Is it okay to ask to cum?

[chickenchowmein]

Okay! So, I've been locked since January. This is the first time she's locked me up for more than a day or two at a time. And INTENSE doesn't come close to describing it. But I'd really like to cum. I NEED to cum. Every night, I wake up trying to get hard and it's... uncomfortable.

But how do I ask? I really want to convey as simply as possible that no matter what, it's her decision. She doesn't have to say yes just because I'm asking. She doesn't have to say no because she thinks maybe that's what I secretly want to hear. Her decision, solely. What she says, goes. I do someday want to go to once a year, but I'm not ready yet.

[KHEmmi]

Every couple is diferent and has their own specific rules.

If Herbi were to ask to cum or even to be unlocked he would not only get a firm No from me but his stay locked would be extended.

[slave d]

Same here, it’s not you to ask or suggest but that’s just our system, your milage may vary.

MsM’s ld

[Sam3655]

Agreed. I am not allowed to ask for sex, unlocking or cumming. It’s her property and she decides if or when I am allowed to cum. But I feel you. Finished a six month no cum stint and 40 days into my next run.

[Spaceman]

I have asked on occasion, the answer is either a plain no, or adding more time if i push it. I've learned not to ask. When not locked there's no way I'll come unless she says so.

Its now well over a month and last time was her surprise decison and locked up afterwards. She's never allowed me to cum when I've asked.

[Mr Pickle]

There is a really big difference between 'really need to' and 'really want to' .
Or so I've been told.

[KHEmmi]

When I last checked Herbi there was no redness, soreness, bruising, swelling, broken skin, irritation or anything else to indicate a problem with him wearing his Cobra cage.

And those are the only reasons that I would ever unlock him.
Anything else is just a 'want' and he can carry on wanting as far as I'm concerned. He stays locked until I'm ready. It's as simple as that.

[KnownAsHerbert]

Anything else is just a 'want' and he can carry on wanting as far as I'm concerned. He stays locked until I'm ready. It's as simple as that.

Stern and determined words there, Emm.
The scariest bit is that 'he' you mention is ME!
At least I know.

Wish I also knew when the day of my great unlocking would be. Just saying. Not or asking or complaining or anything.

[chickenchowmein]

Okay. Y'all are right. I CAN do this. She'll tell me when I really do need to cum.

Thank you

[Curiousrk]

One thing i noticed about my wife is that she still likes to hear that i want her. That she is desirable. So there is a little bit of difference between asking for an orgasm and expressing the desire to be intimate with her. And I am trying to be better about being more specific about my desire to satisfy her sexual needs (which aren’t much during menopause) when talking sex, and not just talk about my own desire for an orgasm (selfishly) It’s a balance. I don’t want to ask for an orgasm because I personally like not knowing when (if ever). But i still want to communicate my desires to have PIV and to be with her in all ways a couple can be intimate, were it not for the cage and her holding the key (but that’s not asking for an orgasm per se). Don’t know if i am making sense or not. May just delete this.