...Its all good when you can talk to each other about your wants and desires. Even when one fantasy desolves...Maybe, it desolves to make way for a new fantasy.

[TwistedMister]

I had long fantasized about my wife being with another man and I was there to "attend" to her while they made love. It would mostly involve me eating her during / after they had sex.

My fantasy has been like that as well, being bound and forced to eat her during and after. Alternately, she comes home and sits on my face and I discover that 'someone' has filled her up.

I really hadn't wanted to make a suggestion like this, wanting instead for her to come up with the idea on her own rather than 'topping from the bottom'. If it were to happen, I wanted it to be *her* idea, and done in such a way as to give me no choice. Unfortunately, she is usually not as 'creative' and kink-minded as I am (and doesn't tend to go browsing the net for ideas either), but I've had a lot more practice in exploring the world of kink (pictures, stories) to see what arouses me.

We had a bit of discussion again on the matter today. It started out as texting while we were at work but a 160 character limit does not lend itself well to in-depth discussions, eventually she became confused and called me. We talked about how I would have rathered she hadn't burst the bubble when she discovered that I had thought that she had been talking about me watching her with someone else, because she had got me so aroused with the suggestion. I told her that she could have kept me in a higher state of eroticism if she had allowed me to go on believing that that was what she meant, using it to 'tease' me even if she never actually intended to do it.

At first she was a bit surprised that I could be aroused at the thought of her with another man, and then she admitted that *she* was becoming aroused at the thought that *she* was arousing *me* with such thoughts of her. (Anybody lost yet?) Then we talked about 'fidelity' and 'cheating', the length of our history together (nearly 30 years) and how we were both fairly sure that either of us running into someone else who would mesh as well as we do, and put up with the quirks, foibles, baggage and general shit that we each have learned to tolerate from the other and still love each other would be an unlikely event. I likened it to going to a dance were she might dance with someone else, but I wasn't worried about it because I was sure that she'd be going home with me.

At the end of the conversation she *seemed* to be reassured and happy that we had the discussion. Now, was she merely 'acting' like she was more comfortable with such a situation in order to perpetuate the fantasy (as I had previously said that I preferred)? Or is she *truly* more comfortable with the idea, and even 'turned on' by my being 'turned on' by it, as she said, and more likely to occur now? (And if so, will the reality be as 'hot' as the fantasy?) Should I have left it alone? Time will tell...maybe...

[usaabn]

I think you both will come to what is right...Thirty years is a long time to spend with a person. I know that I need balance in my life. My bride of many years allows walks slowly into deep water versus me jumping in right away. You know your wife and she knows you...Maybe let this topic simmer and see if she revisits the idea later.